To have an allergic reaction to this letter from school - is it misguided?

[Somethingtodo]

I am fully supportive of a uniform policy and enforcing it - but fond the language below offensive for some reason - like to girls are to blame for sexual predators....how should I respond - want to make a point in a reasonable rational way...

Dear Parent/Guardian,
Urgent: Appropriate Uniform Standards
Unfortunately, I am forced to write to you again to request that you support our drive for every student to
attend school appropriately dressed. We must ask you to review the uniform your child has to ensure, for
instance, that skirts are of the appropriate length of decency. The school policy has always been that the
skirt needs to be knee length but some of our female students are not dressed appropriately with a normal
and reasonable standard of modesty. This is unacceptable and a safeguarding concern as some are
indecently placed halfway up the thigh. From next Monday 26th January 2015 I will strictly enforce this
basic expectation and any student wearing a skirt at an inappropriate length above their knee will be
issued with a serious sanction for flouting school expectations. I appreciate your full support in this as we
are work together to keep students safe.

Why is it only girls who dress in such skimpy clothing anyway? Obviously they can if they want to, and I certainly did in my youth, but it just doesn't happen with boys. This means that events described in threads like this always seem to be singling girls out but the reality is that it isn't an issue with boys at all because they don't wear skimpy clothing.

what are the 'serious sanctions'?

The rest of the letter is fine but the safeguarding bit is totally wrong. Unfortunately feminism hasn't made it into schools yet. Write back, don't muddy the waters by talking about other bits just complain specifically about "safeguarding". Ask for womens aid to come and do a session around girls/women and relationships with staff and students.

Oh no those poor men and boys who won't be able to control themselves if they see a short skirt.

Bad bad bad wording, I'd be inclined to send something back about victim blaming. Whilst I agree being taught to dress modestly for school is a good way of preparing for work. But that letters so bloody awful!

OP, I've read this twice through and I totally agree. The language is totally OTT and seems written by a 19th century Carmelite nun.

Just to pick it apart - I think the word "appropriate" is fine. I think it's also a good idea to have a policy on skirt length. This should be about reminding the girls of their own worth, dignity and attractiveness without it being necessary to show acres of skin.

However, just about everything in this letter is wrong, e.g "standard of modesty", "length of decency", "indecently placed.. up the thigh", "flouting expectations". Why don't they just call the girls sluts? Because that is the implication here. This is NOT a fucking safeguarding issue. Girls will not be any safer or in any greater danger depending on their skirt length and it's ridiculous and sexist to say so.

Please complain about this.

I think that I would staple a piece of paper to the original letter and write 'Yes, because short skirts are the main cause of rape' on it. Then hand it in.

Then perhaps hand in a follow-up letter saying that you apologise for your outburst but that they really need to consider their phrasing and what it betrays about their underlying thought processes.

I'd be hopping mad at this!

The school I hope DD will transfer to has a rule about length of skirt (if chosen rather than trousers). I have no problem with that.

I would have a problem about this safeguarding and modesty bollocks in this letter.

Our nearest school the girls have to wear ankle length skirts and get sent home if they don't have them on, seriously. They can wear trousers if they like.

I agree and think very short skirts are indecent and unsuitable for school.
Also agree we used to hitch skirts up to attract the boys at school. One length at home in front of parents, then a couple of inches higher at the bus stop.

The only issue I have is with the use od the word 'safeguarding'. Having a short skirt shouldn't even be an issue in that sense.

However I have no issue with the use of 'modesty' per se. Modesty doesnt just have to do with issues of sexuality, it is imply an inappropriate place to wear certain clothing. I wouldn't go to work in a teeny tiny skirt and a lowcut blouse (god forbid) not because I would run the risk of sexual assault, but simply because it would look out of place and unprofessional.

It's just too wordy and desperate. All they needed to say is 'X is the correct uniform. Please ensure your children wear it. There will be sanctions for failing to do so'.

As ever I ask, why issue a uniform that is not suitable? Give the girls TROUSERS for fuck sake!!

I agree. The secondary school my ds is already at and that both my dds will go to does this - trousers for everyone.

I agree, it's very badly worded. They should have just said that the uniform policy was not being observed and could parents please ensure their child is dressed according to the rules. There's no need to bring decency/modesty etc into it.

Write back and tell them they could save themselves a lot of time and effort if everyone wore trousers instead?

It would have the added benefit of covering the entire leg, so safeguarding against an exposed ankle causing rape.

Thanks all - I sent this - hope not too ranty but has some effect
I sent it to Head Mistress (who sent the letter), Child Protection Officer and Head of Governors...

Dear All,

I am extremely disappointed and very concerned to receive this letter.

Skirt length is quite clearly not a CSE safe-guarding issue as claimed. The choice of language is ignorant, offensive and dangerous to our daughters and our sons. It saddened me deeply that such pernicious victim-blaming beliefs are held and communicated at my child's school.

I fully support a uniform policy and efforts to enforce it.

Yours sincerely

Good for you.

Safeguarding! Seriously???
Well done for responding.

Great response.

My 13 year old dd wears an unsuitably short skirt (skater style) with knee socks

She has just asked for a pair of trousers

She doesn't do it to attract boys

The school has a uniform policy and in year 7 she had the longest skirts I could find...I swear she was the only girl in a knee length skirt!!

I would be angry with the phrasing of the letter

I don't see a problem with that! I was a teacher no longer am, but some of the girls were wearing horrifically short skirts and it is distracting to boys hitting puberty! It is a safeguarding issue as there are often visitors to the school who even though they are escorted by staff you don't know who they are! I was a product design teacher and at times I had to remove girls from my workshop as when they were sawing or doing practical leaning over you could see far too much and it was so inappropriate!!!

Good for you!!!

rules on length - fine.

not fine however to bang on about modesty, safe guarding, and flouting expectations.

Please report back

Interested to know why you support the uniform policy though, the letter is truly ignorant and offensive, but it does appear to be good evidence of why the school chose that uniform policy.

Aren't you just agreeing with the sentiments of the school by supporting the policy?

what invisiblecrown said.

Glad you're no longer a teacher newlywed....

Your post, and the letter, implies that if girls wear short skirts and a male pupil or visitor to the school gets all in a tizz and does something to the wearer of that skirt, it's the girl's fault for wearing it so short.

maybe they are concerned about frost bite?

They haven't explicitly said what the safeguarding issue is.

They clarified it IMO by saying they require a reasonable standard of MODESTY.