To have an allergic reaction to this letter from school - is it misguided?

[Somethingtodo]

I am fully supportive of a uniform policy and enforcing it - but fond the language below offensive for some reason - like to girls are to blame for sexual predators....how should I respond - want to make a point in a reasonable rational way...

Dear Parent/Guardian,
Urgent: Appropriate Uniform Standards
Unfortunately, I am forced to write to you again to request that you support our drive for every student to
attend school appropriately dressed. We must ask you to review the uniform your child has to ensure, for
instance, that skirts are of the appropriate length of decency. The school policy has always been that the
skirt needs to be knee length but some of our female students are not dressed appropriately with a normal
and reasonable standard of modesty. This is unacceptable and a safeguarding concern as some are
indecently placed halfway up the thigh. From next Monday 26th January 2015 I will strictly enforce this
basic expectation and any student wearing a skirt at an inappropriate length above their knee will be
issued with a serious sanction for flouting school expectations. I appreciate your full support in this as we
are work together to keep students safe.

I hope the school responds, OP.

As many other have said, the problem is not that there is a policy, nor that they are trying to enforce it. It's that instead of saying "It's against the rules. Stop it" the letter makes it about safeguarding and modesty and decency.

I am so not looking forward to this stage with DD, and hoping that she can wear trousers. At least with DS uniform battles are limited to "tuck your shirt in" and "no, those trousers do not still fit you, they are flapping around above your ankles. Try again"

Too many !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree that the main thrust should have been "We have rules, please follow them" but

it is a safeguarding issue and one I have recently had experience of.

You see it is not necessarily the girls that are being protected. It could well be all male staff.

We have recently had allegations made against a member of staff. Young lady, short skirt, slouching in her chair, feet out from under the desk, sort of sat sideways in her chair. When he asked her to sit up and put her feet under the table, out of the walkway, health and safety etc, she screamed blue murder at him and left the room. She made allegations that he had been looking up her skirt and he was immediately suspended.

Now, it is possible to say that she should have been able to wear whatever skirt she chose, it shouldn't sexualise her, etc, etc, etc. But, having seen that pose before, many, many times, it is also all too possible to understand how helpless he will be against the allegation - after all, in noticing how she was sat he probably would have seen her knickers!

Suspend your outrage, not everything is about 'victim blaming'. Sometimes there are perspectives you just haven't considered!

"I am so not looking forward to this stage with DD, and hoping that she can wear trousers."

Ah, you've never heard the calling-cry of the teenage girl: "Mum, can I have Miss Sexy trousers? Please, can I have Miss Sexy trousers? Everyone else has Miss Sexy trousers. Please, can I have Miss Sexy trousers?"

Repeat ad nauseam.

I understand that they want to keep everyone to a certain uniform standard and that is fair enough.

I think the language they use is completely appalling however. A girl in a short skirt is not indecent or immodest in my opinion. The implication that it's a safe guarding issue is pretty ridiculous too.

Also they are shockingly naive if they think parents are sending their daughters to school with 'indecently' short skirts knowingly. Surely the girls with the short skirts are folding their waist bands up as soon as they've left home, like we did and our mothers did too.

Send your DD in wearing trousers. No question of modesty then?

send your DD in wearing trousers. No question of modesty then?

until they start complaining about those. ...

We received a letter nearly exactly the same a few years ago when my youngest DD was in 6th year. I emailed the Head Teacher to ask if the same rules applied to his daughter who was in the same year and wore as short skirts as my DD. I got no reply. When the date for "acceptable" skirts came in I spotted his DD wearing the same really short skirt. I got a call at work saying my DD was to be "collected forthwith" due to "unacceptable" skirt length, so I went to collect her. It transpired HIS DD was still in school with no sanctions whatsoever.

