To have an allergic reaction to this letter from school - is it misguided?

[Somethingtodo]

I am fully supportive of a uniform policy and enforcing it - but fond the language below offensive for some reason - like to girls are to blame for sexual predators....how should I respond - want to make a point in a reasonable rational way...

Dear Parent/Guardian,
Urgent: Appropriate Uniform Standards
Unfortunately, I am forced to write to you again to request that you support our drive for every student to
attend school appropriately dressed. We must ask you to review the uniform your child has to ensure, for
instance, that skirts are of the appropriate length of decency. The school policy has always been that the
skirt needs to be knee length but some of our female students are not dressed appropriately with a normal
and reasonable standard of modesty. This is unacceptable and a safeguarding concern as some are
indecently placed halfway up the thigh. From next Monday 26th January 2015 I will strictly enforce this
basic expectation and any student wearing a skirt at an inappropriate length above their knee will be
issued with a serious sanction for flouting school expectations. I appreciate your full support in this as we
are work together to keep students safe.

Titchy - have another look. There is always a lot of orangey-purple flesh around at this time of year. Thighs, midriff and arms are as bare and uncovered now as you would expect to see in mid-summer!

I have no idea how they put up with it, makes me shiver just seeing them walk passed.

Would an accusation by a female student be taken less seriously if she wears a short skirt? Would it be assumed that it was her own fault or a misunderstanding because she was wearing a short skirt?

Giles, it isn't about self control, it is about protecting staff from the possibility of any misunderstanding and allegation.

We have all see much more than we would like, of the boys as well as the girls. But we have minimum dress standards to minimise the possibility of us having to... and so the minimising possibility of being reported because a student felt uncomfortable/upset when the almost inevitable happens... a teacher (male or female) gets an eyeful of something best left covered.

To be honest, it really doesn't matter to me what most of you seem to think... the reality for many teachers is that our work environment is safer if it includes a well maintained dress code.

Seff, I would hope not. All allegations must be taken seriously and acted upon. But that is why dress codes should exist.

nomama I would agree that a well maintained dress code probably does = a safer environment, but only because a well maintained dress code = an environment where discipline is consistently enforced. It is the attitude to discipline that makes it safer, not the presence of a fleshy thigh.

And someone out to make an allegation would do so whether they were wearing a sack or a bikini. because it's their choice to manipulate a situation or make the allegation.

I would hope a genuine student also wouldn't be disbelieved as it couldn't have happened as she was wearing a long skirt

I ask because wearing scruffy clothes completely covered up and dodgiest hair known to man didn't protect me from ending up in a situation where someone in a position of trust should have known better.

apparently it was my behaviour that mis lead him.

so best not speak to anyone either then

I just feel a bit uncomfortable with the way it seems people are saying girls should have 'appropriate' skirt lengths because of allegations against teachers. And that short skirts lead to more allegations therefore they should have longer skirts. It just seems... wrong.

Giles is articulating this much better than I can!

And it probably doesn't help that I've been discussing the issues around page 3 for a couple of days either.

What do they do for swimming and other PE lessons, issue take alarms as the girls are inviting attack by their attire? Ridiculous letter, good response. Haven't rft

Rape alarms I mean.

I cant see anything in the letter from the Head to indicate that she was concerned about safe-guarding her staff as well as the girls?

I think when there are real risks and threats of CSE to all our children in RL and on line and when we see that victims rarely come forward this attitude is irresponsible and appalling.

They have not yet responded. They do have a 6th form but this was sent out to all ie from aged 11.

I encounter a fair number of secondary school kids of both genders in the course of the week, and indeed own two myself. I'm slightly disappointed agog disconcerted to realise I never see any of these knicker-flashers. They roll their skirts up, of course. Areas of knee and indeed thigh are on display. But no pants. Or even gussets.

'True it does send out a message about yourself. In the case of the 11 - 16 year old CHILDREN that message is 'I'm a sheep and do the same as my peers' not 'I'm a tart or a hooker'.'

It sends out a message of lack of self respect. It sends out a message 'I consider my self such a nobdy if I wear a skirt shorter than anybody else I might get some attention.Shame on the parents letting them out like that.
I do have a teenage daughter and she does wear her skirt shorter than I would like- a couple of inches above the knee with black school tights.in the summer they wear school summer dress - again with tights but obviously thinner.

Do you tell your daughter she looks like a hooker?

No , because she doesn't.She is wearing her skirt covering over 3/4 of her thigh and wooly tights, not arse length with bare legs.
If she did think she was going out looking like that, she would have another think coming.And if she asked why, I would tell her she was dressed like a tart. (which for those hard of reading is NOT the same as being a tart)

What would happen to her if she went out dressed like a 'tart'?

If she managed to sneak out, or go out and get changed afterwards?

Be judged as trashy, 'easy' which could lead to a 'reputation'.

When I see a girl in a short skirt, I think good on her, I don't have the confidence to wear a skirt like that. I certainly don't think she's a "nobody".

That's what you think, not what the 'message' actually is,

So what? Why does it matter what other people think of her 'reputation'?

Be judged as trashy, 'easy' which could lead to a 'reputation'.....does this happen when she is flashing thigh on the netball court?

Or on the beach?

Be judged as trashy, 'easy' which could lead to a 'reputation'.

Shudder. That's taken me back a bit. It's 1985, it's a Friday night, all my friends are in the pub and I'm standing in my bedroom, in a skimpy ra-ra dress, I'm crying and my mother is telling me I look like a nasty tart.

I always feel for the students who have no choice in the matter and don't buy their own skirts they get punished through no fault of their own.

Be judged as trashy, 'easy' which could lead to a 'reputation'. Shudder. That's taken me back a bit.....

The parish priest in 1960's Ireland called to tell my grandmother off for letting her 17 year old daughter outside with short sleeves!!!