To think being sahm to 2 primary aged kids is the life of Reilly?

[Mummyusername]

Just that really. My youngest will start school soon and Im imagining having the perfect combo of me time and then kids' hubbub after school.
Just wondering if I'm missing something though as when working I imagined having way more time on my hands when at home than I actually seem to have?

but I think the best thing now is that our evenings and weekends are completely our own to do what we want.

Yes, I totally agree.

Our weekends and evenings are totally free to spend doing what we want.

He can do his hobbies or whatever whenever (he's out a couple of nights a week and Saturday mornings) as we're not juggling housework and food shopping and childcare or whatever between us.

If I worked too he'd have to do far more at home on top of a full day at work. He'd have to take his share of time off when the kids are sick, or on inset days/school holidays, muck in with house work, cook dinners, take on some of the school runs/helping with homework/watching school plays/etc, food shopping, washing, blah, blah, blah. As it is, he can save his annual leave for family holidays, days out, time off over Christmas. Dinner is ready when he comes home so we can spend time together as a family and do stuff together at weekends

Yes, it's the life of Riley, but I'm not the only one who benefits from it, it's nicer for all of us, including DH

Interesting thread! Just popped over from the thread where working parents are talking about working for zero.

If I were to stay home Dd would be at school from 830-230. Once in proper school the hours are 830-300. Considering we go through 10-12 loads of laundry a week and have a dog I don't think it would be life of Reilly.

Yes stinkle I (and my dh) certainly agree that a SAHM makes an easier life for both parents. I think the worker gets the better deal when the kids are preschool and the sahp gets the better deal when they're in school.

I'm a SAHM at the moment after having worked in the city. I went part time after having dc1 and then was made redundant in the summer.
It really is the life of Riley for me even though I have a toddler at home and 2 at school. I have friends who are sahms too so we often meet up.
My dh works long hrs and I don't feel guilty at all. My dh wanted me to spend time at home with the kids.
He grew up with parents who both worked long hrs and he had a horrible child minder. He said he didn't want that for his kids.
Everyone does what suits them. I think it's pretty poor to make sweeping generalisations.

I have only read the first few pages but this thread shows me just how lucky we all are. I loved being a SAHM the only downside was the pressure I felt to get a job and also the slight stigma attached to it today. Effectively, I wasn't working, but wasn't really unemployed either, it was like I was on holiday. I was so so lucky to have that choice because my husband earned enough and supported me in it.

I really do think the ideal set up for a family is one partner working (doesn't matter which one) and one at home. This gives plenty of time for all the household tasks to be done, holiday cover and school related jobs so families have evenings and all weekends free for fun family time. I know being a SAHP wouldn't suit the everybody though and many many people just don't have the money for this to be an option.

The flip side is you have to deal with people judging you or asking whether you are planning on getting a job when the youngest starts school.

I get this question from a few people at the moment. They don't ask in a judgy way as far as I can tell. But the people who've asked are those who are very career-focused so I think they imagine I must be really bored all day. I've been a SAHM for 5 months now, after leaving a job I had been in for 7 years. DS is currently in preschool every morning, and will start school this September. I'm not sure what my plan is at the moment.

I'm really enjoying being a SAHM. We don't have anyone who could do drop-offs or pick-ups and couldn't afford to pay anyone to do it. So a job would have to fit around school hours. A lot of you have mentioned volunteering so I'm definitely going to look into that. DP is happy for me to stay at home but I know he would also like the extra money a job would bring, because we could save towards holidays/a house a lot quicker and easier. So I'm torn at the moment. A job came up at DS's hopefully future school (he goes to the preschool attached to the school) a little while ago that was only two hours a day, which would have been perfect had it been September! But there'd be no-one to look after DS at the moment, so if a job like that comes up again I would definitely apply. Two hours a day would still mean plenty of time at home.

hoping
Sorry, but i find your opinion offensive. You're coming over like you're bitter and resentful. Do you have children?

I've been both and a sahm is definitely the much easier life. I can certainly find at least an hour for myself each day.

Well I'm Sahm to two under four, and I think that's a total doss......can't imagine two at school. I'd be bored I think!

This thread is generally lovely, nice to see such honesty for once rather than martyrness! I am not a SAHM, but loved every minute of my three separate bouts of year long maternity leave - dreading returning to work! And that was with having a baby at home! I loved being able to do all my jobs in the day and having the evening and weekend to relax.

I am now a full time student juggling essays, classes and work placements, with three children. Life is hectic but I love it. I love that so many of us are able to have things just as we want it - that is what matters

Hygellig Pedantic correction - Life of Riley not Reilly!

