To have an allergic reaction to this letter from school - is it misguided?

[Somethingtodo]

I am fully supportive of a uniform policy and enforcing it - but fond the language below offensive for some reason - like to girls are to blame for sexual predators....how should I respond - want to make a point in a reasonable rational way...

Dear Parent/Guardian,
Urgent: Appropriate Uniform Standards
Unfortunately, I am forced to write to you again to request that you support our drive for every student to
attend school appropriately dressed. We must ask you to review the uniform your child has to ensure, for
instance, that skirts are of the appropriate length of decency. The school policy has always been that the
skirt needs to be knee length but some of our female students are not dressed appropriately with a normal
and reasonable standard of modesty. This is unacceptable and a safeguarding concern as some are
indecently placed halfway up the thigh. From next Monday 26th January 2015 I will strictly enforce this
basic expectation and any student wearing a skirt at an inappropriate length above their knee will be
issued with a serious sanction for flouting school expectations. I appreciate your full support in this as we
are work together to keep students safe.

And that short skirts lead to more allegations therefore they should have longer skirts. It just seems... wrong.

Just to clarify, I don't think this would be the case. However, I have a colleague sat at home on gardening leave because a student in a short skirt decided that his telling her to sit up on her chair constituted him leering at her.

Much as I am sure he did not do as alleged, I would be incensed if her allegation had not been dealt with as it was.

I may have made a private judgement based on what I know happened but my professional judgement is that the correct procedures must be followed and that my personal beliefs are immaterial.

As I said earlier, to nobody in particular, the protestations that this is not a safeguarding issue, or that staff are not to be safeguarded in the workplace do surprise me. But as I can see that those who protest are not teachers and have no experience f this, I can see why that view is held.

That won't prevent me from disagreeing and trying to explain the realities of safeguarding though!

Well either the allegation is false, in which case if she'd been wearing trousers she'd have alleged he was looking at her breasts or leery in some other way. Or it's true and he's a perv, in which case if she'd been wearing trousers he'd have leered at her breasts or in some other way.

Do you understand nomama - the allegation would have taken place REGARDLESS of what she was wearing.

I hate school uniform too. It's SO outdated, and yes the girls at the local High school do all look like they are off out on a St Trinians hen do. The kind of white short, school tie, short skirt get up most of the girls wear is actually a very pornified look.
This is not the fault of the girls wearing it, and it's not surprising they try and make it look sexier/more fashionable by hitching up the skirt, and the letter is very victim blamey, with the language about safeguarding.

A short skirt does not lead to rape or molestation. 90 year old women in care homes get sexual abused ffs, however the connotations of the classic school uniform are so entrenched in the culture. It's a bit like if nurses wore those fitted white carry on film uniforms with the white hat thingy. It would look inappropriately saucy.
Whole thing could be solved by changing the uniform to a more unisex version of, for example, school sweatshirt and trouser for all children.
I agree the letter is like something from the 1950s.

Yes titchy. Not being a total idiot I do understand the point you are making. But I wholeheartedly disagree with your assumptions.

The allegation would not have been made had she been wearing trousers... how you can assert that bemuses me. She is not an unreasonable student. I would not expect her to make an attempt at causing trouble - that is an assumption you have made based on, well, the fact that she was wearing a short skirt, perhaps?

My own thoughts, based on my knowledge of both parties is that she was slouching, not really paying attention, and got very embarrassed when she realised that he was asking her to sit up, legs under the desk, bag out of the walkway. He has said he was embarrassed to find himself looking up her skirt, she has said she was embarrassed to find him looking up her skirt. They both say the other one blushed...

I very much doubt there was intention on ether side. Whereas you seem to think that either one of them simply MUST be in the wrong!

It is this type of misunderstanding that CAN be avoided with dress codes. The deliberate lies won't be stopped by anything. Employers don't have to protect against everything, just forseeable stuff... there are lots of things in a school situation that have been experienced over and over again, many of the seemingly stupid rules and regulations are an attempt to circumvent them, to provide polices and procedures to deal with them.

And that is called safeguarding!

Well done OP for taking this up. I too would be extremely worried about a Head who framed this in terms of "modesty" and "decency".

I abhor the concept that a woman/girl has an innate duty or responsibility to dress "modestly", and that only women who do so are deserving of respect and protection.

I agree with others that enforcing the uniform policy is a separate issue and could have been handled by the use of the word "appropriate". It's the language, and the attitudes that language conveys, that is so worrisome here.

Safeguarding as I understand it applies to those who are vulnerable and relatively powerless, by virtue of youth/old age/SNs etc.

Therefore it is not the correct term to use for adult, mentally competent individuals in a position of authority, such as teachers.

That they deserve protection in the workplace, just as everyone else does, is perfectly reasonable, but the term safeguarding just isn't applicable.

Anyway OP has said she's pretty sure the safeguarding comment was not in reference to the teaches, so it's kind of moot.

