Examples of weirdness from inlaws.

[lovelydoggies]

Not sure if I'm posting in the right section but I'm talking about weird, unreasonable or plain bonkers behaviour from Mils, Fils, Sils....the lot.
I could write a book about mine, I don't know where to start.
One example comes to mind of Mil....she totally refused to spell any of my children's names right. When I used to tell her all she would say was "does it really matter".....
I mean what do you say to that.

eeyore that's bloody terrible.

its so strange isn't it costa
my own dbro and dsis have never said anything like that and I'm in the middle

Sitting here open-mouthed at some of the MIL's on here - makes mine look pretty sane and she does my head in enough. She means well, I hope, but had a very strange upbringing and is very selfish now, verging on emotionally toxic with DH, as a result. She seems to see DH as some sort of (platonic) surrogate husband/best friend and as I was DH's first very serious relationship I'm the one who 'stole' him from her which sounds OTT but I honestly feel like the other woman sometimes.

We moved counties just over a year ago, now about 3 hours from them rather than 10 mins, and without fail MIL has burst into tears at LEAST once a fortnight between then and now sobbing about how she 'can't see what her boy is doing' - the way she says it you'd honestly think she was talking about a 2yo someone had kidnapped.

When we were planning our wedding she asked over and over where she'd be seated, if it would be next to DH as she was so worried she wouldn't be, and we reminded her we were going to sit her there anyway (would love to have said no just to enforce boundaries but we were intending to put her there so would have been just a bit childish) but she'd still bring it up again another time as if we'd said nothing. And her excuse was "I am a very important person at this wedding!" then she'd pause a beat, look blankly at me and say dismissively "apart from the bride of course "

Every time there's an event, like Christmas, that's important other she really acts like a wronged wife when DH dares to have other priorities. Christmas with my parents? - "well, I suppose you have to spend time with them too". DH's birthday coming up? - "are you going to spend it with me or Lolly? Lolly??? Well, ok then, I'll really miss you, I used to love seeing you on the day".

The most embarrassing had to be when we and PIL's went shopping for DH's suit, as they were buying it. DH tried it on in the changing room, we were sat in the shop and the sales lady asked "would the missus like to come and help him get all done up?" (DH can only just handle dressing casually, let alone get himself into a 3-piece suit) - I opened my mouth to say I was coming and MIL was already standing! Was only the aghast look on the lady's face that stopped her midway otherwise she'd have been off into the changing room (for her 28 YEAR OLD son).

Dd1 was the first grandchild on both sides of the family and mil hated that it wasn't her favoured eldest son who presented her with the first one. Bil had a child a year after me. Mil always introduced this child as her "oldest grandchild".....if I challenged her she'd pretend to look confused and say "well she is isn't she"....."err no, my child is your eldest grandchild". Because she had a few children she'd then pretend it was 'too much for her to remember' and 'how can she remember something like that' .

My MIL refused to let me on BIL and SIL wedding photos as she said I wasn't family. I had just given birth to her first granddaughter and dh and I had been together for years. She said that dd could be in the photos but not me. Utter knobber she is. DH didn't want to cause a scene at the wedding but there was a humdinger of a row the next day.

The post that says that the grandma gave a voucher with offer to babysit, and wrote labels to the baby - what the hell is wrong with that?! Sounds lovely!!

I was thinking the voucher sounded nice, possibly a slightly selfish choice of present if the aim was to spend time with the baby, but not a hanging offence. Better than when BIL & his wife did similar, giving us cinema tickets with a 'we will babysit' coupon then when we tried to 'redeem' it they said they didn't like babysitting and couldn't the IL's or my parents babysit instead?

Vouchers etc are all nice if the people giving them are lovely, with healthy boundaries etc. If they are people who come with demands, tantrums when they don't get their own way - then it's a different matter.

(yes I know the OP didn't say anything about tantrums, but you get my point).

Wow some weird ones here!

Naked dancing, calling wrong name, wearing a white lace dress to your wedding!!!!

Namechange - there were several incidents but me and DH really put our foot down and in the end I did swap it round so she didn't have him as much.

DS is now 6 and I'm 20 weeks pg with dc2 and DREADING what they will be like with this one.

Every time I say something like 'don't let him eat too many sweets' etc before they take him out I get a look.

If they were normal I wouldn't have to say it. They have literally taken him out before to bowling alley and he's had a slush puppy and sweets. Then they take him to an American diner for lunch and he has hotdog & chips, with coke & a milkshake and a sundae. Then they take him to their house after and give him some biscuits and more sweets. Then they send him home with not a packet of smarties - but it's always either a giant bag of sweets or 6-7 packs of normal size ones.

DS really isn't even that fussed. He's told me before about all the food and said that he didn't even order the food they did and he didn't even eat the ice cream etc.

It does my head in. Like I said no hippy here, but my DS loves fruit and carrots and hummus and cous cous and he'd rather have them then all that crap.

He always gets stomach ache with them so I have told him to say no and he is better now as he used to worry about being polite.

Southpaws what a fucking bitch!

My X and I were married with 6 weeks to go before we could move into our newbuild house. We spent that time with my XMIl. Sleeping arrangements there had all been adjusted to accommodate my X and me as a married couple. My XMIL didn't like the fact that he'd clean my shoes (he never cleaned hers) and he liked my mincemeat tart but wouldn't eat hers. There were a few one of two rows and I actually packed my case after 4 weeks to go back to my parents. I didn't go though.....

My MIL told my 14 year old daughter that she looked like she was from Belsen (Nazi death camp). DD had an eating disorder at the time and was hugely upset by that, as was I, being of Jewish heritage!!

To be fair, she wasn't trying to be mean, she can just be very unthinking at times.

Just remembered a funny incident my sister told me about her Mil. Years ago she had visited her Mil with her ds who was about 6 months old at the time. My sister changed the baby's nappy and put it in a nappy bag. Her Mil took it off her and took it out of the room. Imagine how shocked my sister was, when, as she was leaving the soiled nappy was handed back to her in a carrier bag with the words "don't forget to take this with you" .......

My MIL is brilliant, but my husband's is a shocker. We're NC with my mother, I have been since I was a child, but she turns up occasionally.

When my DDs were born she turned up on the doorstep at 1am. Presented him (they'd never met) with a bag containing gifts of 2 selection boxes (Dec babies), 2 pairs of shoes (1 child size 8 and 1 adult size 3) for them to grow into and a blue babygrow with 'Little Brother' on the front. She then called him an ill mannered prick for not inviting him in and told him he needed to wash his car.

She and my father put a note through our door when they heard we were getting married. It listed all the reasons we shouldn't get married, including numerous things like one of us being untidy and that we argued too much. They'd never met him and hadn't seen/spoken to me since I was child so they had no idea what they were talking about.

bub

I don't know how he's not sick from all that ! I think I would be.

my MIL is truly toxic. She failed to tell us that BIL had been arrested for being a paedophile, we were told by social services. At the time we lived round the corner and had 3 young DCs. After DH pretended he hadn't told me she pleaded with him to keep it from me because I wasn't family. She downplayed it massively, and had no problem with what he had done. She refused to apologise to me, then did so begrudgingly only because DH told her it was the only way she would see her grandchildren again.

Nothing DH has done has ever been good enough, BIL can do no wrong though. One of her sons is married with 4DC's and has raised thousands for charity, the other is an unemployed paedophile in his 40's who still lives at home, you can probably guess which one she's most proud of

Oh my god to all the replies since I posted!!!

My mil over feeding my child shit food is nothing compared to all them!

How horrendous!

Could the woman who received the restaurant voucher with offer of babysitting please elucidate? It sounds like a lovely present to me, I can't fathom what's supposed to be bonkers about it.

Is it any wonder Mils get so much stick. It's a unique relationship like no other. You are married to her son and like it or lump it she's a big part of your life from which there's no escape. I'm sure there's many a Mil out there who's a marvel and could probably tell many a tale about her Dil.
But many women resent another woman coming between her and her son, (that's how they see it anyway) and it's all a recipe for disaster. A wise woman would embrace her Dil and not treat her as the enemy, rather as someone else who loves her son. I've no sons myself but if I did I'm sure I'd be happy for him if he was happy and would never do anything to upset their lives. How hard can that be.

Agree lovelydoggies.

Is there a link between nightmare mils and their relationship with their sons? Plus my mil is a particularly spur witch who doesn't like any females. Literally. She has fallen out with all the females in the family. No contact with her sister, aunt, cousins etc. she falls out with all of them.

Mil treats DH like golden boy - that's what she calls him and we tease him. She has a daughter who is older - now 40 who her mum is not particularly nice to and she has always shown DH to massively be the favourite.

I am the horrid woman who stole her son away. Her son who isn't even close to a mummy's boy and who moved out and was very independent moving to London from essex at a young age etc.

I have never been good enough and I never will be. Fil has told me that. Her son is sooooo precious.

Honest to god I love him so much and don't know how he came from such a nightmare.

My MIL is lovely and I am very, very lucky indeed. The only time she remotely pissed me off was a few years ago when DD1, about 8 or 9 at the time, got stung by a wasp. She and FiL swooped in and started fussing over DD1 when it was clear all that she and I wanted was for me to take care of her. so if caring about her granddaughter is her most heinous crime I am doing pretty well!

SIL is fab too apart from one thing that DH, MIL and I just cannot get our heads around. DH and I have been together for 17 years and in all that time we have NEVER been to her house. Never been invited over, even for a coffee. No idea why not. It is never mentioned. MIL and FIL don't get invited over either.

OMG some of the inlaw stories on here are horrendous! Coco and Royal JESUS H FUCK. Sending you lots of

My in laws are very generous and their hearts are in the right place, so I can't possibly say they are malicious, but they are certainly odd. When DH and I announced our engagement they phoned him to tell him how displeased they were and then, once they'd accepted it was going to happen regardless of their rants, invited us over to their house to celebrate I asked them if they were happy now they'd got used to the idea and my now-MIL said "I am happy because you make Mr Lomega happy. I don't care if you're happy or not."
What can you say to that really?! I guess at least she was honest. She paid a lot towards our wedding when we finally tied the knot a year later so she can't have hated me that much

After my DH died my IL's insisted that their actual names should go on the headstone... Now I didnt think it appropriate but also wanted to deal with it in my own time and their constant nagging got to me..this wasn't quick enough for them.

One day my DH's best friend took DS to the cemetry to discover they had put a 'stone' on with the writing... much loved by his Mum, Sister, Brothers and friends. They hadn't even got a proper stone, it was the same as the ones used in the rows were they put ashes...it looked so out of place.

It took blumming ages to sort out and the town clerk was so shocked she offered to write to them straight away and get them to remove it, she just kept saying 'we've never had anything like this happen before"

I suppose when you go and order a memorial of any kind they dont think to ask if you have permision and assume you have the right to do this

Just thinking about how my mum was with my brothers wife. She really was lovely to her, never ever rocked the boat. My sil was so unappreciative of my lovely mum and was never nice to her. My mum, bless her would ignore all her nasty put downs and her criticisms of my brother(who treated her marvellously) and wouldn't even complain about her to her son because she didn't want to cause any upset in their marriage. She really was the perfect Mil but unfortunately never got the appreciation she deserved.

actually, the thing MIL has done/still does is to DH's step sister, her step daughter. MIL is completely and utterly the evil step mother there.
She made step-dd collect DH from school, feed him and supervise homework when step-DD was a young teen. She tried to force step-dd to do a certain degree that step-dd didn't want to do. When step-dd was 20, she got pregnant and married. MIL & FIL told her she should have an abortion and become a midwife if she liked babies so much, then disowned her permanently, and have forever after pretended that she NEVER existed. Any photos with step-dd in, even from their wedding, were destroyed.

Even when FIL died, MIL refused to tell step-dd that her father had died, and failed to tell the vicar that step-dd had ever existed. She wasn't mentioned in the service, on the headstone, at the funeral at all.

MIL has also removed other people from her memory, as if they never existed, if they upset her. We're kind of hoping that one day we'll accidentally get struck off as well.

I also remember when the IL's visited when DS was 5 days old..I had been in hospital for a while but this was their first visit.

FIL started to berate me as he ahd sat on my sofa and got cat hairs all over himself and this was my fault..The thing is I hadn't seen my sofa for about 5 weeks