to ask how on earth you manage to work when you have kids?

[whyareallthegoodnicknamestaken]

Currently just having a look at whats out there in terms of work as i have taken time out to have dc's so have been a SAHM for the past 6 years.
Everyone wants flexible working hours, zero hours contracts, People willing to work weekends..
Dh is away for work quite a lot and works odd hours, I have no one to drop off or pick up dc's from school. Paying for breakfast club and after school club every day isn't cheap..
How on earth do people juggle it? Genuine question. I have no idea how I'm ever going to b a able to get a job.

I live in the East Midlands coupe :)
I may look into it....

Yeah there's no way I'd be able to find a part time job in my area. In my experience you need to start full time, build up so people know you work your arse off and then negotiate part time. My sil is a sahm looking for school hours work, and is having no joy, I can imagine it's incredibly tricky to get!!

I do 4 days a week since going back after mat leave, DH does nursery drop off at 8 and I leave at 7am to get to work then so I can leave at 4.30 and pick up at 5.30. We have no grandparent help at all - they are all over 2 hours away.

When we get to school time (DS is only 2) my aim is to stick to part time hours but ask to work everyday so I can do school pick up most days. We'll hopefully get breakfast club spaces too. This means I'll be stuck at my employer for the foreseeable future but that's a v small price to pay I think.

When kids are sick though it's a total nightmare. DH and I have to share taking leave or tag team working at home / making up hours in the evening. The good thing is our employers are happy to support us in doing that! I'm just waiting for chicken pox or something to throw a massive spanner in our works!!

I will! :)

I have recently applied for 2 part time jobs.
I got an interview for both.
But it's turns out one was a temporary zero hours contract and the other is one that needs you to be very flexible which - with the best will in the world - I cannot always be.

Baddz There's a waiting list for the breakfast club and after school club at DS's school. You might find there is a market for you.
( we are not in the midlands though).

We use holiday clubs outside of termtime.

I did it BUT I was fortunate to have a good (v well paid job) and it cost a fortune in childcare (at its height 800 pounds a month). DH also pulled his weight 50/50.

I honestly don't know how some other mums do it tbh where they have no other family support and childcare costing so much.

Job in a school. Hours to fit around drop off and pick up and all hols off. It's perfect. Just don't expect to make a lot of money!

Bought a small house near nursery/work so minimal commute. Both Dh and I work full time. I work a compressed week so have Fridays off and we pay a fortune for nursery. Only saves £50 a month in child care, but time with dd priceless. Not amazingly well paid, but up north so cheaper living costs.

No family nearby to help. Only way we will be able to afford to have two dc without a 4-5 year gap (hopefully!) will be with the 15 hour discount and using £20,000 of inheritance to supplement our income for the years of double nursery fees. That's our choice. I enjoy working and need a balance for my mental health (whole other thread!)

When dc in school Dh will drop off and I'll pick up. Will use mix of cm and flexible working plus holiday schemes and annual leave. I'm so jealous of those with family help. Two friends haven't had to take off any time when their dc are ill. I wouldn't expect regular free help, but that kind of emergency back up would really make a difference.

So in sum. It works due to working as a 'team', not having much money after everything is paid for, and having regular hours. I don't know your work history. Perhaps Cleaning? Working in a school? Child minding? Someone mentioned getting a job and working child care around it, which is good advice. Do you have an idea of the type of thing you'd like to do?

Yellow - I had a very well paying job too. We worked out that after paying tax, train fares, station parking, fuel (30 min drive to a fast line), cleaner, someone to look after our animals and a very full time nanny I would have just a bit more cash leftover as I would working three days a week in a local (but still 'professional') job.

I would never be at home, DH is not here for 7 months of the year - we decided that that wasn't the sort of life we wanted. The odds on me being here when he is would be slim as he isn't always here at weekends.

I couldn't even find satisfactory childcare for a three day a week (45 min drive away job). Village school, no childminders attending, few after school clubs. After being let down severely in the holidays, getting stuck on a notorious road three times resulting in being 45-60 mins late for school pickup and having an after school club cancelled which was one of my lifelines on work days I gave up.

When we move house we will definitely bear all this in mind, living 30 mins from anything really compounds childcare issues.

I am sure other countries are better at this than we are.

We have never had local family support. I went back to work when my eldest (now 20) was just three months old and she went to a full time nursery nearby.

When I had my second child three years later we then stopped even trying to juggle it. Childcare costs for two would have more than wiped out my salary, and we would have been worse off if I worked, so I didn't go back after that.

In total, I spent 15 years as a SAHM (had a third baby during that time too).

It was very hard. My husband's earnings are OK, but not huge and we struggled. What we really needed was for me to be able to work school hours and have school holidays off so that I was actually making money rather than making a loss. It didn't happen despite me looking for years. Jobs like that are like gold dust.

The shackles only came off properly when my youngest (who will be 13 this year) started secondary school. It still took me ages, but eventually I found a part time job, which I am really enjoying. My daughters are old enough now not to need paid childcare and can be left at home for the three hours a morning I am out if it is school holidays. For several months of the year I also work from home, which is a bonus and does coincide with some school holidays.

It is hard. Very hard. It does usually ease though as your children get older and more able to be independent. When they are still at the pre-school or infant stage that can still seem an impossibly long way off.

I am actually quite relieved to read a thread where so many people admit to having found themselves in the position I was in. I felt very alone and down about it at times.

