to ask how on earth you manage to work when you have kids?

[whyareallthegoodnicknamestaken]

Currently just having a look at whats out there in terms of work as i have taken time out to have dc's so have been a SAHM for the past 6 years.
Everyone wants flexible working hours, zero hours contracts, People willing to work weekends..
Dh is away for work quite a lot and works odd hours, I have no one to drop off or pick up dc's from school. Paying for breakfast club and after school club every day isn't cheap..
How on earth do people juggle it? Genuine question. I have no idea how I'm ever going to b a able to get a job.

DH does mornings (drop off at daycare/before school club) and I do afternoons.

We are very very organized through the week. EVERYTHING gets done Monday-Friday and weekends are kept for fun only.

When one of us travels for work the other has to take their 'shift'.

It is busy but we all seem happiest this way.

Grandparents! And I work in a school so off for holidays pretty much the same as DS

My teenage children are now at their eye wateringly expensive public school from 8am until 9pm. This means I can manage a full working day and a 3 hour commute. In the holidays I work from home whilst they sleep until lunchtime. jealous

In the holidays we have to do a combo of annual leave and holiday clubs.

Another school working mum. I teach English to adults a few hours a week as well, to bring in extra cash.

I work p/t (3 days a week) which I find a good balance, you have to pay for childcare thats an unfortunate fact of life unless you have willing family around to help!!

On a wing and a prayer . Most of the time I don't think I manage as such, more just get through.

I work in a school but the hours aren't flexible enough for me to do school drop offs etc. Once DS is at school
we'll need wrap around care. School holidays will be more than handy though.

I guess being organised and willing to compromise on things for yourself is the way to do it. I have my clocks set 10 mins fast, I pack the car up the night before and I'm never as 'polished' as I'd like to be for work. Putting aside the guilt element is another on the essentials list.

Childcare is expensive but once you're in the middle of it it's not as bad as you think. I'd rather make a loss some months than not work, you just have to make sure you like your job.

We manage because DH's work is more flexible than yours sounds so we share it a bit.

It is hard. Childminding is an option, your own DC count towards your ratios I think, although if they are school age it's less of an issue as the ratios are stricter for younger children.

WRT flexible working and zero hours, that can work in your favour provided you have a manager/person writing the rota who is willing to take your circumstances into account.

"Dh is away for work quite a lot and works odd hours"

So an adult in your own household has kids and manages it?

Having kids is a responsibility. It's up to you and your DH to make sure your kids are cared for outside school hours. If your DH takes on none of that responsibility whatsoever, then yes, that is going to seriously limit your options.

Breakfast and after school clubs?

I work 4 days per week and on one of my working days I work school hours. The other 3 days are covered by mil one day and nursery and wraparound the other two.

I WOH 22 hours a week and I spread it across 3 or 4 days. It's academia and so it's flexi-time as long as it's usually the same hours. I can carry over hours so if I work extra I take it back or if I have to deal with a sick DC, I can work extra to make it up later. I also have a lovely understanding boss who appreciates that family always come first! That helps enormously.
My dh also is away quite a bit and works variable hours so can't be relied upon regularly- only in an emergency or with a lot of advance notice (although he does his bit when possible!). So I don't really have a choice. Would be a million times easier if we had some family locally.

We have always paid for childcare. We've done years of one of us not being able to leave for work until 8 and then the other having to get home to pick up by 5 type juggling.
We've both always worked, so not taken several years out of work. Often, this means that the level of responsibility and salary means that it's slightly easier than if you are starting afresh.

We don't have grandparents close by, so we have an au pair. This obviously depends on having a spare room.

She only works one full day when our youngest isn't at Kindy; other than that, she's basically just there to provide the wrap-around care.

It is tricky. I remember someone say to me once, that you basically need three adults in a working house-hold. If you only have two, you're run pretty ragged, and it's constantly juggling, missing stuff, and being late for things. :(

I work 4 days a week and my hours are 8am to 4pm (I have an 1.25hr commute). Husband takes son to childminder for 8am and she takes him to school. I collect at about 5.30pm (we pay until 6pm so it gives some flex). Husband gets home at about 7pm. Our son is in Reception and so far we have covered holidays between our holiday (I have a generous holiday allowance), my parents and childminder. But I think husband and I will only really be able to have one week's overlap for family holiday.

But I have only been able to move to 0.8 FTE because I already had the job and a reasonably flexible employer. It would be difficult if I wanted to move employers.

By the way, our childminder has two children of her own who are both at school but they are there before and after school when my son and other mindees are there. I assume it affects her maximum numbers but it seems to work for her. I liked her because it's a home from home environment for my son while he's young. Also the school doesn't like Reception children to go to breakfast and after school club. To be honest the school seems to have very little understanding of families where both parents work even though this is 2015 ...

I don't think you can work if you're still going to take 100% of the parenting responsibilities.

I work from home 90% of the time, so do most of the drops/pick-ups but dh still does them the 10% I'm away travelling for work. And he has to put those dates in his diary and stick to them, if he thinks it'll be too hard to get away from work on time those days he'd have to take holiday instead as I'm hundreds of miles away in another city.

It's very hard, and I'm very tired.

And totally agree with skylark - your DH needs to recognise your needs as much as his own, if you want this to work.

You can achieve it by not leaving the work force and working your way up.

We have one in nursery and one in wraparound care at school.

Dh and I work full time. He does drop off/pick up for dd and I do it for ds.

We work as a team.

And I'm a lone parent who works full time so while it is hard it absolutely can be done.

It is hard OP, when ours are poorly we have a quick chat and work out who is the most expendable and that person leaves. It is a bit easier now we have a nanny but I left my 20 month old in A&E with a broken leg when DH arrived to start a night shift in the same hospital.

We have had to be very blunt with work and explain that when we have to leave we HAVE to leave, we are as entitled to parental leave as anyone else and potentially that may mean cancelled flights, cancelled clinic appointments whatever.

You do need to have a DH who will pick up 50% though, he needs to be able and willing to do as much of the collection drop offs, sick days, housework as you. Is this likely?

It is hard. Dh has finally managed to negotiate flexible working on 2 days per week, although he still has to travel away quite a lot and flexible working is not much use if he is 300 miles away from home. A part time nanny is unaffordable and our children both do a lot of activities in the week so after school clubs aren't helpful. I'm currently working freelance but my earnings are next to nothing, I spend most time on marketing and being creative and very little on actually working for clients .

If I had my time again I would either have made sure I had a really well paid job and could afford a nanny or I would have moved to a cheaper area of the country where having one parent at home would have been affordable.