Examples of weirdness from inlaws.

[lovelydoggies]

Not sure if I'm posting in the right section but I'm talking about weird, unreasonable or plain bonkers behaviour from Mils, Fils, Sils....the lot.
I could write a book about mine, I don't know where to start.
One example comes to mind of Mil....she totally refused to spell any of my children's names right. When I used to tell her all she would say was "does it really matter".....
I mean what do you say to that.

Wow......... these make my MIL look reasonably normal

I've never been close to MIL, even back when I thought she was OK (this needs pointing out for the first bit of the story).

Several years ago, My DM died and I got pregnant less than 6 months afterwards. During this time my MIL hadn't said anything more to me than "Is MrRaptor there?" whenever she rang the house (see, not close).

I'd say I was 4-5 months along when she wrote my dad a letter...... It began:

Dear RaptorDad,

As RaptorMum is dead, I am the only person Raptor can turn to.

Love from

Nutter (I paraphrased that last bit)

She also began a campaign to adopt the cat (DM's cat - he came to live with us when she died) as he was 'filthy, and a lot of work'. When her weekly question to DH had no impact, she wrote another letter to my dad.

She also pretended to be my mum when I was in labour to get more info out of the midwives, oh, and then suggested RaptorBaby had a double barrelled surname (which was her maiden name/married name - mine didn't get a look in).

There's many more anecdotes, but these are the classic 'early years' ones

Midori I'm so sorry for your losses. Your dh's gm sounds crass, and mean.

My FIL tried to steal our house. Well, not literally steal, but tried to get us to sell it to my SIL who was renting. Apparently renting was no Good, so he came up with a scheme whereby we would buy his second home (which after three years on the market wasn't selling because it was about 30k too expensive). No discount either. We would then sell our house, less 20k because FIL decided its value, to SIL. FIL would own 50 per cent of each property and we would be tied into staying for ten years. The best part? The house we were told to buy was 20 miles from where we lived, and somewhere we didn't really want to move to either.

All to help Sil.

We would also our house with its contents. Again, to help SIL.

Did I mention I was 37 weeks pregnant when this scheme was presented? We were told we would need to compkete within 12 weeks.

We didn't go ahead, oddly. SiL considered buying a share in the second home, but FIL refused to help with the stamp duty which was the higher rate.

FIL didn't speak to us for two years: we ruined his plans. He deliberately didn't give dh anything for Christmas that year as he had "no money" due to not selling his second home.

These days he prefers to suggest my dc have different fathers.

Mil is a kind regards woman but crackers. Whole other thread.

High five idontsee

There have been lots of other little comments, I just don't speak to her now. We moved abroad more than 10 years ago, and I haven't been back to the UK for more than 6 years - suits me fine!

BIL told my DH to leave me and move to another country with him, because he'd get loads of fanny.

MIL & FIL there's too many to list. But for example, told don't breastfeed, it's selfish, as they can't look after baby or feed baby.

My MIL got the hump with me recently because I remembered by DS's birth differently to her.
Apparently I was treated terribly by the hospital because I insist on using my maiden name and the nurses assumed I was unmarried. I was so badly treated that I was traumatised.
I remember a relatively pleasent experiance- but I'm wrong and it was very hurtful of me not to agree with her recollections

Mil told me over Christmas that I'm lazy, selfish, not good enough for dh and that we should never have married. I'm also not considered family in her eyes.

She's expecting to stay with us when she visits in the summer. I've told dh no. And if he insists I'll move out for the duration of her stay.

If I'm not good enough my house is not good enough for her to stay in.

Wow people are bonkers
During my reistry office wedding MIL howled the whole way through it . I heard my mum stage whispers FGS its not a funeral. Mil sobbed "I wish it was". There is a photofof us leaving the office and Dh is leaning into her as we pass. It looks like a nice mother and son moment except I know he is telling her to wise up or fuck off.
She then had to stop on the way to the reception to pick up her glasses. She had to pass her house and the reception was 20 mins drive away.
She disappeared for 3 hours and was very pissed off that none of us phoned to see where her and FIL was and we had gone ahead without for the photos .
When we were on holiday/honeymoon a few months after she let herself into our flat and rearranged everything all furniture, cupboards, accessories, nothing was in the right place.
She had gone through all my personal papers (I owned the flat before I met DH) and threw away anything she thought wasnt important . including all my mortgage stuff, insurance, wage slips etc.

