It is dh's birthday and .....

[PopTarts]

And we've had a tiff last night so we're both at home sulking.
I think it was because he was 'in the mood', I wasn't, he got a bit huffy and kept turning around in the bed in a mood, and woke me up once as id just fallen asleep by pulling the duvet. I was really annoyed so snapped at him, a few cross words were exchanged, and then we both fell asleep - on our own sides.

Background context: We're usually very close, unless we have a tiff. And when we do, we're both as stubborn and childish as fuck. I have long long days at home with two dc while he works long long hours - we're both always tired and it's been a bad week business wise with some financial loss.
I also have the feeling he was expecting some kind of birthday 'thing' at 12, and it never happened. I havnt planned anything for his birthday or even bought a card. We'd planned on going out for a meal today.

This morning he woke up, took dc to club and went to work. While he was there I sent him a text saying about how annoyed and upset I was about last night. He's come home and I ignored him and so he is now in bed...

Aibu? Did he spoil his own birthday or am I?
What would you do?

You saved me a long post kittens and definitely put it a lot better than I could, those are my thoughts exactly,

I think YWBU OP, to send him a text dragging it out without even acknowledging his birthday was unneeded and a little immature. Yanking the duvet was also immature of him, however I would have let it go, or waited til he came home, give presents etc. first then mentioned I was annoyed with his behaviour but all is forgiven if he could refrain from any repeat performances! I would also apologise for yelling though.

This is probably sounding quite harsh, but ignoring him then giving a half-hearted apology whilst offering not even a card is a bit rubbish. I would be very upset in his position.

i get huffy, dh gets huffy... you are allowed to get huffy if you get turned down if you've tried it on. It is NOT indicative of abuse to 'get huffy'. we're human, it happens.

if your spouse gets abusive (shouting, threatening, swearing, physically aggressive) then there is something to complain about.

getting 'huffy' is not abuse, and it actually belittles people who do suffer very real abuse and spousal rape.

your spouse getting 'huffy' is not an excuse to start a row that you then continue into the next day as punishment because he pulled the duvet a bit hard and woke you up, to the point you ruin his birthday.

Morning Pop. How's things?

Morning sparkling - thank you for asking
All is well in the poptart household .. The meal went well, and later on we had a chat about everything

Ps: still feel guilty for no present so will have to get a late one. When we went out yday dh said since he was having a non-birthday, he was going to make it all about the girls.. And went and bought them a present each ! They were delighted

Great. the lines of communication are open again.

Is he ok? Perhaps this week will be better.....

Pop, your DH sounds nice, a welcome change on here.

He's ok.. Ish..a lot more stressed about work than he was letting on , and about getting older - I should have known about the last one as he hates his birthdays but I've just been so caught up in everything else, and preoccupied with thinking about returning to work too so I think we've both been in our own worlds a bit lately!

He's dropped dd off at club and gone to work again so no day off this week.. I hope the following week is a good week for him.

Titch, he is lovely, that's why random huffyness is out of character for him and usually stress-related, I can see that now after removal of major sulk blinkers yes I am immature as confirmed by the whole of mn last night

Right, so you need to go and buy him a present. What's it to be?

I was thinking selfridges vouchers???
I think he'd love it.
I had intended to take out the dd's and buy something from them too. Never happened ! What could they get any ideas sparkling ?
He doesn't like sentimental mugs and cutesy stuff

DH doesn't do mugs and stuff like that either Pop. The boys tend to buy something practical that he needs. Anything he has run out of or broken lately?

Could you book the pair of you a night away somewhere? Not too pricey (try groupon or holiday pirates for great deals) soundsike he needs a distraction from work, if een for one night.

Does he read? Listen to music? Have a hobby?

Something for his desk? Or wherever he works. To remind him of you lot when he's stressed...