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AIBU?

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Original poster

Mixed sex sleepover - 9 year olds

137 replies

MrsGoslingWannabe · 27/01/2015 21:06

DD has been invited to a sleepover which I assumed would be girls only but have since discovered a boy is going to as well. Something makes me uncomfortable about this and I think I may have to cancel. AIBU?

OP posts:
Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 27/01/2015 22:13

Am I the only one who experienced these kind of things at girls only sleep overs? Mind you I was older, probably mid teens, but I deffo had girls try to get up with to all sorts at me at sleepovers, the boys were nowhere near as bad!

usualsuspect333 · 27/01/2015 22:13

I never decided it wasn't ok to have mixed sex sleepovers.

mrsfuzzy · 27/01/2015 22:14

ahbollocks, i think you are talking a load of bollocks tbh - the lad might be gay ?? wtf !! he's 9 fgs, what a stupid comment to make. he might just prefer to hang out with girls, have you considered that ?

DamnBamboo · 27/01/2015 22:15

I won't explain myself again gamora as you don't get it.

For what other reason would any sane person be concerned about the gender of the children at a sleepover whilst pointing out that one is a boy amongst all girls.

That he might force them to play minecraft all night? Or perhaps fart on them? Yeah right.

BMO · 27/01/2015 22:17

They might do kissing and show me yours/show you mine stuff - but they might do that at an all girl sleepover too. I can't see the harm.

Even if a couple of the girls "look older" I don't think they'll be instigating an orgy...

Tzibeleh · 27/01/2015 22:17

I've hosted mixed sleepovers for both my ds and my dd, at ages 9 and 10. I've never had a parent turn down the invitation, or lay any conditions on us. Sometimes some mothers of girls have told their dds to go to the bathroom or to my dd's room to change. Mostly they find their own levels of privacy (the girls and the boys).

I would have no concern about the 'mixedness' of a Y4/5 sleepover.

DamnBamboo · 27/01/2015 22:18

Reread your own posts Gamora!

You are very much sexualising their behaviour.

DramaAlpaca · 27/01/2015 22:19

I would be absolutely fine with this.

gamora · 27/01/2015 22:20

Ok, serious question, did I just move in much more debauched circles that other people? My first boyfriend lost his virginity ages 14 at a house party/sleepover type affair (parents were there, all supervised, but obviously only up to a point). He later said he regretted it, partly because he felt too young, and particularly the setting - everyone there knew what was happening. There was kissing for a dare, and quite a bit of peer pressure to participate, at parties when I was 11 or so. Lots of 'will you kiss my mate' type thing. And lost of dares that went beyond kissing.

At 9, we had platonic friends who were boys, but we also daydreamed and built elaborate fantasies about older boys we saw on walks home from school. None of this did me any harm but I was probably more of an observer, some of my friends regret some of the things they did because they felt too young but others didn't.

But with this as my context: is the idea that thinking 9 year olds at a mixed sleepover might potentially be doing more than talking about minecraft really sexualising children? Are children that much more innocent these days, or do parents just want to think of them that way?

MrsDeVere · 27/01/2015 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZanyMobster · 27/01/2015 22:21

DS1 (almost 9) has 2 close friends who are girls. They sleep over in his room when they stay over. They do get dressed separately from him but one of them he has grown up with and she will have a bath and get changed with DS2 who is 6 and she treats like a little brother but not with DS1. I cannot see the difference between girls and boys at that age TBH.

DamnBamboo · 27/01/2015 22:22

Yes gamora! You are sexualising children and quite frankly, the only appalling attitude on here is yours.

thornyhousewife · 27/01/2015 22:22

I went to a mixed sleepover at this age, and ended up seeing hardcore pyrography for the first time. And this was before smartphones etc.

So no, I wouldn't and it makes me really sad!

Janethegirl · 27/01/2015 22:23

At 9 years old a mixed sleepover is fine. It totally depends on the kids. Even at 13 it's ok as long as you know and trust the kids.....there is likely to be one that'll tell if anything untoward is going on!!

pourmeanotherglass · 27/01/2015 22:24

Maybe I'm naive, but 9 seems very young to me for a mixed age sleepover to be a problem. I might worry if they were 12 or 13.

Hakluyt · 27/01/2015 22:27

I found the he might be gay and they will spend the evening talking about Dolly Parton outrqgeous on so many levels I decided not to rise to it........

AmantesSuntAmentes · 27/01/2015 22:27

gamora has it spot on.

Parents of children (8/9 years) as I grew up, made the mistake of ignorance and naivety. There was studying, comparison and touching and certain amount of discomfort (with the situation) too. Not sexual, only due to their innocence but the fact that it wasn't intended sexually, doesn't make it 'right'.

DamnBamboo · 27/01/2015 22:28

Are children that much more innocent these days, or do parents just want to think of them that way

They are NINE. Repeat NINE YEARS OLD.

usualsuspect333 · 27/01/2015 22:32

I don't think the 9 year olds will be losing their virginity amongst the packets of haribo and cans of coke.

BMO · 27/01/2015 22:36

There's a bit of a leap from a 14 year old losing their virginity to 9 year olds at a sleepover...

Janethegirl · 27/01/2015 22:37

Me neither suspect Grin

Janethegirl · 27/01/2015 22:38

If 14 year olds chose to lose their virginity they'll achieve it with or without a sleep over.

ahbollocks · 27/01/2015 22:41

Whoa now. That was my experience And its certainly not fictional! Rude.

WineWineWine · 27/01/2015 22:41

I can't believe this is even a question - they're nine!!!!

Bowlersarm · 27/01/2015 22:41

Yabu

Pass the smelling salts.

They are 9 years old, ffs. Are you really expecting they are at it like rabbits?

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