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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wish that MIL would just fuck off and when she gets there, fuck off a little bit more

174 replies

Fleetfoxes · 30/01/2015 08:46

I really am at the end of my tether with MIL!! She's so controlling. I've just had the mother of all rows with her due to my washing being out on the washing line for, shock horror, two whole days (due to a busy working life). What has it got to do with her anyway??

She was rooting through our bins the other day to make sure that we were putting all recyclable items in the right bin and completely went off her tits because we had discarded some pizza crusts which is "terrible waste" and we should've eaten them.

She had another ther go because, apparently, DD (20 months) never gets to go outside. She goes outside for a relevant amount of time depending on when I'm not at work and if she's well enough (she's had numerous chest infections and pneumonia last month so no, maybe I don't want her outside all day every fucking day when it's struggling to get above freezing)

She happily chews my lug off but when it comes to her youngest DD (favourite) ohhhhhhh well she can do no wrong. Despite the fact her kids were sat inside all day, everyday on an Xbox through out the glorious spring and summer that we had last year whilst my DD only went inside when it was time to go to bed. She's just said to me "you should take a leaf out of Emma's (N/C) book, her kids get plenty of fresh air". Pffffftttt they must download it then!!

She has a real issue with my DM, accuses her of being lazy and not working (she was a HCA for 20+ years and has recently had to give up due to ill health, momentarily she works in a tea garden). My mum looks very good for her age and in the summer wears, can you believe it, SHORTS! Now, nobody else has a problem with this but MIL thinks it DISCUSTING! Her fashion police radar is going off the fecking wall. She never shuts up about my DM being all fur coat and no knickers (entirely untrue) and has told me that I shouldnt be letting DD spend too much time with her as she's impressionable and last week she was (DD 20 months) stood in MILs doorway dancing, "ugh look at her stood there dancing like that, you're going to be just like your granny" FFS it's what toddlers do you old battle axe. Fucking hell you've bought up 4 kids and lived to see 7 grandchildren grow up through the toddling years have you not learnt anything ?!

She lives just up the street from us and our freezer is on the blink so we are using Hers. I bought all of my freezable items earlier on in the week and most of the meat was from lidl. She has since been through the freezer, rang DP and told him that I should be ashamed of myself buying meat from lidl as I come from a farming family and should be supporting local businesses (which I do as often as I can, when I can afford it but I'm not going to starve my family For the sake of pride)

DP always stands up for me and has told me that she's had control of *Emma and thinks she can do it to everyone else too.

WWYD? Are all MILs like this to some extent?? Am I just being hypersensitive.

OP posts:
EmmaJacksonHarley · 01/02/2015 08:44

OMG the woman sounds batshit, who does she think she is coming into your house and trying to dictate what you do with your time? You were restrained IMO

ExitPursuedByABear · 01/02/2015 08:46

I played out all day in the 60s. And I live in Saddleworth Shock

pictish · 01/02/2015 08:50

That business with the shower is terrible, her putting the tap on to chase you out of it.
I'd have gone loopy too.

Mynewnamenotyours · 01/02/2015 08:51

What did DH say when you told him?

happyhats · 01/02/2015 09:03

Yikes. I've got my own mil issues but yours sound pretty extreme. Some great advice I got on here was about resetting your boundaries and calling her out on unreasonable behaviour. No key to your house. No comments about other people. It will take a while but I've managed to maintain some boundaries with my own previously very difficult mil. She's still hard work but Its better than it was.Good luck!

nunkspugget · 01/02/2015 09:27

Its sinister that she chose to try and hurt you, rather than a brief chill of cold water.

ChinaTeaSet · 01/02/2015 09:30

So what did your husband say when you told him about the shower incident?

Fleetfoxes · 01/02/2015 10:11

I told him and straight away he asked if DD was in with me and he seemed relieved when I said no bet still very angry nevertheless.

He went straight up aNd told her that she needs to stop interfering in every aspect of our lives. He's told her that now she is only allowed round to the house if we invite her we bloody well won't

She was spouting out some complete and utter irrelevant shit about DD being born 10 days late because I was lazy Hmm and having a long labour because I was "sat on my arse for the last two weeks" (my labour lasted 5 hours and 10 minutes pushing!!)

What does that have to do with anything anyway?

OP posts:
Mynewnamenotyours · 01/02/2015 10:13

She is clearly a very bitter woman. You have more support from your DH than a lot of people have but I still don't envy you.

Good luck.

pictish · 01/02/2015 10:17

She was spouting out some complete and utter irrelevant shit about DD being born 10 days late because I was lazy Hmm and having a long labour because I was "sat on my arse for the last two weeks" (my labour lasted 5 hours and 10 minutes pushing!!)

Um...ok she is bonkers, and extremely bitter.

Fleetfoxes · 01/02/2015 10:19

Yes I know I'm very, very lucky to have such a supportive partner! It does make it easier.

I don't know why she's taken a disliking to me I've never done anything to upset her unless she's provoked me for instance yesterday. Ooohhhhhh evil old witch

OP posts:
Spadequeen · 01/02/2015 10:23

Would go nc with her immediately, I would also not allow her access to my children as of right now. And I would also tell dh he either supports you or he moves back in with his mum

ems1910 · 01/02/2015 10:24

I didn't even think about what if dd had been in there too, how horrific :(

So glad he defends you! What an absolutely batshit crazy woman.

Fleetfoxes · 01/02/2015 10:24

pictish she had SIL and her GD round and was telling them both how I was going to have a long and difficult labour. I think she was disappointed when I told her that I was very lucky to have a reasonably short labour with no complications and a lovely 8lb 13oz baby girl at the end of it.

OP posts:
ems1910 · 01/02/2015 10:25

Spadequeen, I'm confused by your post, why do you not think he is supportive?

pictish · 01/02/2015 10:28

He sounds on the ball to me Spadequeen.

ems1910 · 01/02/2015 10:32

I would go nc immediately ancertainly no access to the children. What a poisonous woman. I thought I had mil issues but nothing compared to this. You poor thing :(

pissedglitter · 01/02/2015 11:20

Read this with my jaw on the floor Shock
Every time she speaks like that/roots through the bins etc open the door and tell her to fuck off

Gruntfuttock · 01/02/2015 11:25

Sorry, OP, but I'm confused. I thought your DP had gone out to work this morning, so how was he able to go straight round to her to complain?

Fleetfoxes · 01/02/2015 11:34

The shower incident was yesterday grunt he went straight round when I told him what had happened yesterday when he arrived home from work

OP posts:
Gruntfuttock · 01/02/2015 11:40

Oh sorry, OP. I should've been paying attention to the dates on your posts. I might feel a bit silly now Blush

Silvercatowner · 01/02/2015 11:48

Your deeply distasteful comment that she 'needs a shag' does make me wonder about MiLs 'take' on all this.

lemisscared · 01/02/2015 12:36

Oh i don't know, a bit of cock might losen the old bag up a bit!

LittleBearPad · 01/02/2015 12:48

She's a horror clearly. Change the locks to Yale ones so DP can't forget to lock up.

pissedglitter · 01/02/2015 13:44

I don't get the need to lock doors if your home
I only lock ours if we are out or in bed