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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what the hell is up with people judging children's names?!

326 replies

WonderingWillow · 17/01/2015 18:15

Just that, really. When my DS was born, we gave him a classic first name and a middle name we really loved but was a little more unusual.

My parents came to meet DS, and when they asked his name, my mum sniggered and barely covered her laugh, and said "well, we like the FIRST name, but NOT the middle name!!" And my dad just sat there sneering.
When we saw them just before Christmas, my mum said over a cup of tea "so is his middle name still X? God, did you actually put it on the birth certificate?!" He is 4 now!

Also, I've a friend whose second daughter has a really lovely, but unusual name. It sounds gorgeous, but she had family actually say to her "please don't call your DD that name" when she was PREGNANT.

Angry what the hell? I would never have the bare faced cheek to say that to anyone, and would expect to be given a damn good ignoring for a while!

What gives people the right? Why are people so rude? AIBU to think that if you don't like a baby's name when the parent tells you, you nod and smile and compliment the new parent on their choice anyway and then keep your opinions to yourself?

OP posts:
Original poster
WonderingWillow · 17/01/2015 19:02

And also; I can't get that bothered about people using unusual names. One lady I knew called her daughter Calypso. Go for it, love. I didn't then turn round and say 'what did you call your DD that for?!' Like another lady in the baby group did! I just went 'oh that's quite sweet, you see X on the telly last night?'

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

OP posts:
adsy · 17/01/2015 19:02

we really need the name. ( or do you secretly know it's a really stupid name and don't have the confidence to tell us in case there's a collective spluttering from mnetters?)

Bunbaker · 17/01/2015 19:03

I would never be rude to someone's face about their choice of name or spelling, although I might secretly think it wasn't a good choice.

A friend of a friend had a son named Konner.

I wonder if the teacher thinks his parents are dyslexic or illiterate. Apart from that the poor lad will spend his entire life correcting other people's spelling of his name.

I really don't "get" alternative spellings of well known names.

FightOrFlight · 17/01/2015 19:03

Alis That's not geeky, that's being well-informed.

A slight side-step but still fashion related I saw my first ever picture today of Lynn Yaeger (contributing editor to Vogue). I try not to judge people on their appearance --if they can't help it. I love a whacky haircut and strong lipstick but that woman is going to haunt my dreams tonight Sad

www1.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Lynn+Yaeger+MBFW+Front+Row+Thom+Browne+Women+5b2TIlsLYNGl.jpg

Marcipex · 17/01/2015 19:05

I'm afraid I did flinch when introduced to baby Breeze.

Original poster
WonderingWillow · 17/01/2015 19:05

Honestly, unless it was a swear word or offensive, I wouldn't say anything to my own sister.

OP posts:
FightOrFlight · 17/01/2015 19:06

Fab got confused, realise now you meant Pocahontas, not Coco (though there is a film of that name too, just Googled it)

RiverTam · 17/01/2015 19:06

Lucifer Shock? Sorry, but those parents would need to be told, several times, until they used their fucking brains and changed his name. Unbelievably stupid.

Skatingfastonthinice · 17/01/2015 19:06

'My name's North
North West
Stop sniggering'

Original poster
WonderingWillow · 17/01/2015 19:07

I doubt kids get bullied by other kids for their name because other kids think it's stupid. I bet you any money that the child goes home and says 'my friend at school is called X' and the parents react and guffaw and take the piss and that's where it comes from.

OP posts:
msgrinch · 17/01/2015 19:09

Breeze would be a good girlfriend for Keith-Blaze.

Fabulous46 · 17/01/2015 19:11

I doubt kids get bullied by other kids for their name

You have a LOT to learn. Children very much get bullied for their name on occasion. School playgrounds can be pretty nasty. If you don't believe it, call your child a stupid name, send them to school, stand back and watch them suffer!

Bunbaker · 17/01/2015 19:12

"I doubt kids get bullied by other kids for their name because other kids think it's stupid"

Wrong!

I dislike my name. I was teased about it at primary school because it was so unusual. Being a shy introvert it affected my self esteem tremendously.

I have come out of my shell now and more people have heard of my name (due to an Olympian winning loads of gold medals many years ago) so I don't mind it as much, but it meant that when we had DD she was given a name that people could spell and that they had heard of.

FightOrFlight · 17/01/2015 19:13

I don't know how accurate this is but ...

"Fish and Chips (twins), Yeah Detroit, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit also got the kybosh, though the New Zealand judges did allow Number 16 Bus Shelter and Violence."

Number 16 Bus Shelter Shock

www.parentdish.co.uk/2012/03/20/banned-the-worlds-most-ridiculous-baby-names/

hazeyjane · 17/01/2015 19:16

Kids can come up with a cruel nickname whatever the real name - just ask my friend Ben (or 'Oi Ben-der' 'Oi Ben-dover' etc)

adsy · 17/01/2015 19:16

oh dear, OP. Kids DO get bullied over stupid names. It has nothing to do with their parents' reactions. A stupid name will result in teasing at best, bullying at worst.
So, what's the name?

LoisWilkerson15 · 17/01/2015 19:18

Lucifer! Why not go the whole hog and go for Loosyfir. My DS had an unusual name at the time but its in the buzzfeed top ten hipster names now. maybe not a good thing

momb · 17/01/2015 19:18

I think Coco Chanel chose her nickname, she was born Gabrielle.
The risk with choosing something 'out there' is that it may not suit your child as they become an adult. Kinder to choose a name which says little about them and let them define themselves surely?
I quite like Zeus, as it is neither positive or negative, but Hercules, for example, would be a nightmare for a skinny bookish boy aged 12.
Mis-spelled names just look as if the parents made a mistake and cause confusion.
But I'd never ever say anything negative to the parents. One has to presume that people have their own reasons: naming your child is a big deal: after all it will be with them forever.

weaselsquirrel · 17/01/2015 19:19

I named my oldest child after my cat

rumbleinthrjungle · 17/01/2015 19:19

Listening to the register being called in a reception class is gobsmacking. But it really starts sounding challenging in the conversation - Daanyol, please line up nicely behind Denim and don't push Tinkerbell. And Mykynzy hold hands with Hard and follow Bollie and Eggbert-Leonardo to the hall. There is sadly a fine line between unusual/special and sounding silly.

This generation will probably grow up and call their children Sandra and Nigel, boredom will be the hot thing in names.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 17/01/2015 19:19

Lucifer ? Sorry, but those parents would need to be told, several times, until they used their fucking brains and changed his name. Unbelievably stupid

Why. To someone who does not believe in god it has no connotations

usualsuspect333 · 17/01/2015 19:21

I know a couple of Spencers who live on my Council estate. Why on earth would it be wrong?

Pico2 · 17/01/2015 19:23

I still don't know why my FIL bothered to say that he thought DD's first and middle names should have been the other way round. He said it when she was about 18 months old, so not within a timeframe to change anything. And both her first and middle names are pretty mainstream, so it isn't that we have given her an unusual name or spelling.

Alisvolatpropiis · 17/01/2015 19:24

Needs I'm not religious at all and think Lucifer is actually quite a nice name, certainly has a nice meaning.

However given the connotations the name does have for millions of people worldwide, I'm disinclined to use it.

I don't think name judgement is solely related to the class system (though a particular type of judgement is), given that various countries have set name lists from which prospective parents can choose their child's name.

HouseBaelish · 17/01/2015 19:30

It isn't about odd children's names. It is about people being unable to obey even the most basic social conventions and not be rude.

If someone judged me for my child's name, all I would think is what a massive twat they were Grin