to ask how on earth you manage to work when you have kids?

[whyareallthegoodnicknamestaken]

Currently just having a look at whats out there in terms of work as i have taken time out to have dc's so have been a SAHM for the past 6 years.
Everyone wants flexible working hours, zero hours contracts, People willing to work weekends..
Dh is away for work quite a lot and works odd hours, I have no one to drop off or pick up dc's from school. Paying for breakfast club and after school club every day isn't cheap..
How on earth do people juggle it? Genuine question. I have no idea how I'm ever going to b a able to get a job.

I work from home, I'm a seamstress so all my work fits in around school hours.

Although I specialise in bridal alterations so needless to say the 7 week summer holidays when most brides get wed are a real juggle!

I have to be incredibly organised with my work schedule so hubby has to pull his share of parental responsibilities. Thankfully DS has a granny who loves spending time with him and his cousins.

It sometimes means I'm sewing beads on till midnight, but I'm always there at the school gate which is lovely to see his little face when he trots out of school.

i work 21 hours over 3 days and commute an hour each way. I drop off at nursery at 8.30, and work 9.45-5.15. hubby works full time 7.30-4 and picks lo up at 5 after walking the dog. it's really tight. no margin for error. ds only just turned 1... not sure what we'll do when he goes to school.

i work 21 hours over 3 days and commute an hour each way. I drop off at nursery at 8.30, and work 9.45-5.15. hubby works full time 7.30-4 and picks lo up at 5 after walking the dog. it's really tight. no margin for error. ds only just turned 1... not sure what we'll do when he goes to school.

DH also not around to help, neither are families really. I waited until I had an idea of what I could do from home, mainly as I wanted to see the children more than a 'proper' job would allow. It is hard to stay motivated and not having work mates, but I get to do some parenting, which is good.

Become an academic. You get all the fun and flexibility of entrepreneurship with the bonus of a monthly salary and no need to dress up for work.

PS In a good week I can spend four days working and teaching online in my PJs

I've just gone pt (three days) after two years of stressful ft. Dh works 7-3 so does the pick ups. I start at. 9.05 or whenever I get in and take the extra out of my lunch.

Someone said upthread that they and their DH were earning a lot less when they had dc, and therefore there was no option but to both work, and that in retrospect she's very glad because it saved her any angst over making a decision.

That resonates hugely with me. We were on far lower salaries when our dc were born, and this was also back in the day of sky high mortgage rates and no tax credits,
So basically, if one income didn't cover the bills, there was no choice but for both partners to work. 'Working the system' by giving up one job and claiming tax credits wasnt an option.
How glad I am in retrospect too. I suspect I might have wanted to return anyway, as I had a good job which I enjoyed, but I'll never 100% know what I'd have done if I'd had the choice.
Now, many years on, DH and I earn loads more and are both on similar incomes: mine took a bit of a hit as I worked part time before the dc were in school, but nothing too major.

I think like with all things, until you do it, you can't imagine how you'll cope. Then when the time comes you realise you can. I expect many of us, when our first baby arrived, looked at them and couldn't imagine getting dressed and out of the door before tea time! It just seems so overwhelming. Yet when our dc1 was 12 weeks I was back at work 3 days a week. Then when you get into a routine with one child, you can't imagine coping with two- but of course you do. I'm not saying its easy... Our toughest point was three dc under 5; logistically quite demanding to get them off to childcare, and financially wiped out the equivalent of one salary for a while, no family nearby either to call on in the event of illness either. But if you are determined you'll look solutions wherever possible

I'm a single parent to a reception age child & just turned 3 year old.
I worked full time an hours commute away up until the beginning of jan & now I do 4 days a week with 1 of those days from home.
Youngest in nursery 3 days eldest at school breakfast club in the morning x3 days & after school club 1 day. I pick her up normal time on my work from home day and my day off.
Their dad has them over night 1 day a week (week day) so does the nursery/school pick up and drop off x2 days a week.
Doesn't have them weekends (his choice).
It's hard but can be done. A diary & an organised routine is a must!

I work 4 days in a client facing job in the City and the kids go to a childminder from 8 am and i pick them up at 6 pm. Childminder does the school run with DS and looks after DD all day.
Doesn't come cheap though.. About £1400 per month (London).
I do both, drop-off and pick-up from the cm.

Lone parent.

I worked 20 hours a week minimum wage in an office.

Breakfast Club was based at school and was about £2 a child from 7.50am

After School Club also based at school, more expensive worked out about £6 per child from school finish time up to 5 or 6pm.

School holidays they went to local kid's club. Very expensive from £28 per child per day. I had to get a daily taxi there to drop them off as it was too far to walk then get to work on time.

Child Element of Working Tax Credit gave me an extra £so much a week or so across the course of the year to pay for childcare above.

But if you don't have savings to begin with when you start work, you can't fund those lump sums required to pay in advance for childcare. For example, I started work in January and a month later it was February Half Term. I had to find around £200 upfront to pay in advance for that childcare. Luckily I had savings,but that's a rare thing for lone parents going from income support back to work.

I was hundreds of pounds better off working than staying on the dole, but without tax credits topping up my wages, I'd have been worse off.

Working full time will bankrupt me as a lone parent. It's not doable on my wage level.
I'm still wondering what I'm supposed to do when my eldest is 11 and is no longer eligible for kids school holiday clubs. I can't leave an 11 year old home all day alone!

