To think that actually 30 isnt the new 20?

[JenPoll01]

Conversation with group of mates this evening at friends' house...

"30 is the new 20, we dont need to worry yet."

We (group of about 10 of us) live in London. Husband and i got married 6 months ago and will shortly move to Bucks where we are buying our first house and will have first baby hopefully soon after. I am 28 and we are all aged between 28-34. We are the only ones to have ever saved. Despite the lowest salary of the group being £45k (we have never previously talked about £ but convo became rather in depth after i said that i was very surprised that noone had any savings whatsoever) and highest being £70k a year.

Apparently we are in the minority? Surely not? They all spend every penny they have on goong out, lavish hols and clothes and have hige credit card debts. We of course go out with them but not to everything (they all go out at least twice mid week too). We love them dearly but i have come away tonight wondering if i am alone in thinking they will regret this complacency eventually?!

Er, by paying £50k a year? I did mention we both earn quite a bit. Couldve had a much bigger mortgage, but id rather pay it all off early, stick to our current house (not a mansion, we live in London so modest homes are £££) and invest elsewhere. Well, that's the plan. Who knows what the future will bring eh?

I had my one and only at 35. I wanted the baby not the man. He's now a strapping gorgeous 17 year old. Was I ready at 20, was I ready at 30? no, probably not. Mind you I was dancing on a table in leather trousers at my 40th? What is age? Ok, there is a certain timescale for a good purpose for a woman due to not being able to run around after them constantly past 50 (believe me I know) Im high energy and do nannying at 52. Thats as far as it goes... well actually I just went and bought a pair of leather trousers again!

Oh sorry you're a stickler for the details faire: £50k a year plus interest! We've sorted the details.

AF: I'm very sorry. I might react exactly the same way, if the same happened to me. Who knows. I'm quite keen to adopt though, always have been. I know it's not an easy route. Again, I'm really sorry about your situation.

In that case Apatite I'm not sure that your circumstances are what OP is talking about. She is saying that some of her friends have 'wasted' their money by having lots of holidays and socialising which has left them short.

You obviously have more money than you need and haven't done that so your first post wasn't really relevant to what OP was saying. However, now that the thread is all about you...

People will do what they want to do with their money. Why do you want them to have the same priorities as you? I look at people with kids and no holidays, big mortgages and no treats and feel a bit sorry for them sometimes. Sure they look at my life full of work and brunches out and think I am shallow. Isn't it just each to their own? If one of my friends tried to police my savings Id be ditching them.

This thread just makes me glad I have never been anywhere near living in London !

Faire if it's ok with you, I'd rather not discuss any more of my financial planning even anonymously. We've sorted things, we are on track, we've made a plan B,C and D.

Does it matter what people spend their disposable income on? Really? what on earth is it any of your business? If the child was in a cot and not being fed and not being taken care of, then its a bloody big issue. Other than that, what on earth are you going on about?

it's ok, Apatite, thanks for your concern

it's sorted now, but it doesn't work out for everyone

I think you know that though

Fairenuff, fair enough! Let's drop my case. I look feckless, but I'm really not!

OP too may have feckless looking friends, who really aren't either. All I'm saying is appearances can be deceptive.

Well, I'm truly glad you're sorted AF. I have taken your advice on board

Being an angry drunk is never good, having violent rows is never good. Im not sure how this thread entitled being 30's is the new 20's got to this?

I was only saying I bought leather trousers at 52

My face throughout this thread

For shame, not even one little smile indecisive? Bucks made me smile.

You're right sqoosh - I did do a when I wrote upthread about leaving bucks to go back to London! And have a

ok broken hearted, i hear that theres something going on and you are a bit all over the place .... understandably of course.

Well my face is doing stuff here too indecisive. like i said, I thought it was fantastic to buy leather pants at 52 Im sort of 25 now

I am 30

I would not WANT to be 20 again.

Anyone who tells e 30 is the new 20, I assume is either very far away from either, or likes very different things to the things that I like

Having read what you've said, it's hard to tell if

a - you are smug and have no concept of people living different lives to your life

Or if

b - your friends are dim and thoughtless.

It's really vey hard to tell

yeah i get that, Id like to be 40 again, that was the best

I think both the op and her apparently feckless friends are both lucky. I spent my twenties paying someone else's mortgage in london but without the lifestyle and no nearer to buying anything in my 30s. I've decided I will just have the family size i want regardless as its at least one life ambition I can probably achieve.
I suspect there maybe some inheritance in the future or dh might get a promotion.
I think its time to have kids before fertility issues set in. The house can wait.