to ask how on earth you manage to work when you have kids?

[whyareallthegoodnicknamestaken]

Currently just having a look at whats out there in terms of work as i have taken time out to have dc's so have been a SAHM for the past 6 years.
Everyone wants flexible working hours, zero hours contracts, People willing to work weekends..
Dh is away for work quite a lot and works odd hours, I have no one to drop off or pick up dc's from school. Paying for breakfast club and after school club every day isn't cheap..
How on earth do people juggle it? Genuine question. I have no idea how I'm ever going to b a able to get a job.

I'm a childminder, which works well for me. Most, if not all, childminders round here do school pick ups and drop offs.

I have several single parent clients with demanding careers/commutes. I also have friends and clients who stagger their working days so one can drop off and the other pickup - obviously not much help for OP if her OH is away for months.

We couldn't make it work. DH's shift pattern plus my long commute meant we couldn't find any childcare to cover the hours we needed (7am-6.30pm). Couldn't afford a nanny. Gave up work.

Hi OP,

Watching this thread with interest. We have a 2.5 year old DD and no family who live nearby.

We both work in medical professions, DH worked 80 hours last week (hospital doctor) in a mix of shifts. I work 0.7 in our local hospital (20 mins from home), doing a mix of weekday and weekend.

In all honesty I am at the moment contemplating giving up work entirely, after childcare we have £100 of my wage left (lots better than some out there for which I am very grateful but I am wondering if it's really worth it)

It's incredibly stressful when DH is working a long day or night shift, we often don't see each other for days on end. If our childminder is sick it's a total nightmare, neither of us really have jobs which we can just drop.

Last week DD had a stomach bug so I had to take 3 days off to cover it. My employer isn't happy but what can you do?! I'm not going to put other kids at risk by dumping her on the childminder when she isn't well.

I panic about what we will do when she's at home as we both start work well before 8.45am and finish after 5pm. The holy grail would be for me to find a Monday to Friday job which was 9am until 5pm- oh with minimal travel too! But it's so competitive to get these jobs and I worry about losing my financial independence.

DH is great and does his share of picking up and dropping off but he always gets home late so it impacts on the bedtime routines.

I mean school not home lol...not abandoning the toddler...honest!!

We spend £1600 a month on childcare. And live right by nursery and school and only 15 minutes from work each, so no commuting time.

We can only make it work because we have good help from family and friends, and a great childminder that we use two days a week. It is still tough and constantly feels like juggling. Some jobs are more flexible than others, also don't rule out a casual job. I have a contract with the local health trust for band 2 healthcare assistant and I just work when I can. I am also a full time student on a health care course, as I am changing career. My previous civil service job was great due to flexi time. Also don't be afraid to ask around in local shops, a few of the mums at school work in shops in our town and seem to be able to get flexible enough arrangements to enable them to still do school runs.

Organisation & creative thinking.

Before the start of each school year, we sit down & plot out the school holidays & inset days and work out who is going to take leave to accomidate. We know in advance there is one week in the summer neither if us can cover so we plan for this. One time MIL came to stay. We'll use a summer club for that week maybe. Whatever. It is identified and planned for months in advance.

We also go through the school's termly calendar when it is published, putting carol services, sports day etc into our diaries ensuring one of us can go.

Other working parents are a godsend and know exactly where you're coming from and will help out in a pinch. Don't abuse this though & make sure it works both ways. You might find a working parent is happy to enter into a long term reciprocal agreement where you split drop offs/pick ups.

I have an informal agreement with my boss that I don't reclaim the hours for the evenings I work late. I'm also studying for a course in my own time rather than taking study leave. If something urgent crops up I'll be flexible and maybe work at home in the evening. The pay off is I leave in time for school pick up every day. This is easier as I am not in a "front of house" role or one with a static timetable - consider this when thinking about where to work.

From today we re doing:-

Me: 7am -5pm dh: 5.45 -12 midnight
All weekdays with him having 1 night off, me doing 2 days working from home.

