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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed at my mother taking my daughter in the bath with her?

149 replies

Emmylou22 · 26/01/2015 16:09

We left our 15 month old daughter with my mum and stepdad for the weekend as we went away for our wedding anniversary. This is the first time I've spent the night away from her. When we picked her up, my mum told me she'd taken her in the bath with her. I found this a little unsettling. I sometimes take a bath with my daughter but feel very strange about someone else (other than my husband of course) doing this.

I have had many issues with my mum in the past so not sure if that's clouding my judgement or if anyone else would feel uncomfortable with this! I often feel like my mother thinks she should be mum to my daughter rather than grandma and to me this just illustrates my point. What do people think?

OP posts:

PtolemysNeedle · 26/01/2015 16:11

I used to jump in the bath with my Gran occasionally when I was a child, I don't see the problem.

If there is one, it's probably because of the issues you had with your mum in the past.

horseygeorgie · 26/01/2015 16:11

Wouldn't bother me tbh.

merrygoround51 · 26/01/2015 16:12

At 15 months I cant see an issue.

PatriciaHolm · 26/01/2015 16:12

I wouldn't have a problem at all. Why do you think you do?

Honeybear30 · 26/01/2015 16:13

Can't see this as a problem. Bath time can be fun and communal within families!

OwlinaTree · 26/01/2015 16:13

I'm not sure why you chose to leave your daughter with your mum if you have so many issues with her. If your mum had taken her swimming would you mind that?

caeleth84 · 26/01/2015 16:13

Yabu I'm afraid. It's just a nice thing to do with her granddaughter, I'm sure they had fun. I don't understand why it should be a problem at all. Though I totally get its a bit weird others have her overnight for the first time since you're used to doing everything with her.

TheFairyCaravan · 26/01/2015 16:13

It wouldn't have bothered me either.

Madamecastafiore · 26/01/2015 16:13

It could be she felt safer bathing with her than trying to do it without bath mat etc.

I'd stab my step monster before allowing her to bathe Dany of my kids though so maybe YANBU.

queentroutoftrouts · 26/01/2015 16:13

Wouldn't bother me it's her grandma.

GlitteryLipgloss · 26/01/2015 16:14

I don't think I would be too keen on the idea either and the fact you have had issue's in the past probably make you feel more un-easy so I don't think YABU.

What other ways does she try and mother her?
Did you say anything about it when you picked her up? Do you think your mother would of got the hint from your facial expression/body language that you wasn't too impressed with it.

MrsTawdry · 26/01/2015 16:14

I agree with Owlina if you have issues with your Mum then you should not leave DD with her.

If you're uncomfortable with them bathing together then that's all that matters really. But I would advise you not to leave her with your Mum in future.

RedRugNoniMouldiesEtc · 26/01/2015 16:15

What are the issues?

ShatnersBassoon · 26/01/2015 16:15

I wouldn't care. But I wouldn't pick a babysitter I have had 'many issues' with. Choose someone less likely to piss you off next time.

morethanpotatoprints · 26/01/2015 16:17

It wouldn't have bothered me neither, but think your past issues may be why you have a problem.

All you can do is either not leave her with your mum, if the issues are too great or set your own ground rules, but really nothing wrong with a bath with granny.

WorraLiberty · 26/01/2015 16:17

Wouldn't bother me at all.

BOFster · 26/01/2015 16:17

I can't see the harm myself, but for the sake of a child-free weekend away, I think I could manage to put any discomfort to one side and count my blessings, tbh.

LeonardWentToTheOffice · 26/01/2015 16:19

I wouldn't mind this - my ds often showered with my mum when he was younger and shared a bed with her when we went on holiday in caravans. He would often jump into the bath with other people if they'd let him - my teenage niece etc. He's 12 now and of course he wouldn't want to do it now but at the time I was fine with it - we often used to share a bath together - until he got too big to fit in with me!

MotherOfInsomniacToddlers · 26/01/2015 16:20

Wouldn't bother me tbh

fluffymouse · 26/01/2015 16:21

It sound fine.

From your op there is a back story though, and you probably shouldn't be leaving your dad with your mum if you have issues with her.

LaurieMarlow · 26/01/2015 16:22

Can't see the issue, sorry.

Iggly · 26/01/2015 16:23

What are the issues with your mum?

magpieginglebells · 26/01/2015 16:24

I can't see the issue. If you are concerned about her caring for your daughter due to issues then you shouldn't leave your daughter with her.

tilliebob · 26/01/2015 16:25

I'm not seeing the problem either, unless there some backstory I've missed.

Lottapianos · 26/01/2015 16:26

This is a highly personal issue OP. As you can see, some people wouldn't be bothered in the slightest by this. That doesn't mean you have no right to feel the way you do. Listen to your gut - its letting you know that something is not quite right about the situation. If you have felt in the past that your mum has overstepped boundaries, then its not surprising that you feel uncomfortable about her getting in the bath with your daughter.

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