What are you basing this correction on, do you know who the actual Reilly/Riley was who had such a good life? I thought it was just a generic Irish name that's spelled both ways, all the early citations I know of come in either form.

It must be nice to have the choice.

I work full time and have young children. I am out of the house for 12 hours, 5 days a week. I have to do housework, read to the children, take them to parties, cook, do washing etc but consolidate it into weekday evenings and weekends. Dh works with me but it is still a lot.

I do not sleep before midnight and am up by 5.15am. Late evenings are used to catch up with paperwork etc. I am constantly tired but cannot give up work as we would be short by £1k or so monthly.

I commute almost 4 hours a day. Cannot work locally as live in commuter town. Salary would drop by half - if there were any jobs that is!

The constant rushing gets to me. My whole life is set by a clock. There is barely any chill out time.

Openup41

That must be so tough, for you.
I won't insult you by asking if you have thought of x y or z as I'm sure you've considered lots of ways.

We are so lucky if we have the choice when so many don't.
I hope it gets easier for you as the children grow up.

My husband is SAHD and I must admit he does the majority of the household chores, errands, food shopping, ferrying kids to sports clubs, school run etc etc. I love my job so I actually feel like I have the best of it- all the fun bits with the kids and none of the mundane stuff at home.

Happier working part time than I was being a full time SAHM. Being a SAHm was really pleasurable when they went to school (needed a rest) but after a while, others are going back to work, most of the conversation I had were with other people my age, and were about the school, or our children, you are simply existing to service other people, and it is really nice to earn money again.

But that's me

I think it is easy to think you are busy when actually the work just expands to fill the time. I was v inefficient as a Sahm. There was always tomorrow

I am very lucky to be able to work part time. It is ideal for us all.

I agree that volunteering is an excellent thing to do if you need a bit of structure, want to learn a skill, need a change of scene, but can't or don't need to work for money. It led me into employment

I had a lovely time when I was a SAHM, although I did work one short day a week as well and did a small amount of voluntary work. Once one of the dc was at pre school in the mornings, it became incredibly easy and leisurely.

I spent my days having coffee mornings with friends, lunches with other friends, going shopping to various places, sitting on my arse don't not very much, going to the gym and swimming then steams, it was lovely.

Housework really didn't take that much time, and as I was single for much of it I was quite happy to do bits of cleaning or laundry in the evenings, but even when I didn't there was still plenty of time for it in the day. I went back to work properly eventually though, there's only so many years of luxury one person can have without getting bored.

Just a word of warning here. Are those who are SAHMs protecting themselves financially should their partner die or they get divorced? I worry about all that time out of the workforce.

I have had a lazy day today because I felt like being a lazy cow.
Tomorrow I will get quite a bit of housework done and the rest on Friday.
Not sure what we are doing at weekend yet, nothing planned.
I might make some tea in a bit.

I never get bored WooWoo but can see how some people would.
Its good having dd and dh about during the day though and great we spend lots of time together, I would probably be lonely if on my own all the time. Although sometimes like tonight, everyone is out and its lovely and peaceful.

chaya

I think on the whole sahps are more aware of their legal rights and protecting themselves. I think wohps should worry about this as well.
These events and the consequences don't really apply to one more than another per se.
It depends on circumstances.
Personally, I would manage just fine, hoping it doesn't come to that though obviously.

It's a point chaya. Life assurance covers death but as for the possibility of divorce I think that's just the risk you have to take. I can't imagine justifying having someone paid to mind my kids solely so I have a job in the event of divorce.

I am a SAHM to 5 DC, all school age upwards. I LOVE it because I like being able to put DC first if they are ill etc (was f/t work with DD so had stress of childcare etc etc) and never miss school events etc. I love picking up and taking them to school etc. I am very happy in my own company. I do not envy people who work whatsoever.

It is actually a luxury for my DH because he never has to worry about working away, working late, working ridiculous shifts etc. He has barely had a day off in 20 years. I gave up my job due to his awful hours and he earns 3 times what I could.

I find I am always VERY busy but I study 16 hrs a week finishing a degree and as DH works shifts we do 'weekend' stuff like decorating/shopping etc in the week. We also get to have child free days out on weekdays too! I do do two hobbies and meet friends for coffee about 2 times a week. I also am often spending time with an elderly relative or my college age child who seems to be hardly in college (hours much less than school).

I wanted to ask that too Fred - who is Riley?

'loved being a SAHM the only downside was the pressure I felt to get a job and also the slight stigma attached to it today. '

I agree with this fakenamefornow