I gad a miscarriage a few months after the wedding . I woke up from my D&C to find her sitting staring at me. I was in agony and still groggy. She said Im glad you lost the baby, you and (DH) hardly know each other.
Fucking cowbag

Some of these are . I'm really quite glad I have the in laws I have, although they drive me mad. I have to remember they could be so much worse!
to everyone on here!

Ememem84

Why should you have to leave your home? If your DH insists, you tell him he can move out to a new home and his mum can visit all he wants there.

Some of these are just awful! I hope your DHs have told their mothers to stfu when they do this!!

My weird one is from when our daughter was tiny we went to visit and we forgot the collar of her avent bottle (you know the white thing that screws the teat thing up to the rest of the bottle and keeps it all in place). I said I'd go into the village and buy a bottle but mother in law wouldn't have any of it and produced an Avent collar from a bottle she had, presumably from when her other grandchildren were younger. I said "are you sure, thanks, I'll get it back to you in the post". So we went home a few days later still with the borrowed "collar" which I would post back (they live several hours away so we borrowed it to have a bottle for the car)

We arrived home and DH rang her to say we'd arrived safely (they like about a 5 hour drive away) and she said "have you posted the collar yet?" and DH said, uh, not yet, we need to find a padded envelope and go to the post office (it was about 11pm at night on a Sunday at this point and we'd JUST WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR!) and she said "ok".

The next day I was in the supermarket and bought a small padded envelope and put the collar in it ready to post, but I needed to go to the post office and figured I'd do it the following morning (I had 2 youngish babies at the time and ran out of time that day).

So the next morning I duly went to the post office and posted the collar back to MIL. It probably arrived if not the next day or the day after that but that night, we had a panicked MIL on the phone asking where her Avent collar was. DH reassured her that it had been posted that day and that it would arrive shortly.

So whilst there is nothing wrong really about wanting something back that you have lent someone, the sheer amount of panic in her voice about this round piece of white plastic was phenomenal! Whilst I had every intention of returning it, bear in mind she had no use for it - her family was complete, there were no more grandchildren to be had and no other babies in the family, its kind of strange that she even had a bottle in the first place, though she probably hoards stuff, fine. Me and DH were completely baffled about the whole thing and regretted even borrowing it but it would have been seriously weird to refuse to either even with the benefit of hindsight.

Then DH said that when she got the bottle collar, she'd produced it from a bottle in her bedroom, not from the kitchen. So where she keeps her stuff is her call but all the other "kitchen" type stuff is either in the kitchen or dining room. So DH and I had a fine old time giggling about the possibilities of why this Avent bottle collar was so important to her, and why she kept it in the bedroom. He mused that she might be one of those crazy ladies with the reborn dolls, but I prefer the theory that she feeds FIL his nightly Horlicks with it

Maybe the MILs on MN need to start a thread about the weird things their DILs do.

My FIL is a boorish arsehole and turned up, unannounced and uninvited, at the hospital shortly after I'd given birth to DD. We were told that visiting hours started at 3pm, and relayed this message. He took it upon himself to ring the hospital, was told 1pm, so he just decided to arrive at 1pm.

I'd needed surgery to repair a third degree tear, and had JUST been allowed out of recovery and down to the ward when he arrived. He went on and on and ON about how wrong we had been about the visiting hours, and complained that no one could tell him which ward I was on when he arrived. Yes, because I wasn't on a fucking ward yet!

I was shell shocked and in pain and he sent DH away. He tried to get him to go home but I shot him a look saying "Don't you fucking dare" so he compromised and went to the canteen. FIL then held the baby and coughed all over her while we sat in an uncomfortable silence punctuated with stupid questions like "Did it hurt?"