I work in a school and I'm very lucky that I'm able to do 9 - 3 so I can drop off and pick up my own children at a neighbouring school. DH has a 2 hour commute so I am pretty much on my own. I do have some family help though, for emergencies only, also my school mum friends all help each other out.

Good luck.

I am a single parent and have worked full time since DS was 7 months old.

I have a national role, so have to travel, but do get to work from home on a Friday. So, childminder Monday to Thursday. If I get stuck in traffic, my childminder will drop my DS at my neighbours or his Grandads. This generally only happens maybe twice a month.

There are times when I arrange meetings, so I can do the school run first, so DS does get his Mum dropping him off and also being able to go to assembley's.

School holidays are a mix of me and Ex-H taking leave, childminder and sometimes Grandad. I plan my childminding for the whole year and divide the costs by 12, so I spread the cost of school holidays.

It is a real juggle and I do spend some time in the evenings doing e-mails or finishing reports. I just have to be super organised and constantly plan ahead. It is doable, butI have to say, I wouldn't have it any other way. I love my DS and my job (it keeps a roof over our heads and food in our Timmy's) and do try my best to get a good balance. I still find time to play with DS, listen to him read, help with homework and get him to his various clubs.

I do have some 'paid' help. I have a gardener (neighbour) and a lovely lady who does my ironing and the fact she picks up and drops off is brilliant. Never bothered with a cleaner, as I couldn't imagine anyone cleaning to my standards lol.

When he goes to his Dad eow, I go back to bed and sleep for about 4 hours on the Saturday just to recharge the batteries. lol.

Timmy's ha ha. Meant Tummy's.

We have no family close by and my husband works 60 hours a week running his own business. There are no child minders in the village where we live and no after school club either, so childcare is very limited.

When DS was 2 I started going nuts with boredom as a SAHM. On a whim signed up as a Phoenix Trader (I sell greetings cards and stationery). I made some pocket money to start with, but it kept me sane. As DS went into pre-school and then school (he's now 6), I've been able to do more. My small business has grown to the point that I am earning a reasonable amount from it (and it's still growing). I completely work around the school run, with the occasional weekend or evening. It's been a lot of hard work, because I still have to juggle Phoenix in and around my family. However, it has given me a way of working that suits us. Having read all your posts I am very grateful that I'm not trying to juggle an employer and childcare. I don't know how some of you manage it!

All this is very interesting. At the minute I work reduced hours that are designed around DS's school times. I managed this through going back after mat leave to my big employer and eventually dropping a grade to support proper part time working as opposed to leaving when I had to then doing everything at home at night .

I'm now at the stage where frankly I'm a little bored and am seeing everyone else progressing on and was starting to think well maybe I should go for promotion. But that would require extra hours and DH isn't able to support with pick ups or drop offs unless I'm travelling due to his contract position, so actually reading through this I've got a great deal, because I have good hours. DS is still inprimary school, so maybe I'll put the big rethink on ice until he moves to secondary.

I am self employed, and I have a childminder. Two childminders in fact - when one can't the other can.

I didn't take time out of the workforce so I've maintained my career. That's how we've managed.

You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. I'd worked so bloody hard and long to get where I am (university academic) and if I'd taken more than my maternity leave I would never, ever, ever have got back into it. So the choice was clear, frankly. I went back to work, combined good nursery with flexibility of both our jobs so DS was with us more than nursery, and decided to only have one child. It's still been bloody hard.

I work FT, DH works pt from home, school hours only. Of my FT hours, one day a week is flexible so I can drop off / pick up which gives DH a bit more time. Otherwise DH does all childcare, wouldn't work with my odd shifts and hours otherwise. (This week - today 8-6, tomorrow 8-8 (24h), Thursday 8-6 flexible, Friday is a public holiday but would otherwise be 8-6. )

We have 4 dc and have always worked around each other. Dh works roughly 9-6 with a bit of flexibility, so does morning school run if I am on an early shift. Otherwise I work nights and weekends when he is home.

I work 8-2 5 days a week in a school. It's not easy work because of the type of school it is but as long as I can do a combo of dh/dm/breakfast club for drop offs do all pick ups. I have to plan in the evenings though. Off to do that now!

I agree with so much on here. I went back to a 60 hour shift work ft.job when ds was 11m. Since.then we.have done all manner of arrangements (total of only 12 months both working ft tho)The most successful was both working pt. I agree going back after mat leave is important later when negotiating flexible hours. Also dh taking equal responsibility for childcare. At the moment I work 0.8, Dh works from home 2 days a week and the dcs are now 8 and nearly 11 so can be left for an hour or so.

I work 16 hours - it takes an hour to get to and from work - so I leave after school run get there at 10 leave at 2 and get back for school run four days a week.
My husband works 50-60 hours a week and changeable hours - it's annoying because I could work my hours in two days, but it's working for now.

I'm in a well paid job so I earn enough to cover a nanny, which means no rush to do drop off and pick up as she comes to us, and more flexibility over the odd later finish. And DH gets home to take over one night a week so I can work late that night.

DH can't do much in the way of childcare in weekdays but he does do that one night (and more if I'm really busy at work occasionally), and he does early mornings too while I shower and dress, which makes a lot of difference.

I would regard stopping work as a last resort - I would move house, ask DH to change job (even if it meant he would earn less), consider every other option before I would give up working.