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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my friend has moved to fast

251 replies

AnotherManicMonday · 28/01/2015 16:05

I have a friend who is also my neighbour I've known her for 2 years and both have DDs that are the same age. We're both single parents but over he last year I have met my now DP.

We're quite open with each other and chat a lot and let the DDs play together. She recently started online dating because she knew it would be difficult to meet anyone in RL. I completely support her if that's what she wanted offered to babysit her DD and do nursery runs ect if she ever needed me too.

Recently she started speaking to a guy online, they've never spoke before so after a week she agreed to meet him and they did she seemed really happy after and it was great to see her so cheery with a smile on her face.she told me she wanted to see him again but would be difficult with her DD I said I'd babysit and she was happy.

2 days after there first date she decided to invite him round her house with her DD there, he stayed over and has been there for the last 5 days with her and her DD. Over the last two days I've heard him shouting and swearing at her DD and now she does the same. This morning I heard him shouting and swearing at the DDS and she was crying then 5 minutes later him telling her DD he loves her and she wouldn't say it back after my friend was prompting her she lost her temper and shouted "say I fucking love you too now"

I feel so bad for my friends little girl having this strange man come into her life when my friend doesn't really no him and to have a strange man shouting and swearing at her Sad Is there anything I can do to help her? She's a beautiful little girl and I'm worried for her

OP posts:
morgyworgy · 29/01/2015 22:06

If you do nothing then you're as bad as them op.

Aeroflotgirl · 29/01/2015 22:06

I agree Rino, op has a duty to act on the information she has and prevent another Baby P scenario.

andsmile · 29/01/2015 22:17

you know what, so fuck if your car gets damaged so what.

Make the call.

Balletballyflats · 29/01/2015 22:18

OP please please be BRAVE and call. Call NSPCC or SS. Just do it.

EdSheeran · 29/01/2015 22:23

By not reporting, you are complicit in the abuse this little girl is experiencing. When something tragic happens, all these concerned people pop out of the woodwork and state they knew something was wrong, yet they never report.

GokTwo · 29/01/2015 22:24

Op, I know you feel scared but you know you have to do this. You have heard enough and now you can see that they are behaving suspiciously.

Rinoachicken · 29/01/2015 22:31

Actually, lying in bed right now myself, knowing that little girl is right now having to share a bed with a strange man and her mum who used to love her but has now turned on her...she must feel so alone and frightened...I'm actually almost in tears thinking about it.

Sorry OP but FFS MAKE THE DAMN CALL

ThePrincessBride · 29/01/2015 22:47

OP hasn't came back on?

PatMullins · 29/01/2015 22:54

Please OP, this isn't right Sad

slightlyworriednc · 29/01/2015 22:55

I don't think berating the op will help.

OP, I had to report a neighbour for violence once. It was fucking scary. I jumped every time I heard a noise for a while, fearing repercussions. There were none. If anything, they'll be terrified of kicking off and looking even less reasonable to the police etc. Your friend, if she's a decent person underneath, will get the kick up the arse she needs to get rid of this bastard. And it will all be over.
Please do the right thing. It isn't easy, but there's a helpless child involved.

slightlyworriednc · 29/01/2015 22:56

And I just wanted to echo another poster....i doubt the little girl's relatives will turn on you. They'll turn on HIM.

ThePrincessBride · 29/01/2015 23:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ByeByeButterfly · 29/01/2015 23:18

Op I know this is difficult but if this was a relative of yours wouldn't you want her friend to help out?

As pp have said if reprecussions call the police. Again and again.

I hope you are ok.

But seriously phone - you won't feel your D's is safe when he's around anyway.

Be strong.

ThePrincessBride · 29/01/2015 23:27

I have reported this post to MNHQ.

BlueBrightBlue · 29/01/2015 23:27

I am certain the are on the SS's radar. Alas they have certain policies and protocols to adhere to, often to the detriment of those who really need their help.
OP, It's late and I haven't read the full post, but I would call the police if I saw or heard anything that suggested children and other vulnerable people were being hurt..

FarFromAnyRoad · 29/01/2015 23:29

I'm glad someone has reported it. I was unsure - still am but I can't sleep for thinking about this. If it's real it's almost a police 999 matter to my way of thinking. I hope it's not real.

ThePrincessBride · 29/01/2015 23:42

farfromanyroad I've not been on MN that long really and I replied to the OP, even sent her a pm asking if she was ok. But there has been so many threads lately started by trolls. I actually cant don't want to believe this is one as where would that be on a scale of sick, wrong and twisted? If this were a regular MNer they would have said they have username changed? This is the first post from the OP? Hmmm. Not sure so reported it.

ThePrincessBride · 29/01/2015 23:51

I've decided to check a username and if its their first post no matter what they say in it I'm not responding to it. Think most ppl will end up doing the same.

natureplantar101 · 29/01/2015 23:56

Should have known it was a fake thread is it half term already Hmm i see my posts were deleted too ill just go give myself a few Biscuit then and a cuppa

Original poster
AnotherManicMonday · 30/01/2015 00:06

This isn't fake

I've reported myself I'm not going to ignore the situation butane not getting flamed for it either

Thanks for all the advice

OP posts:
FightOrFlight · 30/01/2015 00:16

OP I'm sure you can see why people are getting upset about this, sorry if you are feeling flamed.

Of course you need to think of your family but this sounds very serious and after the death of Peter Connelly any worries of this nature need to be reported immediately.

fullsuspension · 30/01/2015 00:32

OP believe me I know more than most how terrifying and life changing SS can be and as a result I am very cautious about suggesting a call to them but I'm afraid on this there is only one way to read the situation. That little girl needs your help and needs you to call SS. Now. She is at risk of genuine harm

Mummytogoldie · 30/01/2015 00:51

Could you not tell your neighbours family, surely they would step in especially her brother if he thought his sister and niece were in danger ?

WannaBe · 30/01/2015 00:53

so what exactly was the purpose of this thread? give all the details of the sleeping arrangements, the swearing, the shouting, the disappearing child only to say that you'll do nothing? Hmm

Given this is a presumed child at risk I wonder whether mn hq can contact the police with the op's IP address so they can track down where she lives and see to the welfare of this child. Given the op has posted quite a lot of detail about it, isn't withholding this kind of information an offence in itself? of course, if the op isn't genuine, the police would be wasting their time, wouldn't they?

KenAdams · 30/01/2015 01:09

Jesus, this was hard to read. That poor girl. Every adult that knows about this has failed her. You included OP. Imagine if something went seriously wrong. Could you live with yourself? They won't automatically know it's you who reported anyway. A passer by could have heard it through the window if it's loud enough for you to hear.

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