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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be cross that my ds (10) was given this as a present

142 replies

voluptuagoodshag · 03/02/2015 10:30

He received a three month subscription for Xbox live from a pal (2 years older).

When DH and I investigated how it all worked (we are not gaming experts at all) we were horrified to discover that this allows a gamer to play on line with anyone, anywhere in the world. Yes there are parental controls but having now done some research and asked others who have it, it would appear that language can be choice and they can be communicating with anyone online. We would also need to buy a dongle to allow it to operate.

Now what I'm most annoyed about is that the parents of this pal didn't ask us if this was ok or if we had the right equipement. If they had, it wouldn't have been an issue but they've gone ahead and got this for our DS who is now clearly desperate to play on it. Also the subscription is only for three months, so it would then mean we were left with the decision of whether to commit to renewing it or not.

I just think this is the most irresponsible thing to do.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 03/02/2015 13:30

Christ almighty give.it to me my kids live has ran out.

Instead of the hysteria think of what the gold subscription can give him. He can't interact on live without a headset and you can turn the sound off if that bothers you.

He can get downloads and free stuff. He really should be hooked up to the Internet anyway for system updates which he won't be getting.

Yes you'll need a wire or dongle (which you can get cheaper than the price your bloke has given you.)

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 03/02/2015 13:31

Maybe you could suggest to your son that he could either purchase himself a Dongle out of birthday / pocket money, or he could re gift it to a friend whose Mum isnt quite so uptight.

SirChenjin · 03/02/2015 13:36

I'm willing to bet your DS has probably dropped his desire for X Box Live into the conversation at some point OP.

DixieNormas · 03/02/2015 14:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sparkysparkysparky · 03/02/2015 14:11

As I found out yesterday, there are plenty of people who will think you are out of order for even thinking that it could be problematic. Hysteria aside, it's a kind gift but they should have checked with you.

sparkysparkysparky · 03/02/2015 14:14

Hysteria from other posters by the way. Your response when in uncharted and previously unfinanced territory looks legit to me.

Altinkum · 03/02/2015 14:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook · 03/02/2015 14:19

What you really need is a PS4, and access to Playstation Network. Wink Better than XBox according to my 2 DCs.

I would imagine that your DS's friend asked your DS if he wanted it, and he said yes.

merrymouse · 03/02/2015 14:26

Bit of a rubbish present if you have to buy something else to use it.

INickedAName · 03/02/2015 14:34

To people question how the ipad is used without wifi, there are ipad models take SIM cards as well as wifi. Both my ipad mini and dds ipad 2 have SIM cards with data plans. They add £100 to the price but worth it for me as I use mine more out the house than in it. Dds is pay as you go for the times she's at sleepovers etc. It's also possible for one to be used without being online if it's just for gaming. You can dload everything to a PC and then sync through iTunes.

The thread isn't that long and it was mentioned quite early on about older xbox not being wifi compatible. It's been mentioned several times now but people are still querying the need for a dongle. Do people not read at least the OPs threads before commenting? It's not the OPs dh who doesn't understand tech. Online things did exist before wifi and it's not that common for households not to have wifi.

As for the question of it being a suitable gift, it's not something I'd buy for another child without checking, as I don't know if they would have internet or be happy with it, I'd assume if they don't already have live it's because they don't want them to so I would check first. Dd would love that for a gift though. She pays £6.99 ( direct debut via PayPal, so use the bank but without adding bank)a month and you get two free games a month for that so it's great value really, even more so if you buy a year at a time. I'd probably redeem just for the six games he'd get over that three months, even factoring in a £20 dongle it's a good deal. Dd (9) is not allowed to accept requests from people she does not know in real life, she's never ever played with just "anyone" and in the two years she has it we have never come across anyone using bad language etc.

If you have the kinect you can use that to talk without the headset too.

Totally up to you though if you want him to use it though, but if not I know a little girl who'd buy it from you :)

MissSingerbrains · 03/02/2015 14:36

The advice from your uncle is neither here nor there really. If his son is too angsty because of too much Xbox time, surely this would apply to any other gaming device (tablet, laptop etc)?

And the massive add on purchase bill could have easily been avoided. There are settings on the Xbox to stop in-game purchases or to limit them to prepaid vouchers only.

FWIW my DS has had Xbox live since he was 10, and so have the vast majority of his friends. It's not a big deal.

limegoldfinewine · 03/02/2015 14:41

Wow. OP, I agree with you! Who buys a subscription for someone else? Also, I think most of the posters attacking you protest a bit too much Wink. Maybe they feel a bit defensive about it? Do people really allow their kids this much screen time? Read a book!

INickedAName · 03/02/2015 14:43

sparkling your two dc are wrong. Everyone knows the Xbox is the far better gaming experience, playstation owners are just jealous when they say such things :)

I'm hoping to pick a preowned ps3 (no chance pf ps4 anytime soon) up for dd for her birthday, her friends at school are about half playstation and half Xbox no doubt we will end up with minecraft on that too.

INickedAName · 03/02/2015 14:47

Screen time isn't always bad though, what difference does it make reading a book on say a tablet to reading an actual book? Isn't it the reading that counts? Dd has learnt French from using her ipad.
Dds school do a lot of their work on tablets, work sheets etc are often on tablets. Tech is used a lot, for many things, not just gaming, and not all gaming is bad.
Some games encourage good skills like teamwork, minecraft is a good example really, it's about planning, managing resources,counting and a lot more. Not all screens are bad.

VivaLeBeaver · 03/02/2015 14:55

Its possible that the 12yo has bought it without their parents knowledge. My Dd had ar allowance and a debit card at that age.

littlejohnnydory · 03/02/2015 21:39

YANBU, OP. I wouldn't be very pleased at all.

MidniteScribbler · 03/02/2015 21:57

Oh get a grip. It was a gift. Kids had probably talked about whatever computer game it is together, and other child thought it would be a good gift so they can play together. Just because it doesn't fit in with your view of parenting doesn't make it an object of great evil. It's up to you as the parent to tell your son he can't use it, or alternatively, use it as a valuable teaching moment to show your child how to use social media responsibly.

Mrsstarlord · 03/02/2015 22:02

A debit card at 12 YO????? Shock

Am i really naive?

Sparklingbrook · 03/02/2015 22:05

My two have had debits cards on their own accounts since they were 11.

kim147 · 03/02/2015 22:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PunkrockerGirl · 03/02/2015 22:06

We've got Xbox live and don't have a dongle. don't even know what one is

VivaLeBeaver · 03/02/2015 22:07

She got it on her 11th birthday.

She can't go overdrawn on it at all so don't see the problem.

So her monthly pocket money goes in her bank account. She can use the card online, In Shops and to withdraw cash.

The idea is it teaches her to manage her own money and budget.

Charlotte3333 · 03/02/2015 22:07

I bought ES and DH and Xbox One for christmas with a years subscription to Live. ES is 9 and so far we've had no negative repercussions from him playing Minecraft with mates from school (aside from screams of "get out of the way, child, cant you see the Enderdragon is attacking me?" at YS when he deliberately stands in front of the telly).

I think perhaps it was a kindly-meant gift that wasn't thought through. I'd only buy something like that after checking with parents, but on the plus side you can pass it on to someone who'll get some use out of it.

Mrsstarlord · 03/02/2015 22:07

I am then!

I thought you had to be 16 to get a debit card shows how old I am

Mrsstarlord · 03/02/2015 22:07

I am then!

I thought you had to be 16 to get a debit card shows how old I am

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