To have another rant about friend's wedding

[cathyscarlett]

I posted on here recently about my friend who's getting married in November. I'm a bridesmaid, and the cost is already tipping £1,500 for each of us. She is one of my oldest friends, and she is a really lovely person, but she has become utterly self absorbed and obsessed with her wedding (which she has been planning for the past few years).

I have just received a text from another bridesmaid asking each of the six of us for £45 in order to make a 'bride goody bag' for the night before the wedding, including personalised pyjamas, make up, champagne etc. She has stated that the bride asked her to do this. It's not the cost I mind, I was planning to take champagne for the night before anyway, it's being asked to spend yet more of my money on her wedding.

AIBU to think my friend has a bloody cheek to keep continuously asking us all for more money?

'I'm torn between upsetting her and telling her I'm cancelling the room or just going along with it for the sake of peace and lack of confrontation.'

You have allowed yourself to pander to her for 20+ years to avoid confrontation. And here is the result: she doesn't give a rat's arse about you. The +1 depends on who it is? What a cunt. She will have her production then sprog up and expect you to spend your life fanning her ego and pandering to her demands.

The second you challenge her you are gone. Why? Because she's not a real friend.

She's a pisstaking user. Who the fuck actually demands a 'goody bag' and details what they want in it?

£1500 to avoid confronting this bitch is enough to get you a holiday somewhere wonderful. No stress.

Watched 'Him & Her: the wedding' recently - said to OP that I felt like it had jumped the shark a little bit as no one could ever be as vile and egocentric as Laura was being.

Then I read this thread ...

But yes, a MN +1!

The marryoke videos are just awkward and cringy. Yes, it probably was wacky and fun the 1st time, but for goodness sake. No, you are not a celebrity just because you are getting married.

What are the criteria upon which a potential new '+1' will be judged, then?

I didnt think bridezillas like this realy existed

Id love to know what the hen party involves op ? it must be very extravagant to cost so much.

If she's as bad as the cunt you are describing then you need to read back what you've written and see her for the twat she is and drop her.

Another vote for cancelling the room!

I thought you'd spoken to the bride and explained to her you'd spent enough?
Maybe she's forgotten!

I am up north original. Surely there can't be two women in our area behaving like this?

BMW6 I think it's force of habit.

snice the more sane people there the better. I'd love to take one of you as a +1 just so I have a witness to it all.

She and the groom haven't been sleeping together in rather a long time, so, despite her plans, I may be spared the baby obsession for a while.

The plus 1 thing is utterly beyond the pale when you are shelling out so much. Cheeky fucking cow!!

Op, please for your sanity declare yourself out of bridesmaiding.

lol!!

what a cunt

Cancel the £200 room, hair, make-up and nails, that'll be £350 saved for a start. And buy cheap champagne ffs!

I would also return the shoes and buy cheap ones unless they are gorgeous and likely to be worn many more times.

Cathyscarlett - I would be so tempted to send her an itemised invoice of everything her wedding has cost you, attached to your resignation letter, and a brief explanation of how entitled and grabby it is to expect your bridesmaids to shell out that much for the privilege, and then expect a goody bag of 'STUFF' to open the night before!

She and the groom haven't been sleeping together in rather a long time

What?! Really? Why is she marrying someone she's not even sleeping with? I'm actually starting to feel sorry for her now, it sounds like she's got so caught up in the wedding to distract herself from her shit relationship. Very sad. In your shoes, I'd be tempted to say to her given her circumstances she should think long and hard about marrying this man but I expect it would go unnoticed.

She and the groom haven't been sleeping together in rather a long time

And they are getting married?
I'd save my money, there is a tiny chance it will be cancelled.

OP do yourself favour and either dye your hair green or have a facial tattoo. She's bound to sack you.

I have to ask, why are they not sleeping together and how do you know!

I'd just pull out altogether. This is insane

OP - why on earth would the bride give a flying fox where you choose to spend the night of her wedding?

I'd cancel the room and not tell her - it's none of her bloody business how you choose to spend (or not spend) 200 of your own money.I'd have thought she had other things to think about.

Is the wedding even going to go ahead if she and the groom are no longer doing the deed - do spill the beans on that one....

I can hardly bear this Op. You're spending all this money for a quiet life? And you know you're going to have a crap time and the bride will decide to fall out with you at some point don't you? Drop out now, quoting the cost item by item, and get as much cancelled or refunded as you can. Then go and have a nice holiday maybe.

You could buy her a book of wedding etiquette for her goody bag - that would be worth the expense, but sadly would reach her too late.

'BMW6 I think it's force of habit.'

It's an expensive and damaging habit.