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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To be late for parents evening

353 replies

42bunnytails · 12/01/2015 23:11

DD2 (Y9) has made an appointment with her German teacher.

She hates him, she's absolutely useless at German, gets put in detention and has made no progress in three years.

She's a straight A student at everything else

She's done it purely to see if I can keep a straight face, when she knows I think he's an idiot too.

It's not fair, she knows I had a fit of the giggles watching one of her class just wander off mid bollocking, leaving her parents to hear the end of it.

To make it worse you can see the French teacher trying not to giggle too

OP posts:
RufusTheReindeer · 13/01/2015 08:15

I don't think you are being completely unreasonable (mostly but not completely)

But I do think you have been completely unreasonable NOT to bring these issues up with the school

DoctorDonnaNoble · 13/01/2015 08:18

Thanks Bit, I'd meant to mention that. It's also not actually necessary to do EBacc. One of our best students (think 13 A* at GCSE) didn't get the EBacc as he didn't choose to do History or Geography. He did RS as his humanity but also did Latin and Greek!

RufusTheReindeer · 13/01/2015 08:24

doctor

I agree with you, but some schools are telling parents that a language is required for university

BitOutOfPractice · 13/01/2015 08:27

ONE language is required for the EB. Not 2.

TendonQueen · 13/01/2015 08:28

Ah, you're the person I read a rude and aggressive reply from on another thread. That fits. I think I see where the problem is.

benfoldsfive · 13/01/2015 08:33

You do know that your approach to you dc education, directly influences you dc approach, attitude and attainment?

Mrsjayy · 13/01/2015 08:34

You and your daughter sound like complete twats you have taught her how to take the piss well done you

natwebb79 · 13/01/2015 08:36

"Good linguists don't need to teach". As an MFL teacher who chose to teach because of my passion for promoting the rewards of learning other languages and the opportunities available I find that statement a bloody insult. No wonder so many of my talented and devoted colleagues are leaving the profession. Sad

msgrinch · 13/01/2015 08:37

I don't think you're mature enough to have kids. Seems like your dd is at best a brat.

well done you.

crumblebumblebee · 13/01/2015 08:42

I, too, find it hard to believe that your daughter is polite and respectful to this teacher.

Chandon · 13/01/2015 08:44

"Good linguists don't need to teach".

Some do. I know 2 very good linguists who teach secondary schools (state schools no less) as they feel strongly they want to share their love of languages and other cultures.

The pay is crap, but the reward is great, to them. They take in pride in their kids getting good grades.

This is for the teachers: Brew and Cake

TwinkieTwinkle · 13/01/2015 08:56

So we are all 'po faced' and ridiculous because you decided to post about a problem in a deliberately inflammatory way, knowing full well what response you would get, instead of fully explaining the actual problem?

Riiiiiiight.

ilovesooty · 13/01/2015 08:59

I know several talented, hard working and conscientious MFL teachers driven out of the profession by parents and pupils like the OP. In one case the breakdown he had due to the abuse he suffered brought his 24 year career to an end and nearly cost him his home, marriage and family. The OP's comments and attitude have made me feel as angry as I've ever felt here.

benfoldsfive · 13/01/2015 09:01

I wouldnt want to be a foreign language teacher, phse or drama teacher in a high school for triple the wages!!

QueenTilly · 13/01/2015 09:02

RufusTheReindeer may be a misunderstanding. A GCSE Modern Language is an "entry requirement" for applicants to UCL. If you don't have one, you're required to study a language up to GCSE level during your degree.

For 2012 entry, we are introducing a foreign language requirement for all UK students applying from the UK. Students can meet this requirement on entry by offering a GCSE or equivalent in a foreign language at Grade C or above. Students who have not been able to study for a language will not be disadvantaged in the application process. Those who not have a GCSE or equivalent in a foreign language will be able to meet the requirement through attendance at a UCL language summer school, taking a language course as part of their degree or studying for a language certificate at UCL’s Language Centre.

