To think being sahm to 2 primary aged kids is the life of Reilly?

[Mummyusername]

Just that really. My youngest will start school soon and Im imagining having the perfect combo of me time and then kids' hubbub after school.
Just wondering if I'm missing something though as when working I imagined having way more time on my hands when at home than I actually seem to have?

Yes, I get judged and pressure from others that now my children are at school I should get a job, and for "letting the sisterhood down"

But then when I worked, I was judged and pressured for that too.

It's one of those things that you'll never win. Do what's right for your family and to hell with everyone else!

It wouldn't seem logical to pay someone to mind your kids so you can work just in case you divorce that's true

However having been there after a long period of being SAHM then a divorce I can testify it's really hard to get back into the workplace and start being financially independent again.

I loved being a SAHM and found it a complete doddle but in hindsight my blithe naive assumption that I would go back to work when I needed to etc was stupid. I've no regrets but only because post divorce there was enough money to go round so my paltry and only improving now after four years of hard work salary has been sufficient.

I was a SAHM before my children started school. I now work during school hours and one day a weekend to up my hours.
I suppose it's just what you get used to, when I was at home I did focus a lot more on housework etc. Now it all gets crammed in between making dinner and helping with homework. I do envy people being able to stay at home when they have school aged children. Holidays must be so much less stressful.
Occasionally I am a bit when my stay at home friend wholeheartedly agrees with me when I say I'm tired and says 'tell me about it! I've not stopped cleaning the house all day!'

I feel like a sahm but I actually work two evenings a week 4-10 , so I don't have that issue of not having my own money to spend or having to ask dp for money, it really is a piece of piss once the DC go to school, only got the little six year old at home now as grown up DC have now flown the nest so I have loads of free time, tbh I always thought having the kids at home even easier.
unfortunately my dB has terminal cancer but luckily being a sahp with a child in school means I can spend a couple of hours with him everyday, time that would be lost for us if I had to work everyday. my dB and I talk about this issue a lot at the moment and have found out the hard way that life is not a dress rehearsal, you don't get any second chances and you really must get as much enjoyment out of life as and when you can, whether that mean working ft or being a sahp do what makes you the happiest and most content, unfortunately more time cannot be purchased at any price but smart price beans are not that bad.

I imagine its a very individual thing.
I would love some extra time tbh. Some more time to do homework with the kids, to see their school events (ds in. nursery school) or even to go to the gym - ever!
But i cant.
However, much would depend, for me, on who the DH is. Because some DHs can really make it all too much hard work. If I felt I was having to justify my place or earn my keep I would be quite miserable. And I think that happens for quite a few sahms, ime.

I hope if I was an SAHP to school age kids I'd enjoy it.

I have a "friend" who is in that boat and always moaning about how hard her life is, I've cut down on spending time with her as I find the moaning a little hard to stomach-I work FT and have 3 kids, not that it is a competition in any way.

My mum is the kind of person that hates sitting around doing nothing. She gets really fidgety and can't deal with it at all. So when she was a SAHM and we were both in school she'd rearrange the entire house and deep clean it practically every day, find any excuse to go to the shops, go pop in on elderly relatives etc. Made sure she was always on her feet. And a year after my younger DB started school she couldn't hack it anymore and started working again .

Tbh I think I'd be the same. If I wasn't home educating I'd have to start working when they were all in full time school else I'd go stir crazy! It's probably alright if you have friends in the same situation so you can go shopping together or have coffee mornings but if not I imagine it gets lonely and pretty boring.

Probably get flamed but i can't think of anything more dull - looking to work more hours as twins start school in September. (But then I hate all the tidying and cleaning and can do it all in 3 hours. Never going to have a desire to watch daytime tv). I wouldn't judge someone who did it, just not for me.

I am a SAHM to five school aged children and currently studying at home.

I have a lot of spare time and even have enough time to fit in a nap. My course is pretty flexible.

I class myself as unemployed or a student as I don't really think I am a SAHM as such when none of them are home during the day.

I keep up with housework as I go along which helps.

Going to uni and not having lazy days is going to be a shock to the system. I currently have a lot of freedom to spent my days as I want. I will miss that.

I married at 17 and got a 300, 000lofe insurance pict and I'm almost 35 now but who lives their life like thatffs

I do about 30 mins of house work Monday to Friday

There is more to life as a SAHM than cleaning...I would be back at work if I had to do loads of cleaning!!

But that's because I'm lazy

've never been so busy. You are basically cook, housekeeper, maid, personal assistant, accountant, chauffeur, laundress, personal shopper, letter writer, researcher, all those little jobs your DH doesn't "have time for".

which working parents do as well as going to work. Not knocking SAHP- valid lifestyle choice but I do all of the above and work 60 hrs plus a week

Yes it really is the life if Reilly, how on earth is having 7ish hours a day without kids hard work?

I only work two days a week. Have a son at school
And a pre-schooler and think it's easy, when my youngest starts school I'll have even more time and will be very bored!

I'm a SAHM to one DD who's in Y1. It is a very easy life at the moment, mostly because we've just moved here so I have no friends/family close by, therefore I help out one morning a week in DD's school and have joined a French class. Other than that, I potter around the house (crochet and knit), make sure dinner is ready when DH gets home from work and try to keep up with the washing, ironing and cleaning.

DC2 due in June though, so trying to keep things chilled out now while I can

I'm a SAHM to two primary school school kids and yes it's a good life. I've had a horrible cold today so was able to come home run around and tidy up and spend the whole day wallowing in the sofa. It's not a bad life, but I am on call 24/7 and that's part of my role so it's swings and roundabouts

As a FT working LP I'm very envious reading this thread!

Not necessarily of the SAHPs, although it does sound lovely, but of all the WOHPs who have all the organisational, houseworky stuff picked up by the parent at home. Bliss!

What I need is a wife

I have a question - at what age do your kids have to be before you can't call yourself a sahp anymore and just become a lady of leisure/ unemployed - 5, 10, 16?

I'd love it for about a month then I'd be bored.

Someone said earlier that they do housework, paperwork, odd jobs everything but I work full time and do all that too as DH works away Monday - Friday. I reckon you should do what suits your situation best and as long as I'm not paying for someone to do as they please all day, I don't care.

I am of SAHMs I know with school age DC, but some of their DH's don't seem nice about it and Lord it about a bit, and then put conditions on their W returning to work (eg she must still cover all childcare and domestic work) which I don't like. I also don't want to lose financial independence or reduce my chances of a good / well paid job, although many days that isn't enough to feel OK about working FT.

I agree Rufus.

I have a tidy enough house that is clean enough.

I do not spend hours every day cleaning at all.

Most of my day is free to do what I want. Of course apart from the studying, but I can choose to do that in the evenings or cram it all in a day or two.

I am a SAHM and do find that my days are full. I do try my best to accomplish the "big" things during the school days so that we can spend more time together as a family at weekends.

I hope that family time (and my productive time) will improve, as DH just received a significant promotion and will be working 8-4 weekdays for the first time in years.

This means we all wake together, DH and the DCs leave essentially together so the only thing in the way of me getting things done is me and Mumsnet

I got it all done when I worked FT, too - just at different times, and with different priorities.

Why is it that people need to compete, anyhow?

good god, ignore the haters!

it works well for lots of people. i tried it for a bit, it wasnt for me- i would literally do nothing! discoverd total lack of self motivation

i would love a decent part time job but that doesnt exist in my field.

and i also say well done and thank you to the SAHMs who listen to my child read and help her change her book daily and raise the PTA funds and help out at afterschool clubs.

You only have to read some of the housekeeping threads on Mn to see that some people really do make more work for themselves.

People who wash clothes after every single wah, bedding changed far more often than average, towels changed daily, etc. I know people who feel the need to vacuum every single day - even though there are no "bits" visible.

I am sure I could, if I so desire, fill my days with household chores. But even when I am home (I work in a school so have 13 weeks at home, though do have DD around) I really don't want to make myself extra work. My house is clean and tidy and we have good systems to keep it so. It is fit into a short period of time when I get home (but before DH gets in, other than washing dishes/cleaning kitchen which DH does after we eat) ) and maybe a couple of hours (no more than that) at a weekend as both me, dh and sometimes dd is involved.

Agree Hulababy - I was a SAHM to a school age child for years, it was lovely, housework/cooking/laundry etc takes a max 2 hours a day (if that) - I cannot understand how so many mumsnetters seem to have so much housework. No one needs to have clean clothes every single day, fresh home baked bread with their meals, floors vacuumed every day etc etc. Why make work? It seems to be a 'badge of honour' for some martyr mummies that they spend all day on housework.

Yeah, for me being a SAHM for many years (with a school age child) was 'the life of Riley' and I loved it. .

agnahc - you are absolutely right. Working moms do do everything.
I have nothing against SAHM's in the slightest, and in all honestly if my husband earned enough then we would choose for me to be a SAHM too. However, as is the case of several moms at my DDs school it is so WRONG when they are leeching benefits. These women choose not to work yet receive housing benefit, tax credits - I honestly do not know how they get away with it. My husband and I both work our arses off to pay our way, pay a fortune in childcare etc yet so many really do live the life of riley at our expense (thats how it feels anyway).
But perhaps that's another debate...just winds me up, rant over !