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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Engaged but DP doesn't want to tell anyone

128 replies

Scoopmuckdizzy · 17/01/2015 11:36

DP proposed on Christmas Eve. It was lovely and we had a wonderful Christmas. He still won't tell anyone though which really bothers me. We live together and have 2 young DC so it's not like it's going to be that much of a shock to anyone.

We talked last night and I asked him why he doesn't want to tell anyone. He's not ready yet, apparently. He hasn't told his older 2DS who live with us pretty much 50:50 at the moment. I feel like he's ashamed of me and it's exactly the same as when I was pregnant - I had to hide it until just before twenty weeks the first time as it was a surprise and he didn't want to upset his DC, same with my second pregnancy which was hidden until about 4.5 months which wasn't easy.

I don't know if I'm feeling so crappy about this situation because of previous experience of feeling he was ashamed of me or if I have a point in feeling upset.

I've told my family but I can't tell my sister as she would definitely mention it in front of his DCs. I feel a bit strange saying 'we're going to get married but don't mention it if DP's DCs are around - he's not ready for them to know about it yet...'

So am I being unreasonable to be feeling so crappy about this? I can't even look at him this morning and feel like saying if I'm that bad then why on earth are you with me? I just need the MN perspective on this.

OP posts:
yellowdinosauragain · 19/01/2015 14:04

And if you don't get that most situations have more than one perspective then that's beyond me Hmm

yellowdinosauragain · 19/01/2015 14:05

Scoop I sincerely hope that you manage to sort this out, one way or another, so that you are happy with the outcome. All the best

Inkanta · 19/01/2015 14:11

'Bet he was pretending to make that phone call.Weirdo.

Yeah.

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