The Director of Education wasn't to pleased to hear what the HT had done nor that the HT obviously couldn't safeguard the safety of my DD or other female students while in their care. My DD received a written apology from the Head Teacher and he never sent stupid letters again about "unacceptable" skirt lengths. I got a grovelling apology from the Director of Education.

hackmum. Forewarned is forearmed. We are already apparently the meanest parents in the world ever, and she is only 8, so I feel we have set a standard of meanness which we need to maintain.

I would be furious. How dare they. And as a 50 something who works in a professional and very male dominated environment, I seem to have spent the past 30 odd years years wearing skirts halfway up my thigh without any untoward consequences.

The letter sounds weirdly pervy and I say that as someone who was going to suggest you were being unreasonable and that uniform policies should be supported etc.

It is a safeguarding issue though.

We have had false allergation a about staff who are 'looking up their skirts"
When they are bending down. They are required to have a skirt of a suitable length for this reason.

Think about it!

I would find it quite hard to take seriously any headteacher who would write that stuff about dressing with modesty. There is something about that phraseology which sounds 1950s or earlier. It's not really a term you would use seriously in any other context; e.g if talking about someone behaving in a slutty way, that's the term we would use, we would never go all prissy and say they were being immodest. Or at least I wouldn't, and I'm no spring chicken.

I agree it is a safe guarding issue and some people are very naive to think otherwise. I have worked in schools where male members of staff do notice and do look at teenage girls. It's bloody creepy, but reality. I would not turn a blind eye to my dd wearing a particularly short skirt and it's got feck all to do with "rapey" skirts that people keep mentioning.

YABU

the zchool uniform says skirts should be knee length. What is the length of your dd's skirt? If you are following school uniform policy, you can ignore the letter entirely. If not, buy a skirt that is an appropriate length. I am SICK of telling girls about their skirts when walking up stairs and their knickers on display to anyone walking behind them.

Yes the letter is loorly worded. It just just say dear parents. Skirts need to be knee length. From next week girls whose skirts are not will be sent home. Of course that means some parent who thinks fuck them rules and shit will threaten to go to the papers cos theyre like well 'ard

Did you report them?

Or just decide skirt length was the answer.

It's not well worded, but as another poster said it is also to protect members of staff, safeguarding works both ways. Safeguarding is more than just protecting children from abuse, it also refers to staff you are told to safeguard themselves against malicious allegations, which unfortunately do happen.

It's bad enough as a female member of staff if some of the girls are wearing very short skirts in subjects like Drama where they often sit on the floor, but for a male member of staff it would be even more embarrassing.

The fuck is it a safeguarding issue.

Calling it a safeguarding issue because male teachers can be vulnerable to false allegations is fundamentally misunderstanding the concept of safeguarding.

The only way it's a safeguarding issue is if short skirts make girls more vulnerable to rape, sexual abuse and exploitation. Which they don't.

If the only thing preventing staff from having allegations made is an item of clothing then surely a school has bigger problems than the length of a pupils skirt? ??

Of course it's not the only thing preventing staff from false allergist ions. But it is one so the school is correct in calling it a safeguarding issue

I really don't see what's so difficult to understand about this

School policy states skirts of a suitable length and it's a safe guarding issue

Ok, well don't pe teachers see kids naked in the shower? ??

I don't see pe being banned for safe guarding

Twitter - WHAT?!!!!! you worked with male teachers who stared at adolescent girls in a creepy way? And what did the senior management team and governors do when you told them? You did make your concerns known didn't you?

No PE teachers don't see them naked in showers these days.
Think you're thinking of old schools.
Pe kids usually don't have showers at all, and those that do have private ones

Someone corrupt and devious enough to make false allegations will do so regardless of skirt length.

A teacher capable of latching will do.so regardless of skirt length.

I don't see white shirts being banned (let's face it you see bras through them)

I don't see minimiser bras being made compulsory for those large of chest.

Maddy safeguarding your staff does not mean removing all opportunity to see a flash of knickers. If a pupil is going to make false accusations about a member of staff, then they are going to make an accusation. Perhaps the school should require all girls to bind their chests lest any male teachers sees the shape of their breasts and gives a girl an opportunity to make an accusation.