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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in thiking you don't generally tend to have sex with people who have been stalking you?

239 replies

RoyallyFuckedOff · 14/01/2015 20:48

And that teenager can't groom and adult? Angry

Iwww.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-30813335

From the judge Judge Greenberg said she believed the victim was "intelligent and manipulative" and "showed no compunction" about lying when it suited herJudge Greenberg said she believed the victim was "intelligent and manipulative" and "showed no compunction" about lying when it suited her

The charming fellow had sex with a teenager the same week his wife was miscarrying their baby and apparently that was grounds for him being "weak".

AIBU to think he is scum and that the judge is a rape myth peddling idiot who should never be allowed to hold a gavel after insulting a victim?

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6
MiscellaneousAssortment · 15/01/2015 01:41

The way she said it, with the inflammatory use of 'groomed', makes me think she was deliberately courting media attention.

What a foul woman. I wonder if she's happy with her trite and disgusting sentiments and her effect on underage victims everywhere. Well done you foul unprofessional unthinking and fucked up Hamm being. Well done.

alwaysstaytoolong · 15/01/2015 06:17

I had a huge crush on a 30 year old when I was 15. I 'pursued' him quite relentlessly. I was very bright, manipulative and experimenting with sexuality and did outrageous things I'm embarrassed about now.

He didn't shag me though as he wasn't a complete twat. Sadly, a few other men older than him were quite happy to do that once I turned 16.

At the time I thought it was because I was SO mature and sexy etc etc. Now I look back at 36 year olds having sex with a 16 year old and think Urgh.

Even if she'd been over the age of consent, not his pupil and he'd been single - a 44 year old having sex with a 16 year old is creepy as hell. Add in all the additional horrible facts and it's sickening.

Rebecca2014 · 15/01/2015 06:26

Fuck knows teacher-student relationships are rife in schools. But surely this is sending the wrong message to male teachers? If he was tried by a different judge I am sure he would seen jail time, he was just lucky to get that old sexist pig. Really more she be done on the state of judges as surely everyone should be getting same sentences in situation like this?

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 15/01/2015 06:45

I hope the Attorney General sends the sentence back to the Court of Appeal. Dominic Grieve might have; don't know about the new one.

millionsofpeaches · 15/01/2015 07:30

Really Rebecca ? Relationships between teachers and pupils are rife? On what evidence is that statement made? I have been a secondary school teacher for 10 yrs and have never come across an instance of a pupil-teacher relationship. I think saying it's a common thing is very dangerous as it is not widespread or in any way normal. Teachers who embark on relationships with pupils are always in the wrong whatever the circumstances. Please do not normalise something that is so reprehensible.

Andrewofgg · 15/01/2015 07:41

A-G will have a report from prosecuting counsel and the full transcript of the judge's sentencing remarks. If the sentence falls within guidelines (which are wide) it will not be referred only because the judge uttered a load of bollocks while passing it. But in this man's shoes I would leave the country and look for somewhere with no extradition.

I admit to being just ever so slightly amused by the sexist posters who assumed that the judge was male!

YonicSleighdriver · 15/01/2015 07:47

Well, that could be because of the comments, or it could be because a significant majority of judges are male!

www.theguardian.com/law/2012/sep/20/uk-female-judges-ratio-europe

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 15/01/2015 07:56

Thanks for that Andrew. It's been a while since I did sentencing for the LL.B.

Original poster
RoyallyFuckedOff · 15/01/2015 07:58

It might also be that the majority of sex abuse is by males and generally when you see the kind of rseveral threads latelys you wonder what the fuck the judge has been up to themselves.

When it comes to believing rape myths though women are definitely just as likely as men. As seen on sever

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Original poster
RoyallyFuckedOff · 15/01/2015 08:03

(not sure why my post garbled)

It might also be that the majority of sex abuse is by males and generally when you see these kind of judgments you wonder what the fuck the judge has been up to themselves.

When it comes to believing rape myths though women are definitely just as likely as men. As seen on several threads lately

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Greywackejones · 15/01/2015 08:07

How bloody depressing.

The chef Evans stuff got petitions. No point imo talking without doing. Is there/could a petition start? I'd sign.

Or have I missed a post entirely?

Greywackejones · 15/01/2015 08:12

Last point 'rape myths' have only extremely recently been known as such. I'm 38. Never heard that phrase til 2014. Great the fashion has / is changing however the rape myths were truths for the previous 37 years of my life. Which is why so many people believe them. It's great we are becoming more enlightened and educated but this imo is still a small group trying to change opinions. I Get fed up reading 'bewilderment that x believes y rape myth' it really just means they haven't yet accessed the educated truth properly. Even or especially people in power.

