I know that dh is occasionally still in contact with the woman he dated (for ten years) before me. They split about two years before we met and he had a few casual relationships in between. Apparently they split because she wanted to get married and he didn't. She is now married to someone else and has two young children. By contact I mean that I knew that occasionally she emailed him to say happy birthday or vice versa, fine they were together a long time and I think split reasonably amicably.
Anyway I don't know why really, since I had no suspicions or anything particularly, but I was looking through dh's old phone (which he uses as an ipod as no longer has a sim in it) yesterday. I'm not really sure why I looked to be honest but there are texts going back to last July talking about arranging dates to meet. Then they have obviously met at least three times over the course of about six weeks. Then dh got his new phone so the texts end on the old phone and presumably start on the new one. There are also gaps in making the arrangements - e.g. What day's best for you? But then no reply and then a text just saying 'lovely to see you, my round next time looking forward to it' so they've obviously been in contact outside of texts too.
What has really pissed me off is in July I was having my second round of ivf and dh did not attend one single appointment with me because he was 'too busy' at work. However in this time and seemingly during work hours he has met her at least three times. It was dh who wanted me to have the second round of ivf too, he pressured me rather than the other way around.
What on earth can I do? What should I do? If the situation was reversed dh would go mad. Absolutely up the wall. But I'd never do it anyway.
I could do with getting hold of dh's new phone and seeing if there's anything more recent on there but who knows what he deletes anyway?