WIBU to consider writing to every man in the world

[TheRealAmandaClarke]

To inform them all (probably leave Dh out of the round robin) that I do not want to have sex with them unless and until further formal notice from me?

As it seems that there is such confusion among so many people about the nature of consent I want to avoid putting any of them in the terribly awkward position of wondering whether simply being in the same room as them means they are invited to stick their dick in me.
So is that an unreasonable proposition?

tiggy a declaration of non consent is not an accusation of wrong doing.
You are missing the point and your ignorance is no excuse for suggesting that the issue of equality should be ignored or marginalised

Well, this seems to be an absolutely perfect thread to post a link to the Norman Awards on.

No doubt the same posters who didn't get the irony of the OP's post will jump up and down about the Norman Awards as well.

We're a bit short of Normans at the mo, there are so many #NotNormans out there waiting for their awards, so we'd appreciate any Norman stories you've got.

Hope this slight hijack is allowed, it's relevant to the thread because it deals with the same issue: consent and how women are deemed to be permanently in a state of consent unless they make it crystal clear they're not (which we're not socialised to do).

Very pleased to have been 'mistaken' for buffy

I think that was just a non-specific put down to give anything you say less weight Pan. Standard debate technique.

Not no-specific at all. Please see my previous post :)

No, Pan, I'm not confused. I'm a regular on FWR and I'm not comfortable with your posts regarding Buffy and other posters (including myself under various name change)

briefly Buffy

• no it wasn't unfounded, and you've been extremely aggressive and insulting prior to that - your 'poor me' stance is risible.
• I rarely wander over to the FWR nor read it these days, so it looks like exchanges will be minimal. Amen to that.

bye

Pan, I have been ignoring it until now, but yes, I did find your behaviour on this thread questionable, and it is not a "debating technique". You have been obsessing over the identity of Amanda for pages now, and now, it has not come across as a 'joke'. It came across as if you hadn't understood her joke that her real life name wasn't TheRealAmandaClarke. This may or may not be the case.

The attempt to put her down by outing her as Buffy also came across as pretty unpleasant. I'd tend to use stronger terms than 'creepy' but it does well enough.

Note this well, Pan. I have not bothered with advanced search, or consulted anyone else about it, and that came across very clearly as an expression of the huge grudge you have with Buffy. You won't know my name from FWR, but that doesn't mean I didn't see the threads as they were live.

Hey, Tiggy, specific enough for you?

DH reckons your ego would put most men off of you OP.

Good post, queenT.

Again, if you want to let bygones be bygones, or even if you feel that a specific poster has been aggressive to you, why pick her name for your "joke" for any other reason than you want her to come on the thread?

It's baffling.

I could write a post saying that I didn't want to be a pilot.

Would people come on and suggest "well, no one would want to be flown by you anyway, so your wishes shouldn't even be expressed"?

Good post queentilly

Sweet OP, no worries. Your ego will stop you getting raped.

That is actually hilarious madame

I'm not sure most rapists give a shit about the ego or indeed any aspect of their victim's personality MadameC.

Well I think Pan will continue to look out for any reason to insult or pick a fight with Buffy because that's what he does to anyone who opposes him on the FWR threads.

I am still baffled by those who don't understand that it is not the OP who thinks that all men need a clear instruction that she is not consenting - it is all the rape myth pedlars and rape apologists who go around saying that unless a man hears "no" and/or is being fought off then how can he POSSIBLY know that a woman didn't want to have sex with him. Don't get upset with the OP about it, she's just extrapolating what they're saying to show how absurd it is. Get upset with those who think so little of men that they are willing to excuse rapists

So we should think more of ourselves and have some self respect, definitely don't be the type to show off our bodies because men will think we are easy and want to rape us.

But we should also be careful to not be overly full ourselves because that would make us totally undesirable to men and stuck up man haters

What is the acceptable amount of self worth so that you can avoid rape but also not be "a stuck up bitch"

the use of that statement as an insult is quite fascinating and bit disturbing.

Very! I've been trying not to say this - the number of posters who've basically said "are you hot enough to rape?" is horrifying. Sickening, even.
Do those posters feel violent assault is a normal response to finding someone attractive?

To all the "NAMALT, how insulting" posters - Are you equally incensed by all the warning messages about unlicensed cab drivers, which imply even more strongly that they are rapists?

What about the warnings never to leave a drink unattended - is this an insult to your brothers, who might buy a woman a drink some time?

Maybe the letter could be simplified if it's too hard to grasp? It could just say "no matter who you are or what you think, don't touch me in any way unless I clearly indicate that it's ok, emergency situations excepted".

You think that is simple, but what you will get is:

Why would I want to touch you, are you hot? Do you think you're so irresistible? You're so full of yourself. My husband says he wouldn't want to touch you anyway.

p.s: why do men want to touch you, what are you wearing? Are you giving off come-hither vibes?

should buffy be flattered to have attracted some stalking?

Thank you petula very well put.

To (slightly mis)quote you Pan.

We await your apology.

Pan, buffy wasn't even on this thread when you said her name and were rude about her

PG - fwiw I'm not referring specifically to this thread, and neither was herself when she advised me where to go and how to get there.