In terms of the children - the school has an obligation to protect them from age appropriate sexualisation and this would apply to preventing any precedent being set (which could become widespread through peer pressure) of the uniform being adapted in a way that would make students sexually uncomfortable or force them to sexually display their own bodies in a way which they are uncomfortable with...
so YES it is absolutely a safeguarding issue
The uniforms should not be sexualised which Is what is clearly considered to be happening. The students are being asked to desist to protect other students from them.

NOT adult and student cross issues.

This is not in any way the same issue as a womans free right to display herself in a sexual way completely alongside and her right to not be sexually available.

AN allegation would have been made, just not that particular one is what I meant. I did not imply this girl was the 'type' to make false allegations - how could I having never met her, I said either the accusation was false, or he was looking up her skirt. Good on your HT for taking it seriously and not judging based on the length of her skirt.

And just how does a teacher accidentally look up a skirt - most teachers when telling a student off look at their face.

Preventing the sexualisation of young girls through their school uniform means not having a uniform that includes stocking and suspenders and stiletto heels. It doesn't mean insisting on long skirts because short ones are somehow sexualising the wearer.

Girls have rolled their skirts since the dark ages, it's not sexual, just fitting in, doing what everyone else does.

How does a teacher accidentally look up a skirt? The same way as I have accidentally looked up the leg of a pair of shorts to see a 17 year old's non wedded tackle sat on his upper thigh - really not the best day in my classroom.

It happens like this : you are talking to one student, may have knelt down so as not to stoop over them, turn round and - there it is, an untrammeled view of a student's nether regions!

In my case there were no allegations. I reported it to my line manager and our safeguarding officer, just in case, as I am required to do. A few days later a member of the coaching staff gave a general reminder of clothing regulations and all was well.

This time the member of staff concerned was not so lucky. And a student was highly embarrassed.

So, I do know what I am talking about. I do know how it could happen and I do appreciate why safeguarding must be a 2-way street.

bit if an allegation was made and it was a deals allegation doesn't that just mean that the person who made it was deliberately out to get them.

If a person had realised it had been an accident then. they wouldn't have said anything surely?

deal?

false

It doesn't mean insisting on long skirts because short ones are somehow sexualising the wearer

That is your opinion.Mine is different

Yanbu

Awful letter from the school, I would have been cross too.

My DD13's school uniform states skirts can be a reasonable length, no more that 10cm above the knee! Who is going to measure that?

When I bought her last skirt in September, it was within the required length. She has shot up, all in the legs, so now the skirt is too short. With black opaque, I really do not care. They can wear trousers, but most of the girls don't want to be dressed the same as the boys.

I too hate uniform and wish they could dress as they liked. My kids primary school did not have uniform and it was so easy. Jeans and boots in winter, shorts and trainers in summer.

shorts!!!shorts!!! - you lolita you

When I was at school deputy head had a ruler to.measure skirt length!

Giles, in the case I am referring to the student was mortified, embarrassed and then extremely angry... she made a highly charged and emotional accusation whilst in that state.

It happens - maybe more than most people might imagine (still not very often, thankfully). Usually it can be dealt with quickly and effectively. But in this instance the student remains very upset furious and adamant that it was a deliberate act.

How do we ask her to reconsider without it being assumed we don't believe her? How do we reinstate him without her feeling she has been let down?

How do we support him through what could be a career damaging allegation?

Were you in the room at the time? Because it does sound like you don't believe her.

How the hell can it sound like I don't believe her?

I have stated very clearly what I think happened, having heard both of them recount what happened. I have said, they both tell exactly the same story, no discrepancies.

Again you are trying to insist that there MUST have been someone at fault. From my knowledge of both I can't see either of them doing this maliciously/deliberately. It is, as I see it, an accident. One less likely to have occurred had she been a) wearing clothes that were within the uniform code, b) sitting in her chair not slouching and had he been a) quicker to notice her slumped posture b) more assertive and less blushing at the time.

She has every right to feel as she does. He did indeed look right up her skirt. But he also has the right to be heard. To be believed that it was not deliberate.

Now, how does that make it sound as though I do not believe her?

RESPONSE FROM HEADMISTRESS:

Thank you for your feedback to my recent letter over uniform standards. We do remain totally committed to maintaining high standards of uniform and safety here at xx. I would like to invite you into school to meet with me to discuss the background to this letter and why it has been necessary to word it in this way.

I look forward to meeting with you personally.

What is all about? Not able to wriggle and justify on paper?

Sounds a perfectly reasonable reply to me!
Don't need really know what you want her to say. She's invited you in to discuss it. Fair play

Sorry haven't read the thread yet. But I think thats DC school from the letter!

Have to say if it is the same school.......good luck! I have found the head and the so called child protection officer to be next to useless, and quite recently a dare say incompetent. Also head failed to turn up for pre arranged meeting. Was simply 'unavailable'