To think that actually 30 isnt the new 20?

[JenPoll01]

Conversation with group of mates this evening at friends' house...

"30 is the new 20, we dont need to worry yet."

We (group of about 10 of us) live in London. Husband and i got married 6 months ago and will shortly move to Bucks where we are buying our first house and will have first baby hopefully soon after. I am 28 and we are all aged between 28-34. We are the only ones to have ever saved. Despite the lowest salary of the group being £45k (we have never previously talked about £ but convo became rather in depth after i said that i was very surprised that noone had any savings whatsoever) and highest being £70k a year.

Apparently we are in the minority? Surely not? They all spend every penny they have on goong out, lavish hols and clothes and have hige credit card debts. We of course go out with them but not to everything (they all go out at least twice mid week too). We love them dearly but i have come away tonight wondering if i am alone in thinking they will regret this complacency eventually?!

I wouldn't say that spending £50 on a midweek meal and holidays are the definition of 'excitement' as opposed to having children which is the definition of 'dull'. £50 would buy you a meal at Prezzo- hardly feel I'm missing out having my DC!

the older you get the happier you are with the 40 are the new 30 crap

I was a bit of a bellend in my twenties, I'm less of a bellend in my thirties.

I think there's no right or wrong path for anyone really. I'm going to be 30 this year. I've spent my 20's just bumming around really and feeling very very lost, can't even say I've done much

OP I hear ya!

FWIW. If you had written a reverse thread about not having a deposit you would have got told to stop frittering money away, move to a smaller place, save up etc.

I think it's unfair to say you are boring and mind your own business. It seems that your friends DO want what you have but are not willing to take responsibility for achieving it.

I was in your shoes a few years ago and 4 years on we are about to move to a larger house. I've had to drop one friend who has little digs all the time about our financial position and tries to make me feel bad about hers. Her finances and life choices are none of my business and vice versa but apparently if conversation does sway that way I have to make her feel better and she tries to make me feel shit. I can't be arsed anymore. I'm not putting up with resentment from a friend just because I could afford to buy at the right time. I could afford to buy when I did because I saved and chose to live with my parents until I was 27. A bit more of a lifestyle sacrifice than giving up the fags IMO but you aren't allowed to say so as you are being smug.

Bauer - not everyone can live with their parents. As well as sometimes not being practical (parents live in one bed flat for eg. or at other end of country/abroad) some parents don't want their kids moving back in.

Maybe it's this sort of unthinking comment from op that her friends don't like

I get that indecisive but i was talking about this particular friend, sorry that wasn't clear.

But people who do save still have 'circumstances' and obstacles they may have to overcome in one way or another and I don't see why only those in more fortunate positions can be accused of unthinking comments, as seems to always be the view.

They probably aren't complete idiots. Saying things like "oh you are so lucky" is probably just making conversation.

Look, if they live in London, and are enjoying their twenties drinking and going out, they might enjoy the IDEA of settling down, but not be ready for it. And there's nothing wrong with that. They might be jealous that you bought your own place, but likewise they themselves might consider living outside of zone 3 to be social suicide. Buying a house in Bucks is a different kettle of fish entirely to buying in London.

If they are earning such good money, then maybe their plan is to travel as much as they can now and really enjoy life, and then start saving hard in the future.

Being vaguely envious of someone's life from afar is very different to actively wishing that your life was the same and being prepared to make sacrifices to get there.