To think that actually 30 isnt the new 20?

[JenPoll01]

Conversation with group of mates this evening at friends' house...

"30 is the new 20, we dont need to worry yet."

We (group of about 10 of us) live in London. Husband and i got married 6 months ago and will shortly move to Bucks where we are buying our first house and will have first baby hopefully soon after. I am 28 and we are all aged between 28-34. We are the only ones to have ever saved. Despite the lowest salary of the group being £45k (we have never previously talked about £ but convo became rather in depth after i said that i was very surprised that noone had any savings whatsoever) and highest being £70k a year.

Apparently we are in the minority? Surely not? They all spend every penny they have on goong out, lavish hols and clothes and have hige credit card debts. We of course go out with them but not to everything (they all go out at least twice mid week too). We love them dearly but i have come away tonight wondering if i am alone in thinking they will regret this complacency eventually?!

...and now I'm worried I've missed a new definition of "exactly", too...

OP yanbu. But I'm thinking more about fertility than savings. I am late 30s trying for DC2 with 2 mc in a row.

DH and l were early 30s when we bought in London having arrived with a backpack each and enough money for about 2 months in a hostel.

30 is not the new 20, we are just acting like teenagers for much longer. You don't sound smug btw, just bewildered by your friends.

Move out and start your family. They will hopefully catch up in time if that's what they want to do.

I can imagine that if you're renting in London on a decent enough salary of £70,000 you probably aren't left with a whole lot to save at the end of each month. So when they think 'hmmmm, I need a £50,000 deposit to buy a flat' they probably feel depressed and follow it with 'bugger it, that's so much money. I think I'll go for a £50 mid week meal to cheer myself up'

I think OPis getting a hard time. It is annoying to be called 'lucky' when you have gone without luxuries, especially when people who earn more than you whinge about being skint when they spend money like its going out of fashion, and turn their noses up at high street clothes for instance.

Buying my first home is important to me, and i don't think its boring at all.

I have friends like this too.

I seem to be in the minority here, but I don't think YABU. I know a lot of people who behave just as you describe - spending money like it's going out of fashion on nice clothes, holidays, cars they don't need etc and then complaining that they have no savings!

DH and I have saved quite a lot by cutting back on 'extras', because buying a house is important to us. When I mentioned to a friend that we were really excited because we had enough for a deposit, she immediately assumed that we'd been given money by our parents .

So I'm probably going to get flamed here as well now, but for what it's worth I completely agree with you .

Wow, stardusty5 we are clearly on the same wavelength!! Great minds and all that

Haha yes exactly!

Well at 23 our mortgage was nearly cleared.

Then it got bigger. And now at 36 it's going to get bigger again.

And we owe the bank a couple of million.

But I already live in Bucks.

If 30 is the new 20, what is 20?

What was the old 20?

Well logically it mean 20 is the new 10, so I guess some folk get another stab at asking for a unicorn for Christmas

I can kind of see your point as £45,000 is a huge amount of money to me but it probably doesn't go that far in London. But then I can see it from their side too, they may think they'll never be able to afford to buy anything so why not spend their money on luxuries? I suppose you could point out to them that having credit card debit isn't going to help with a flat deposit but ultimately it's up to them.

I can see their point about 30 being the new 20, a lot of people delay marriage, getting a mortgage and having children longer than they used to. I fully intend to still be going out clubbing at 30, the thought of settling down that young fills me with horror. I'm well aware that this may reduce my chances of having children but as I'm not sure I want them I'm happy to take that risk. I'm 27 and only have savings because I inherited some money. I'm certainly not thinking about pensions yet - nothing more depressing than thinking about pensions in your 20s. I guess your friends have got their heads stuck in the sand a bit but they'll wake up one day. In the meantime I would just smile and nod.

Yessss!

That's one unicorn for me!

People have different priorities - they are maybe just as bewildered of your life choices as you are of theirs?

FWIW I'm with you OP. Plenty of people think were boring but were happy so we don't care.

Mortgage at 26, baby at 30, in a job for life with a great pension.
DH & I feel were 'sorted' and are very grateful for what we have.

we are

I suppose that the generation before met in their late teens/early twenties, got married and had children aged 22 - 25 so in that respect 30 is the new 20.

Now people often meet in their late 20s, get married and have children aged 32-40+

Another point is that it's so much easier for a couple to save for a deposit than a single person. So give your profligate singletons a break.

Have you ever heard the abbr. ODFOD?

If not, hang around a wee bit.

I did the baby thing at 22 and again at 31, I'm living my life wrong.

If only I'd had a map

I think YANBU and good for you to be honest. I hear this all the time, how it is too hard to get on the property ladder yet the people complaining don't seem to be saving particularly hard

Ignore them and keep going, in years to come you'll be glad you did

Oh dear, I pissed my 20's up a wall, metaphorically speaking, and I had sooooooooo much fun doing it! Ran up debts too but they were worth it.

Now my 30's I've also had loads of fun and just planning our fab wedding this summer that ends with a 3 week US road trip in a mustang that I've worked bloody hard to pay for.

Personally I couldn't give a bugger how people judge my life & my spending habits, they have no clue about my fertility struggles over the last few years and the countless close family members I've lost, that makes me just want to get out there and see life/the world.

And not sit all smug and boring...

DH and me are in our 30s and 40s. Spent decades at unis. Haven't got a spare penny and will not buy anytime soon, despite having DS. As we see it, we will have to work until we die, and might never own a house (unless get a biggish inheritance, which is not at all certain), but at least we like our jobs and have "done" our twenties in a way that suited and felt right. It would be great to feel safe from being turfed out by a landlord at 2 mths notice, and to be able to have a pet or paint a wall, but what can you do. I have to say, though, that we have genuinely been too poor to save for a deposit, apart from when we inherited a bit of money, but had to use all of it for a nanny to help me when DS was a toddler and I was still suffering from bad pnd (no family or friends at hand to help).

I bought young in Bucks - settled, mortgage.

Then I thought nah, fuck this. Left. Back to London. Now having a great time.

See op, it's not too late. You could be like us.

The road to Bucks is paved with good intentions.....