To have another rant about friend's wedding

[cathyscarlett]

I posted on here recently about my friend who's getting married in November. I'm a bridesmaid, and the cost is already tipping £1,500 for each of us. She is one of my oldest friends, and she is a really lovely person, but she has become utterly self absorbed and obsessed with her wedding (which she has been planning for the past few years).

I have just received a text from another bridesmaid asking each of the six of us for £45 in order to make a 'bride goody bag' for the night before the wedding, including personalised pyjamas, make up, champagne etc. She has stated that the bride asked her to do this. It's not the cost I mind, I was planning to take champagne for the night before anyway, it's being asked to spend yet more of my money on her wedding.

AIBU to think my friend has a bloody cheek to keep continuously asking us all for more money?

She should text back 'never give in order to receive'

When I got married my mum told me to remember that they were my guests and I should feel honoured that they were choosing to celebrate the day with me NOT the other way round. Venue, food, dress code etc were all chosen with the guests in mind.

I've just read all this through not knowing whether to laugh or cry!

It's awful.

Although - sorry Cathy frankly you need a kick up the bloody backside. You don't even like her! Why did it take you to page 10 to cancel a £200 local hotel?!!!

The bit that has me most though... The Love Actually signs... I thought you meant she'd said "that scene was so lovely, wouldn't it be so amazing if your partner did that?!" in an idle chit chat way.

She actually expects you to arrange it?!!!!

You need to tell the groom he's supposed to do it. Because it might just be the final straw that makes him run.

That's actually crazy.

I just don't get why you're doing this. As I said, joking aside, you don't even like her.

Bloody hell!

I paid for my bridesmaids dresses and they offered to pay for their shoes.

My whole wedding cost 2k.

I am just place marking really.

This is just
I do love a good bridezilla thread though

God I love a bridezilla thread.

I got married 2 years ago and pulled none of this shit, I totally missed a trick!

wow this thread makes me glad I have never been a bridesmaid.
and my wedding was low key and well I had a brilliant hen night and local pub.

wow op good luck

I'm really glad you've cancelled the room. Please don't pay for anything else. What a drama! God knows what she will be like if something doesn't go to plan on the day...such is life!

YADNBU - wow, why exactly are you friends with her? Can you talk to her? If you are close enough to be a bridesmaid are you not close enough to tell her she is being a complete twonk about the whole thing? Better to have the falling out now than after you've spent the rest of the £1400!

unbelievable sense of entitlement from bride, goody bag !!!.

put your purse away

Cabrinha I do like her, for all her faults. I don't particular like this side of her though.

My clearly much more assertive friend (sensible bridesmaid) has replied to the bride saying that she stands by what she said with regards to not contributing to a bride goody bag, that it has cost us a lot of money already and that we were already intending on buying her a nice wedding gift, but people don't need to go overboard with gift buying. She finishes by telling the bride that gifts and money should not be the focus of everything.

I bet she'll be sacked as a bridesmaid, the lucky cow.

Can you send a text saying 'ditto'!

Every update makes me more and more relieved that I am not this woman's bridesmaid...

She's an utter cunt. £1500???? That's absolute insanity.

Cheeky bint!

But what happens if no one gasps?!

OP, definitely cancel the room - plead sickness if you have to and get a lift home - just don't tell her if you don't want to.

And think about not getting an actual wedding present. Or something very token. Homemade?! You put your love into it and that's the main thing, right?! And then add 'And of course, after already spending over £1400 on your day, I didn't have much spare, I'm afraid...'

And ebay the shoes!

Good on her Cathyscarlet, you need to be more like that. Yes with any luck she might sack you. If there is anymore mention of money, I would cut my losses and pull out, unless you have a bottomless money bank.

You bridesmaids really don't have to justify yourselves. Just say "I can't afford it". That's what I'd do. DW and I (we're both women) only spent about £1800 on our own wedding so there's no way on earth I'd spend that amount on someone elses!

Here's a song for her marryoke:
'Don't marry her, fuck me' by the Beautiful South.

Those texts would be enough for me to call it quits to be honest Op. I agree with others who are saying don't buy a bloody wedding present on top of all of this!

Oh, and don't plead sickness or make any excuses for anything. "You're not staying?!" - "No, I'm not, I couldn't afford it".

Is there no chance of sitting her down and telling her how ridiculous she's become?

Whilst she sounds an absolute nightmare, I actually feel sorry for her, I can see the appeal of the love actually scene but to have it pre arranged at her behest takes all the romance & sincerity out of it & I find it hard to believe she can't see that. Is it all about the wedding & not about the marriage beyond? If so God help them both. But the more of this thread I have read the more I am reminded of him & her the wedding.

what a demanding woman.

Amy chance the bride goody bag could be considered your wedding gift to her?