Reading posts about couples who struggle when one's a stay at home parent and the other works full time makes me think it's never going to be easy whether I'm a lone parent or joint.

I work freelance. If you have experience you could use to start up by yourself it's worth considering - has it's drawbacks like anything, and I still need childcare, but I can work my own hours which really helps

If your dh works away a lot, and you don't want to use wrap around care. Then you need a job in a school or do child minding. Not many other jobs where you can do it.

When dd was small and I went back to work she went in nursery 3 days a week. When she was at school I had to opt for pretty rubbish shifts. Dh couldn't change his. My job (call centre) gave a list of shifts that you could pick from. I opted for full time over 4 days. I started at 10am so could do morning drop off. I finished at 8pm. But dh started at 7am so he could pick her up.

Now we are both self employed and work from home. It's so much eaiser now. It does mean that sometimes I am working late at night when they are asleep, but it's a lot less stressful overall.

As an aside, why are some posters assuming the dh isn't pulling his weight?

I clearly recall this thread from back in February.

I found the same difficulty as the OP, and was unable to work at all whilst my children were in primary school (hours didn't suit, nor did holidays, couldn't afford wraparound childcare, the list goes on).

When you have very young children people always talk about how it will be so much easier for you to get back to work when they start school. Errrm, no! It isn't. Not unless you work in a school, and jobs like that are like gold dust around here.

There are still far too few employers who are flexible enough. We need a lot more term time only contracts, with the facility to work from home when necessary. Working from home is a much more realistic proposition now with the explosion of the internet, broadband and wifi than it ever used to be. I know. I work now and can work from home if necessary, but it took me years to find anything and my youngest is now 13.

OP has always had my sympathy here. In fact, it really irritates me to think that there must be a large amount of wasted talent at the school gates. Women (and sometimes men) who have a lot to offer to a workplace and who would like to work, but who can't for reasons to do with childcare, school hours, school holidays etc. When I was a SAHM I knew a lot of them. We have almost all now drifted back into some paid employment now that our kids are of secondary school age and can virtually look after themselves. It was hard though. Very hard, disillusioning and demoralising too.

Keep pegging away OP and others like her. The job market is improving somewhat now I think, so something might come along when you least expect it.

I work 25 hours a week in 2 long shifts days or nights. My DH works 50-60 hours a week in 4 long days. We have to juggle DD between us

I agreetopseyt. Unless you are able to get some casual work whilst dcs are in school (I did cleaning and shopwork) I think it's pretty much impossible unless you are already in a job and able to negotiate.

I wish I'd realised how hard it would be.

Yes agree, it's really difficult and it does seem to fall on the women a lot whilst men swan off back to their normal lives (not always but often.)

Anyway I do admin 10-3 monday to Friday then I also top up with three evenings 6-10 in a supermarket. It works until the holidays when it then becomes a major headache. I just dream of being able to work full time but right now with primary age children and a dog to consider it's not possible or cost effective

I work in an office 930 to 3 so just enough time to do school run. DH works full time and long hours plus we have no family living locally so we have no one to rely on and it's all down to me. I do miss the full time salary but if I had to pay for before & after school childcare it would pretty much wipe out the benefits of working full time so that's on hold for now.
I think many smaller firms are often willing to be more flexible for the right person. There are a few mums in my office and we just make it work. My boss days he thinks part time mums are better workers and more productive as they can't stay late or spend all day on FB or MN and then catch up later

I started my own business which is based at home. So I do all drop offs/pick ups and kids are home with me while I work in holidays or if they are ill.

I'm a single parent with no family and an unreliable ex. It all falls on me.

Ha to it being easier being a single Mum as you don't have to iron shirts! Ha bloody ha!

I'm not sure how I would manage either.

My DH works away, long hours, short notice and weekends. It's bad enough as a SAHM.

But when I have to go back to work, yes the DC are a joint responsibility, but how can he actually help?

Hes a brilliant husband, but I'm so worried that he'll just automatically see his job as "more important", as I haven't really worked in our whole relationship.

I was meant togo back to working at home for my online shop buuuuuuut my DS is a super high energy 2 year old that won't even let me use the bathroom without trying to drag me off the toilet, so "distracting" him with toys or whatever whilst I try and work is NOT POSSIBLE sigh! I am so mentally and physically exhausted looking after him and my DD that I've given up hope of having my beloved work back until he's in school, as can't afford childcare right now.

We have a really good child minder, she does drop offs and pick ups..

All for the princely sum of £335 a week...

Roses you will get some free education when he turns 3.

We have a (part-time) housekeeper/nanny. Also, although he works very long hours, my husband is self-employed and often works from home so he can be on hand in an emergency (this is a relief as I am never available). In-laws live very close but are not used for childcare unless arranged in advance.

Really really without wishing to patronise at all, having two working parents is expensive so your job needs to recompense all of the childcare, etc. expenditures. I have quite a few friends who feel it is cheaper/equally profitable to stay at home. However, money isn't everything, many parents enjoy their jobs and are entitled to do them.

breakfast club and after school club/babysitter for DC1. Nursery and babysitter for DC2. I do 4 days and 90% of drop offs and pick ups. DP usually works from home on a Friday or will get home at lunchtime so he sometimes does pick up then.