To not be 'Mummy'?

[Iamintwominds]

Dd is approaching one and there are some babbles of 'ma ma mama mama' which are cute.

Recently I have been thinking about this and I'm not altogether sure I want to be 'mummy.' I wondered if anyone else was known by their first name which is what I presume would replace Mummy?

My mother wanted my brother and I to use her name which we did. It seemed perfectly normal to me, inasmuch as anything about her was normal. Not so sure about what my brother thought.

I assumed she'd want the same from my son and nephew but apparently she wanted to be Grandma (not granny)

Tbh I wasn't that keen on "mummy" and I'm not sure how long my son called me that. I metamorphosed into Maw ( a la The Broons pronounced Ma) or Mater at around age 11.

My nephew uses my first name and doesn't call me "aunt" and my son does the same with my brother and sil.

Interestingly my DH called his parents by their first names, though occasionally Dad to his father.Never Mum though . They didn't have a good relationship .... They were Oma/Opa (reason irrelevant) to my children as she didn't fancy Granny either . I called my own parents Mam and Dad (Welsh) and they were Nain and Taid to my children .
My BF called her parents 'mummy' and daddy' til they died. It always sounded really odd to me.

I realise mom/mommy is a Midlands thing but I really hate it as it sounds artificial/American to me.

Iamintwominds - do you think you might find being called mummy by your own, beloved daughter very different to hearing other children yelling the word in the supermarket?

In the long run, all that matters is that you do what works for you and your dd.

I loved being mummy, and love being mum, but I wouldn't bat an eyelid at a friend who had decided not to be called mummy/mum - it's not going to change the loving relationship between them and their child.

Oh yeah, I'm not 'Aunty' San Diego, fuck that for a game of soldiers.

I don't like being called Mummy (grates on me), like being Mammy.

I'm occasionally "mother dearest"

I will never, ever, ever address my son as "son" I really hate it.

I love being called Mummy when it isn't ma or mamamamamamamam by my 21 month old daughter.

Having said that I don't judge you at all for not liking it, we all have our preferences.

Perhaps a compromise - do you have any other nationalities mixed within you? Perhaps you could be Mere if you have French in you, Madre if Italian or Mana if Greek.

Otherwise if you are say Charlotte your DCs could have a special nickname that nobody else calls you for that name. For example if most others call you Charlie perhaps the DC could call you Char or Lotte if that makes sense.

Why should someone be called something they just don't want to be?

JJXM

Go with given name if it suits you better OP. Once she has a peer group she might insist on mummy herself, though.

My ds had a looooong phase of calling us by our names. Between about 2 1/2 and 4. I didn't mind and never corrected him but dh said it made him feel funny when he was out an about, like everyone'd assume he wasn't his father. Anyway it all stopped quite suddenly, I think when he started school

My dbro's best friend as a child used to call his parents by their names. I once heard him when we collected dbro from his house one night and when we left I said to my mum that I didn't know friend's parents weren't his actual parents, mum said they are love, he just doesn't use mum/dad. His little brother did though, I found it so strange. I do think a lot of people would make the assumption that when out with your dd and she called u that u weren't her mum. It is just so uncommon, most parents are mummy/daddy or some variant. I still think its strange not wanting to be called mummy by your child but its each to their own really, I wouldn't judge anyone for it, I just wouldn't understand any reasoning behind it.

I don't think it's at all uncommon, not among people I know, anyway, who are a mix of nationalities, often having children with someone of a different nationality and living in a third country. 'Mummy' sounds appallingly middle-class and twee to me - not originally from UK - and completely alien. It never occurred to me to use it, any more than it would have occurred to me to use 'maman' or 'Mutti'. My toddler calls me by my first name or a nickname of his own. Or 'pooface'.

I know the feeling and was very anti 'mummy' when my son was at the babbling stage - he called me 'mama' for ages but when he started to be aware of other children calling their parents 'mummy' he started using it for me. It definitely doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would, especially as he sort of saves 'mama' for when he really wants my attention so I do still hear it occasionally!

My husband has never been 'dad' or 'daddy' to his face, but if he's not here my son calls him 'daddy' so that other people will understand who he means, which I also find adorable (presumably because people tend to assume that he will be daddy and he has picked up on that - clearly a genius ).

Basically, I'm sure you will find whatever your daughter calls you adorable, but even though you can steer her in a certain direction, you might not be the one who gets to choose, ultimately.

I think it's up to you. Whatever you decide prepare for it to bellowed, winged, wailed and in the teenage years get a huffy "uh" at the end of it. My 14 year old DD does a good stroppy "Muuuummm-uh"

Thanks for replies - glad to see I'm not the only one who dislikes 'Mummy'!

I think wih regard to the wail of a name - any name - you're absolutely right of course but I have to confess there is just something about Mummy I don't like. I don't mind 'mum' as much but all in all if just prefer to be known by my first name.

If dd chooses to call me something else (within the realms of normality that is! ) then of course she can!

YABU.

It is unfair on your DD not to be able to call her Mum, Mum. Nits really very selfish IMO.

It's what you prefer OP
I would have been very upset if my dc hadn't wanted to call me mummy, it changed to mum after starting school and I'm still mum now the older ones are in their 20's.
I believe you only have one mum, she is the one that does the mothering.
I'm sure others have different opinions.
I don't allow grown ups to call me mum/mummy, I have a first name and insist everybody else calls me any variant of my first name, there are a few.

Of course it's your choice, and nobody else's business.

If you use childcare later I would mention it to the staff though, or there will be a lot of "you'll see mummy later", "mummy's hanging up your coat" etc. I get called "Mum" more by healthcare workers, nursery staff, and the general public than by my own children. (They use Mummy, or occasionally Mama which I much prefer)

Here it's "mummummummum" from the middle one or "muuuuuum" from the older one.

it is in no way unfair on the ops dc. She will still go "oh so my mum said. ...", she will still love her just as much. It's a bloody word. They will create something they're both comfortable and happy with.

My parents wanted me to call them by their first names... I can't remember if I ever did but certainly by the time I was at school I used 'mum and dad' to be like everyone else....sometimes kids decide for themselves, my DD uses mumma and mummy (and I LOVE it!)

My sister still calls our parents by their frirst names and it seems so cold and impersonal (that they don't want to be m&d)....a reflection of her childhood experiences IMO

It is unfair on your DD not to be able to call her Mum, Mum. Nits really very selfish IMO

What a load of bollocks.

In andy other circumstance, if someone was calling you something you didn't like, you'd have them stop. Whether it be a made-up nickname, or just a version of your own name that you don't like to use. (Jennifer, Jenny or Jen, for example).

This is no different because you happened to give birth to that person. Its not unfair. Names are about the person being called them, not those using them.

Ds' teacher called me mummy a few days ago. "so mummy what do you think about ds reading". I looked confused and reminded her she was a little old to be my child.

.

My DD used her dad's first name. Her brothers all used dad. One of my sons had a nickname for me and never called me mum. On the other hand he has a nickname for everyone.