Catzeyess · 15/01/2015 08:14

FFS teenage girls can be a bit stalkery - me and my friends deffo had things for teachers at school! I cringe now at the stupid stuff we use to get up to, we thought we were all sexy and mature. Thank God the teachers were decent guys who steered well clear! As and adult it actually makes me feel a bit ill to think of what could have happened if some of my teachers were like this.

15/16 year old and a 44 year is creepy even if he wasn't a teacher!

Original poster
RoyallyFuckedOff · 15/01/2015 08:34

The term 'rape myths' is new but the idea that these are incorrect assumptions about rape are hardly new. Margaret Attwood does a pretty thorough take down of them in. Handmaidens tale which is hardly a new book. Several posters have linked www.gov.UK/complain-judge-magistrate-tribunal-coroner already. You're welcome to start a petition but it seems unwise when there us already a recognized method for having these things dealt with and petition isn't one of them.

Ched Evans was about getting the public to change a football clubs mind and petitions made sense

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Original poster
RoyallyFuckedOff · 15/01/2015 08:53

I really am shocked that the judge could justify "giving in to temptation" for 18 months? But the case is going to be reviewed now. Fucking ridiculous

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-30824569

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Original poster
RoyallyFuckedOff · 15/01/2015 08:56

Oh also to anyone filling out the form the only asterisked thing is the date of hearing I put yesterdays date assuming it was published on day of sentencing...but if you have Judge Joanna Greenberg QC and also the full story including his name it should be obvious who you are referring to.

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kawliga · 15/01/2015 09:11

I too am not shocked by the judge - there are many victim-blamers who think the most important thing in such a situation is the conduct/behaviour of the victim. I feel so sorry for the poor girl who has been publicly and officially blamed by a judge for being assaulted by her teacher. There must be so many other victims out there now questioning their own behaviour and deciding not to report as it is now official that it must be their own fault Sad

Andrewofgg · 15/01/2015 09:26

No point petitioning; the Law Officers and their people don't count names on forms. Nor should they. Imagine a world in which they counted names on petitions in both directions.

Yonic you are right but believe me that nowadays Talking Bollocks From The Bench is equal-opps, there are still more male than female judges but the women can speak rubbish as well as the men!

KneeQuestion · 15/01/2015 09:32

This is appalling.

I can only imagine how this girl feels about the judges remarks.

Dreadful decision.

Hatespiders · 15/01/2015 09:42

The inference made by this misguided apology for a judge is that all men are led by their genitalia and have no control over themselves. Thus when an 'opportunity' offers, (ie a young teenage schoolgirl with a crush, a small girl/boy in a vulnerable position in a children's home, a woman who is drunk, a child receiving instruction by a priest, a woman walking home at night unaccompanied, a woman in a short skirt etc) a man is only acting as nature intended by going ahead and raping her/him. One can't hold him responsible because men's sexual urges are overwhelmingly irresistible, and the victim was there, available and open to sex.
This is horribly insulting to the vast majority of men. If it were true, the stupid judge should conclude that men are daily raping victims left right and centre, since a man has carte blanche to be led by his sexual needs with impunity. Self-control and decency is IMO inherent in most men, plus a feeling of protection towards the young and vulnerable, plus respect for women in general.
This particular man is evil and manipulative. He is a rapist and a child-abuser, not a victim of his victim.
It's terrible to imagine how the young woman must be feeling now. 'It was all her fault for stalking and him'. Dear God...

Hatespiders · 15/01/2015 09:44

a redundant 'and' at the end there. Sorry!

Theboodythatrocked · 15/01/2015 10:06

It was headline news on radio 5 this morning and the Attorney General is going to investigate.

Outrage and the internet work!

Greywackejones · 15/01/2015 11:00

Thus proving my point. The ideas aren't new but they are only gaining serious traction now.

Better late than never I guess.

I'll look at the link thank you. Glad this is being reviewed. It's just so sad.

Tobyjugg · 15/01/2015 11:23

men are led by their genitalia and giving into temptation means a quick guilty fuck behind the bike sheds NOT an 18 month affair (if that's the right word).

Can we take a poll of how many men have had wives/partners who had difficult pregnancies and came to the conclusion that the best solution was to fuck a 15 year old in their care.

This is total bollocks and needs the AG to investigate and I'm glad he's doing it.

YonicSleighdriver · 15/01/2015 11:30

Has he been told off for tempting her by saying he had a condom for when she got too irresistible?

No?

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