To ask what the hell is up with people judging children's names?!

[WonderingWillow]

Just that, really. When my DS was born, we gave him a classic first name and a middle name we really loved but was a little more unusual.

My parents came to meet DS, and when they asked his name, my mum sniggered and barely covered her laugh, and said "well, we like the FIRST name, but NOT the middle name!!" And my dad just sat there sneering.
When we saw them just before Christmas, my mum said over a cup of tea "so is his middle name still X? God, did you actually put it on the birth certificate?!" He is 4 now!

Also, I've a friend whose second daughter has a really lovely, but unusual name. It sounds gorgeous, but she had family actually say to her "please don't call your DD that name" when she was PREGNANT.

what the hell? I would never have the bare faced cheek to say that to anyone, and would expect to be given a damn good ignoring for a while!

What gives people the right? Why are people so rude? AIBU to think that if you don't like a baby's name when the parent tells you, you nod and smile and compliment the new parent on their choice anyway and then keep your opinions to yourself?

[Fabulous46]

Add message | Report | Message poster WonderingWillow Sat 17-Jan-15 19:50:24
My point is, say what you want in private. To parent's faces, no. Rude and nasty.

Stand in front of someone who calls their child Pocahontas and don't laugh. Tell that child they won't be bullied at school. You haven't replied to the post you made re children being bullied because of their names. You seemed pretty certain on that point. I'd appreciate a reply when you said children weren't bullied due to their names, which they clearly are. You've been given examples.

If anyone calls their child a ludicrous name, yes I will comment! It's not rude or nasty, it's an opinion.

[msgrinch]

poor kid.

[HoldenCaulfield80]

As a teacher I've seen even the most generic an 'normal' names turned into horrible nicknames - Isabel-end is one that stands out

I did once work with a woman who's brother was called Frisbee though.

[WonderingWillow]

Yep and If you weren't asked for it, it's rude.

[HoldenCaulfield80]

Whose, not who's

[toldmywrath]

Bartlebee
In fact, if I ruled the world, twatty, made-up names would be illegal.
You could rule in Iceland where there are a definite list of names :
"The law dictates that the names of children born in Iceland must – unless both parents are foreign – be submitted to the National Registry within six months of birth. If it is not on a recognised list of 1,853 female and 1,712 male names, the parents must seek the approval of a body called the Icelandic Naming Committee."

[msgrinch]

capris' son

[adsy]

Why don't you want to say his name on here? What do you think will happen? Unless he is genuinely the only boy in the world with that name he's hardly going to be traceable ( though why anyone would want to baffles me).
I'll start you off; my ds's called Henry. Now, let's hear this ( obviously laughable or she's have told us by now) name

[StatisticallyChallenged]

Lois, I had assumed it was a legitimate but foreign name IYSWIM, but still felt very sorry for the child!

[toldmywrath]

OP you anbu by the way. If the child is already named, then it really is best to try & be polite about it. But I would draw the line at Adolf or Myra or other names with sinister connotations

[maras2]

One of the names I saddled DS with was after a the founder of the Labour Movement Keir Hardy.He's now 33 but when he was at primary school his teacher asked him about the origin of the name and he replied ' It's after some old bloke who's a friend of my Grandmas '.As Grandma was herself a politician and looked rather older than she was,the teacher believed him.

[WonderingWillow]

fabulous you're coming across quite aggressive. Can you not?

And yes, I do think that kids making comments can come from parents. They have to learn that judgemental behaviour from somewhere. As proven by this thread...

[msgrinch]

I'll join in my ds is Alfie (yes very common but he has two lovely middle names, dads and grandads).

in my post birth state I wanted to call him Devon

[WonderingWillow]

No thanks adsy because I don't want to [smile* and also, I don't have to.

My point was... If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Not whether my son's name was amusing or not.

[WonderingWillow]

told completely agree. Just be nice!! Too many people giving their unwanted opinions nowadays, when they weren't wanted or asked for.

[LoisWilkerson15]

statistics Its like the irn bru advert with the baby called Fanny! Poor kid!

[Writerwannabe83]

This thread has inspired me to go and have a look on the Baby Name boards. My DH is watching Rugby, I'm bored and that forum will put a smile on my face.

We named our son a name that can be spelt in a few different ways and it is a name that one person will pronounce it differently to another. Me and DH spelt it in a way to avoid the 'wrong' pronunciation (in our eyes) but although people say it correctly they spell it wrong. It's really annoying. I feel quite bad actually as I think DS has a lifetime ahead of him of having to correct people on the spelling of his name

[adsy]

Yes, but if you've named him Frederick wankface the third, then it's not unreasonable that people have been less than positive to your face.
So, we really can't tell you whether yabu or not until we know his name

[drspouse]

I have a comedy surname and got teased for it. My brother got worse. Children do tease other children for their names.

I met siblings called by two of the colours of the rainbow recently - one is just about a name, though very hippy, and one is actually a last name (and I know someone else with it who I thought had been given it as an out-there middle name, but it's actually her last name.

I do think I'd say something if a friend appeared not to have noticed a comedy set of initials or similar. Otherwise, snigger behind backs, and if you are an adoptive parent, discuss with your social worker whether there's a big book of bizarre names from which birth parents choose.

[TruJay]

My ds has a name both dh and I have loved since being young, I don't like overly popular names but his is considered pretty traditional, some may say popular but he has never met one his age, he's 5 next month, and in his whole reception year he is the only one. I've never had a negative comment on it.
My dd's name on the other hand I can tell people hate it, we love it, obviously. I have had a few genuine, "ooh that is lovely, I really like it" but the people who say "oh, how er....different! I've not heard that before" with the horrified look on their face, I just ignore them now. The only person that really pissed me off was the midwife transferring me up to the ward who upon hearing her name said "oh so not insert completely different name that rhymes with dds name but is considered more normal here then?" Erm well no, if I wanted to call her that I would wouldn't I?? Rude woman!

[WonderingWillow]

I was more asking about the reaction, and whether people thought it was ok to express their unwanted opinion on a child's name when they haven't been asked?

Clearly I haven't named him that, because I wouldn't be allowed to!

I honestly think people offer their opinions to others when they haven't been offered, far too quickly.

[msgrinch]

Op, my cats name is willow so I love your username.