If there was anyone on the planet I wanted to see less at that precise moment, it was FIL. He just wanted to be the first to see the baby.

I eventually texted DH and informed him that if he didn't get back pronto I would kill him. His only option was to take FIL to the canteen to get him away from me so they both went back to the canteen, leaving me alone. I was in SUCH a state and needed DH so badly.

FIL basically stole a couple of hours of time we should have had together and alone as a couple. I will never, ever forgive him.

Not my in laws but my own mum...
Ds1 has always been the spit of me (dark hair and eyes), and has inherited my outgoing personality too.
When he was little my mother constantly compared his attributes to those of my fair, blue eyed, introverted brother, even though they are not alike.
Interestingly, my husband and father of ds1 is also fair, blued eyed and an introvert, but of course she never compared ds1 to him.

She actually went on as if my brother had fathered him. I think she was just reliving db's toddler years with affection, but the determination she had in making them the same really annoyed me, especially seeing as it was clear to everyone else in the entire world that he was a chip off MY block not my brother's.

My aunties would say "do you not think he's more like Poct?" and she'd say "oh no...I just see (brother)"

It would be faces all round.

Arf@name tapes

fry
Dh gets that she can be difficult. But I don't think gets how much it's upset me. We've talked it through and he's angry at her for saying what she did. But says he can't tell her she can't stay.

I've offered too if he doesn't. But also don't want to force him to choose between wife and mother if you see what I mean.

I don't want him to leave. Other than this we're great. She's just a pain in the ass. But majority of the time she's 12500 miles away. So it's ok. And before she left (last year) she was ok. No idea what's changed.

I've asked him to consider how he'd feel if it was my mother. And she'd said the same to him.

He agrees he wouldn't want her staying but isn't sure what we can do. Again I've suggested hotel. Am looking at the super comfy nice ones near us and trying to decide whether I would like him to pay for me to have a luxurious ocean view suite for 3 weeks with a balcony, or without.

If she stays (which she will, we all know this, and I won't move out despite the threats). I will just ensure I'm super busy during her stay. With work, friends, gym, hobbies, friends etc. So I can avoid.

Here's an example of Mumsnet weirdness:

Nobody gets as bashed as mothers in law and midwives. Consistently.

I just don't get it.

My mil is actually fine - the only weird thing I can think about her is that she always presents gifts in old plastic carrier bags instead of wrapping them. Even at Christmas. No biggy really, but slightly odd.

My bil is whole host of weird, but then so is my own brother, similarly fil is an odd bod but my own father is positively cockahoop, so it's just family weirdness I have, not specific in law weirdness.

This thread might have been more entertaining if it was about general member of the family weirdness.

Waiting for the in law defence league to arrive
For what it's worth my own family are just as difficult as my in laws, thing is I'm wired to love my family so find them a lot more tolerable !
My mil called my dh up balling her eyes out because he left the heating on at their house, thus making him a total failure and neglectful son.
My own mother tends to make lots of "innocent" thoughtless comments. Far too long to list!

If we're talking family weirdness then dm always counts the stairs, will always buy the most expensive thing she can (ie tv because it's obviously the best if it's that price....)

Df has started talking to the cat (who is deaf) as if she's one of his children - this started once dsis and I moved out....

Dm won't use the words congratulations for weddings babies promotions new jobs etc.ie won't actually say it to person But will always send a card with it written in.

My dad bought my son a drinking game for his 5th birthday. In response to my polite '?' he said "I suppose you're right, maybe save it for when he's older"
You think?

I'm in the MDL , because I'm a Mil.

You lot will be too one day. I'm sure you will be all perfectly sane and lovely though.

wow... and I thought my SIL was a bit strange for taking fish back to the supermarket because it had too many bones in it.

izzy I have a wonderful mil but that doesn't mean that other people can't complain about theirs. And the reason people on here complain a lot about mils and midwives is because they have a massive impact on people's lives. I have a difficult aunt but I'm able to keep her at arms length. Most people can't do anything that with their mils.

I have a difficult aunt in law actually - all the complaining people traditionally do about their mil is how I find my aunt in law. My actual mil is grand.