Sat/sun: dh working 5pm -3am

No childcare needed right now.

everstrong my DH is a hospital doctor too. We tried a year of us both working but unfortunately I had a 1.5 hr commute that made it impossible along with his hours. Now I work part time with a zero hours contract during school term time. I've given up the idea of me having a career until DH has finished specialist training...

DH negotiated his hours so he can do the pick up from after school club on the days I work. I do the breakfast club run.
He has a longer commute, so occasionally if he stuck in traffic he asks me to do the pick up.
This only works as he can do longer days on the days I don't work.

No before and after school clubs here (small village school).

Thankfully we have been in our jobs a few years and they are flexible with us. DH has one day of a week, I work from home 2 days a week. The other two days one of us drops off and goes to work late and the GPs pick up those days. If I have to work/travel on my work from home days I ask friends and GPs to help. It does get complicated!

School holidays: GPs, Friends and split holiday.

It does work though but you just have to be organised and have a boss that values you enough so they allow you the felxibility.

I have my own business at home so fit it in around children.

I could have written your post op.
I am looking too after 6 years as a sahm.
I have done OU courses and voluntary work in that time but as you say, employers expect you to a accept a zero hours contract and to be very flexible (I.e. If I phone I expect you to come in)
My Dh works away and this month he is away 3 times.
I have 2 school age dc and a frail mother.
What are you supposed to do?
I have considered looking into cm but I would only want to do after before and after school care and I dont know if there is a a call for that.

You take the financial hit of paying for childcare, in the knowledge there will come a time when you don't need childcare any more, at which point you'll hopefully be in a secure job with prospects. Short term pain for long term gain.

It's tough though, there's no denying it.

I work three full days and two half days, the half days are at home.

My twins start school in September and I will do:

Mon & Tue 10-6.30 so I will drop off on those days, mil will pick up
Wed - 8.30-5 - my mum will drop off and DH will leave early to collect
Thur & Fri - still work from home so I can do drop off and collection

The school they are hopefully going to go to has no wraparound care provision and we are very very lucky to have family help.

I don't think I would be able to go into a new role and work these hours, I am lucky where I am now.

Yy to the most complicated schedules known to man. Woe betide dh or I if we forget what day it is!

I returned to my job after ML following both DC and so have the luxury of flexible working (work school hours 930-230 and work from home whenever I need)

my DH has a job with hours that mean that I do all drop off/pick ups etc. I use a Nursery three days and a Nanny two days. Its stressfull as I have to travel for work so its a race against the clock to get back in time for pick up quite a lot.

I had to return to work full time as my job isn't available part time, at the moment we can afford the childcare but it has seriously impacted on our financial situation. I would love to work only part time.

What did you do for work before having children?

Village here too.
No wrap around care.
My mum and pils are very good, but they are in their 70s now.

Reading these posts it's seems the people who make it work best either worked at the company pre kids so have been able to negotiate flexible hours, have family for childcare etc
Has anyone actually found a low paid job (as opposed to a career job that they are qualified for) with suitable hours? Jobs in schools are rarer than hens teeth unless you train to be a TA which takes money I dont have.

everstrong I'm I'm a very similar situation to you, except we both worked full time (I have just started mat leave). Have you thought about an au pair? They offer the flexibility of looking after a sick child, and more flexibility in terms of hours. It really has worked out well for us.

Village here. Had no wrap around care. About 10 years ago parents banded together to set it up (long before I had dc). Still run by parent volunteers, with paid staff (who are mostly also dinner time assistants and playground supervisors) . Ofsted registered. We rent space from school and collect children from their classrooms. If there is a demand, could a group of parents set something up like this?

Yep, the usual mix of after school clubs and childminder, and an 8.30 abandon DS in the yard and leg it to work 25 minutes away routine.
School holidays are a nightmare. Me and DH take mostly opposite annual leave, holiday clubs and occasional GP help. I'm praying for it not to snow here because if they close the school we're stuffed. Strike days too deplete leave days.