I do wonder what "have not been able to study for a language" means. Does it mean they don't discriminate against students for whom the option was literally unavailable, or they don't discriminate against students who picked something else?

ilovesooty · 13/01/2015 09:07

Yes benfoldsfive
Spot on. Just the subjects where the disaffected defy and abuse the teacher most frequently, with the backing of parents like the OP. And as a previous poster said, the bright and able disaffected pupils are the hardest to deal with. They're clever enough to know exactly how to do it knowing that in a school where SLT support is poor they've got the teacher exactly where they want them. The damage they do in their selfishness not only to teachers but pupils who want to learn is incalculable. They're the worst kind of bullies.
And parents like the OP facilitate and actively encourage this behaviour.

SuburbanRhonda · 13/01/2015 09:10

OP, use the school's complaints procedure to deal with any concerns you have.

Leave the childish behaviour to the children (with apologies to all children who would never behave in the way the OP is).

RufusTheReindeer · 13/01/2015 09:11

queen

Completely agree with you, but I know of a number of people that have been told that at a local school, and a number at another school who have been told that that's the reason why the school insists on a MFL

I did read up in it when ds1 was taking his options as although he was good at french he really didn't like it. Dd loves her German though!

benfoldsfive · 13/01/2015 09:15

ilovesnooty my Dd is in year 7 and french and drama are her favorite subjects. She now has outside tutoring, because pupils see them as a doss lesson and the teacher spends so much time policing. It drives me insane that teachers bonner have to support of parents "why have you given my son a detention? Who do you think you are? " as apposed to "why have you behaved so badly to deserve one? who do you think you are"

Lottiedoubtie · 13/01/2015 09:15

Don't feel too sorry for us drama teachers. Fortunately parents like the OP are still a minority and we have the compensation of teaching the best subject in the world Wink

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 13/01/2015 09:15

Jeez I really feel for Teachers, they get a lot of stick.

SuburbanRhonda · 13/01/2015 09:18

I also feel sorry for students like the OP's DD, having a parent who is so immature they find it funny to takes the piss out of a teacher.

Marshy · 13/01/2015 09:19

'that parent credits'

Well op, if these exist they don't I suspect you have used them up both here and at school.

QueenTilly · 13/01/2015 09:27

Rufus oh dear. Then some people at the school are misinformed or lying.

Even if you take the most conservative interpretation and assume UCL has only sought to avoid disadvantaging students who literally couldn't take any languages for GCSE, it's still just the one university. It's been frequently proposed over the last few years that other universities follow UCL's example, but I don't think they will.

Mind you, if I were an MFL secondary teacher, this thread showcases why I might feel tempted to lie to pupils! Blush

Original poster
42bunnytails · 13/01/2015 09:33

As ItsAllKickingOffPru says MFL are the Poor Relation

Complaining is futile because I know the school are well aware that they have a problem with uptake and results in this subject and with French to a lesser extent.

Detentions and their reasons are logged on a computer system which is sent to tutors as well as available to the SLT. They know if a particular teacher puts lots of normally well behaved pupils in detention on a regular basis.

They know, but what choice do they have. The teacher in question isn't bad enough to be put on capability and at least his classes don't turn in to a riot.

Yes in year 7 I bought DD2 dictionaries and tried to help her, but I have a total blank spot for Languages. I can't even count in French. When nothing was in English at all, I was utterly lost.

DH tried a bit, he knows a tiny bit of practical German from work trips, (and has O'level Latin and French), but even he took hours with a dictionary and the web to translate one HW sheet.

Given we all believed she could drop it at the end of Y7 (DD1 and following years got a choice) we didn't worry that much as she gets very good grades in everything else.

I'm just frustrated I guess that school decided to try and tackle the German results and uptake problem by making DCs do another two years without properly reviewing why most ditched so quickly.

OP posts: