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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask what the hell is up with people judging children's names?!

326 replies

WonderingWillow · 17/01/2015 18:15

Just that, really. When my DS was born, we gave him a classic first name and a middle name we really loved but was a little more unusual.

My parents came to meet DS, and when they asked his name, my mum sniggered and barely covered her laugh, and said "well, we like the FIRST name, but NOT the middle name!!" And my dad just sat there sneering.
When we saw them just before Christmas, my mum said over a cup of tea "so is his middle name still X? God, did you actually put it on the birth certificate?!" He is 4 now!

Also, I've a friend whose second daughter has a really lovely, but unusual name. It sounds gorgeous, but she had family actually say to her "please don't call your DD that name" when she was PREGNANT.

what the hell? I would never have the bare faced cheek to say that to anyone, and would expect to be given a damn good ignoring for a while!

What gives people the right? Why are people so rude? AIBU to think that if you don't like a baby's name when the parent tells you, you nod and smile and compliment the new parent on their choice anyway and then keep your opinions to yourself?

OP posts:

CalleighDoodle · 17/01/2015 19:32

bunmaker youre right. Im a teacher and i always assume the parents couldnt spell if the name has random letters etc. including Y replacing i.

I considered Lucian for my ds and people rudely said he would get lucy or lucifer. I would have assumed luke!

Both my ds and dd have popular names despite them being very uncommon when i chose them, which is annoying.

FreeWee · 17/01/2015 19:33

I know a Tallulah - father is a teacher so should know better! It's fine to judge other people's choices; it's human nature to question people who make different choices to you. But have that conversation in your head not with the actual parent. It's rude especially as once the baby is named there's nothing to be done about it! Maybe gently try and put them off depending on how good friends you are.

PunkrockerGirl · 17/01/2015 19:34

I wouldn't say anything but I'd judge the nobbers parents who called their child an unusual ridiculous name. From the playground, to college, to work the child has to live with your choice of name. Not you, the child.

Bunbaker · 17/01/2015 19:36

"Why. To someone who does not believe in god it has no connotations"

You don't have to be religious to know that Lucifer is a no no.

LoisWilkerson15 · 17/01/2015 19:36

usual I probably should have thought fuck it and called him Spencer but it just didn't sound right with our Scottish accent either. SPENSUURR!

Alisvolatpropiis · 17/01/2015 19:36

What's wrong with Tallulah, that would make a teacher know better?

I don't particularly like the name insofar as I wouldn't use it myself but there's nothing wrong with it. Makes me think of Tallulah Bankhead, but that's the only connotation I can think of.

Topseyt · 17/01/2015 19:37

I am traditional on my taste in names.

People can do what they like, but some would do well to remember that the child will be living with the name for the rest of their lives unless they change it by deed poll once old enough.

I would not judge directly to someone's face, but that does not stop me forming an opinion, either positive or negative.

Toptack · 17/01/2015 19:37

I agree that 'Lucifer' actually sounds quite nice, and I think it translates literally as something like 'bringer of light', but I still wouldn't land one of my kids with it.

foreverton · 17/01/2015 19:38

When I had my ds almost 12 years ago I called him Oliver. My then mil was horrified and said he would be laughed at in school, when he left primary last summer there were quite a few others ( though younger) with the same name.
He's now in year 7 and is the only Oliver in his year and he said it's nice to have a name that is a bit different as there are 7 boys in his form with the same name!

Mentioned this to ex mil last year when I saw her at a wedding and she denied ever saying it and said she loves his name:)

I don't particularly like my name but it was given to me so I wouldn't ever comment on someone else's.

FightOrFlight · 17/01/2015 19:38

Alis Makes me think of Bugsy Malone (song "My name is Tallulah, my first rule of thumb") Bloody loved that film as a kid.

StatisticallyChallenged · 17/01/2015 19:39

Scottish records last year (or maybe the year before) showed a baby girl called "Hoor" had been registered.That, I judged (or pitied is maybe more accurate) as that poor girl will have to live with it!

(Hoor=Whore up here!)

Marcipex · 17/01/2015 19:40

Breeze is a boy, and his peers call him Windy. If he's lucky.

LoisWilkerson15 · 17/01/2015 19:44

Think Hoor is Malaysian? Context is everything! Poor parents maybe didn't realise!

Writerwannabe83 · 17/01/2015 19:47

If someone tells me they are naming their child 'x' and I think it's ridiculous I'm pretty sure my reactive facial expression will tell them all they need to know even if I do nod my head and smile.

Disapproval is hard to hide in such circumstances

Groovee · 17/01/2015 19:47

My gran took a right strop when we had Ds and named him. She had expected him to be named after my granpa. But we chose a name we liked and he suited. She said at the hospital "so what are we calling him?" On being told snapped "what sort of name is that?"

LaLyra · 17/01/2015 19:47

Children do bully other kids for their name. I was teased relentlessly through school because of the downright stupid name my parents saddled me with so I do have moments of wanting to yell 'WTF are you doing?' to some people.

Stupid spellings I hate too. Mathyew isn't 'funky' or 'unique' - it's stupid.

Original poster

WonderingWillow · 17/01/2015 19:48

Yeah I'm obviously not going to print my son's name on mumsnet, sorry or my friend's DD's name.

It's rude full stop.

OP posts:

Fabulous46 · 17/01/2015 19:49

When I had my ds almost 12 years ago I called him Oliver

My DS1 is Oliver but was shortened to Olly when he went to nursery 18 years ago. He was the only Olly in his year all through school and Uni. He loves his name.

Original poster

WonderingWillow · 17/01/2015 19:50

My point is, say what you want in private. To parent's faces, no. Rude and nasty.

OP posts:

Paddingtonthebear · 17/01/2015 19:51

I can't believe Oliver has ever been considered unusual?!

CaspoFungin · 17/01/2015 19:52

I know a Spanish Mercedes who is embarrassed of her name now in the uk as people smirk when she tells them it, but in Spain they don't!

Notso · 17/01/2015 19:52

This is why I think it's a good idea to discuss names with people whilst your pregnant, then you can get an idea of people opinions and decide whether you love the name enough to use it.

foreverton · 17/01/2015 19:53

Fabulous- mine is Ollie:) I really love it, who cares what people think!

Ohwhatsoccuring · 17/01/2015 19:53

I thought Lucifer was one of the names you could be stopped from using when registering, obviously not. Although I think it is banned in New Zealand.
I have met a Jayzee and a Tinkerbell.

askyfullofstars · 17/01/2015 19:54

I used to know someone who had a baby called 'Capri'. Tbh the first thought I had was"why name your daughter after a crap car, or unflattering pant". But I kept it to myself.
Though I feel awful for laughing at DH in the car home when he said that if she grows up and has a little boy, itll be 'capri's son'.

On the other hand when I was pg with DS we didnt disclose any potential names to avoid judginess, but we also had fun when people asked about names, almost had my mother convinced that it would be Beyonce for a girl.

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