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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be cross that my ds (10) was given this as a present

142 replies

voluptuagoodshag · 03/02/2015 10:30

He received a three month subscription for Xbox live from a pal (2 years older).

When DH and I investigated how it all worked (we are not gaming experts at all) we were horrified to discover that this allows a gamer to play on line with anyone, anywhere in the world. Yes there are parental controls but having now done some research and asked others who have it, it would appear that language can be choice and they can be communicating with anyone online. We would also need to buy a dongle to allow it to operate.

Now what I'm most annoyed about is that the parents of this pal didn't ask us if this was ok or if we had the right equipement. If they had, it wouldn't have been an issue but they've gone ahead and got this for our DS who is now clearly desperate to play on it. Also the subscription is only for three months, so it would then mean we were left with the decision of whether to commit to renewing it or not.

I just think this is the most irresponsible thing to do.

OP posts:

GraysAnalogy · 04/02/2015 11:17

I really really really want a child old enough to play Skylanders because I can't quite justify buying them for myself.

plinkyplonks · 04/02/2015 12:33

GraysAnalogy - I'm waiting for my nephews to grow out of it before 'borrowing' their Skylanders set :D

GraysAnalogy · 04/02/2015 12:35

I think I might have to buy it for mine, then obviously I'll have to show them how to play it..

Number3cometome · 04/02/2015 12:38

Poor kid!

ScrambledEggAndToast · 04/02/2015 13:18

My son loves this and first got it when he was about 9. As an only child it's nice for him to be able to chat to his mates when it's too cold to go outside. I have put the parental controls on so I feel happy he's safe.

MrsDeVere · 04/02/2015 13:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Number3cometome · 04/02/2015 13:29

Exactly that!!

The issue is not the Xbox, the issue is the parent monitoring and controlling the usage and ensuring they know how to use it safely and carefully.

OP - YABU, the issue here is not the Xbox live or the child, it's you and your lack of understanding. Wake up to the 21st century and give your child the education he needs in networking online safely.

plinkyplonks · 04/02/2015 13:33

MrsDeVere My mum used to say the same thing about my Sonic addiction. Until I came home from school one day and found out that she has been spending the last few weeks trying to beat my highest score! :D

AliceinWinterWonderland · 04/02/2015 13:42

I don't agree. The OP as a parent has every right to restrict her child's internet usage at home.

I don't have a problem if other children have the internet access through the games console. That's up to their parents, but they don't make those decisions for my child. It's a shame that there's just not a healthy respect for other people's parenting decisions here, rather than telling the OP she's being mean. That's the kind of mindset I'd expect to hear from... well... a 9yo, not an adult.

cece · 04/02/2015 13:46

I wouldn't be happy either. My ds who is 11 woud love it - he is currently on a campaign to get xbox live. I have said no and have no intention of changing my mind.

Branleuse · 04/02/2015 13:50

it was a present from another child. I think you just need to tell your child that he can have the 3 months but not to expect it to continue, and then supervise him online as you would normally and reiterate the normal web safety stuff

Stinkylinky · 04/02/2015 13:52

It's hardly the most irresponsible thing they could've done (as you put it) YABU.

sparkysparkysparky · 04/02/2015 14:13

Sorry that you have found yourself in this awkward situation. YANBU. Your child, your decisions. It might give you pause for thought about whether this a purchase for you and yours in future. But on your terms. To be generous about the other parent, it might have been a rush purchase relying too much on their child's input. But it assumes too much and they should have checked.

Member931420 · 06/02/2015 14:52

If you listen to the people saying it is ok then type up "call of duty xbox trolling". it is full of little kids swearing on it.

gamerchick · 06/02/2015 14:59

Hardly counts really. Anybody who freaks out over an 18 quid gold voucher is hardly going to let her kid waste his precious half hour a day in an 18 rated game are they?

BertieBotts · 06/02/2015 15:02

The light grey coloured XBox 360 needs a dongle to connect to internet, not a standard one either but a special XBox one which costs about £30 second hand. But you can plug it in using an ethernet cable, rather than wi-fi.

QueenFuri · 06/02/2015 15:37

YABU my DS is 8 and has xbox live so in his words "can play minecraft better". He doesn't speak to anyone on it, has no friends added. I have strict parental controls set up. Its an ok present I wouldn't mind him having it save me forking out for it.

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