to be a bit fed up.. negitive home birth comments

[ghostspirit]

im going to have a home birth. and i have not had one positive comment. its all been things like. something might go wrong. oh thats dangerous. what do you want to do that for. aww what about the mess.

You're well within your rights to tell people to fuck off, IMO!

Or you could be more polite, as posters have suggested I wouldn't and say 'Well, that's your opinion but I've made my decision.' and repeat as necessary.

"hank goodness I was as everything that could go wrong did with my DS. My room was full of doctors sticking things in his unborn head and running off to get it tested etc it was manic but they got him out via forceps with a team on stand by for an emergency caesarean in theatre. Everyone was amazing I felt so lucky to have them all there at my side working as a team with all the necessary equipment."

Norfolkandchance1234 Do you think you were the victim of a cascade of intervention? Sometimes hospitals cause the problems in the first place that the mother and baby are "saved" from. Hospital protocal and excessive monitoring are well known to cause problems. This image explains the problems well.

transform.childbirthconnection.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/cascade-of-intervention-559x522.jpg

If homebirth is half as dangerous as some posters claim then why are there not more deaths at homebirths?

Would there be uproar on this site if someone suggested that a woman in hospital having an epidural is selfish? So what if she is an absolutely agony and wants to die. Certainly having pain relief is not interests of the baby at all as it dramatically increases the chances of problems. (Incidently I had an epidural with my first baby without any problems. I am not anti epidural.)

I feel that calling women selfish for making an informed birth decision is
misogynistic. The nhs offers a range of options because every woman is different.

Yes -I know what you mean. We only mentioned our plans to a few people for HB with second and got universally negative responses. So kept quiet - and found family were really shocked when they found out.

Despite having had two straightforward births - a low risk pg still had a huge number of people trying to talk sense into us - when we wanted a second HB.

I think ReallyTired is right its a very emotionally charged subject and obviously not an option for every labouring woman and there is always the possibility of transfer to hospital but it got very annoying the constant assumption that we hadn't done our research, that we didn't understand and hadn't thought about risks and that we were being basically stupid.

Home birth may be safer IF NO COMPLICATIONS occur; but if something goes wrong then baby would be safer if it was surrounded by doctors instead of midwives.
Most likely you will have a great experience (isn't it a selfish concept, the fact that we put the quality of the "experience" before baby's safety?), nobody likes hospitals after all...
Like soneone said above, we are the only mammal who gives birth outside their natural environment (the hospital).
{ sigh }

People who haven't researched it don't seem to realise that home borth actually reduces the risk of complications. No cascade of intervention, no ve's unless you want, less stressful environment, no time limits.

I suspect many women who had a section for failure to progress (including me 2 years ago) think it was necessary and baby would have been ar risk otherwise. But had they not been in hospital to begin with it might not have got to that stage.

People really need to know the facts before criticising. There is a time and a place for a medicalised birth (I'd have loved one if it would have saved my daughters life, as it is she died) and a time and a place for a totally 'natural' birth (can't think of the right word to use), and everything in between.

Actually midwives are great at dealing with complications. Not everything requires a consultant or surgeon.

Well all I can say is if I had your first experience ghostspirit I would also be choosing the home birth option. Good luck with it when the time comes.

I was lucky to not get too many negative comments. I just said "I've done my research and made my choice, if you don't like it YOU push out the baby". FWIW, second birth was a lovely home birth, no mess. First was a hospital birth which was totally the right option for me at that time, so I'm not particularly pro one or the other, just what's right for each woman in each pregnancy.

People commenting about risks and needing to be near doctors etc seem to have missed that you labour quickly. It's not so much a case of hospital vs home if you have fast labours. It's home birth with a midwife or two, totally focused on you... vs unassisted birth on the roadside because you labour so quickly that it's over before you get anywhere. Everyone is different and everyone needs to be happy with their own choices and remove their beaks from yours!

MusyFoxy I can't speak for everyone, but the idea of homebirth being a 'great experience' isn't a selfish one. All those things that help you relax and feel comfotable (and therefore may sound like selfish wants) are in fact ALL about getting the baby out as safely as possible. Nothing else.

Fear is a terrible thing in helping a birth progress quickly and safely. So making as pleasant an environment for yourself as possible (within the confines of what has been deemed safe for that pregnancy) is nothing to criticise. It's the same reason you might take your own books, pillow, nightie, snacks, birth partner into hospital with you.

Sorry MumsyFoxy, not MusyFoxy!

It's home birth with a midwife or two, totally focused on you... vs unassisted birth on the roadside because you labour so quickly that it's over before you get anywhere.

I had rapid labours and it was a major reason to have HB for last two DC.

However I even had a MW claimed with third DC that rapid labour wouldn't happen - she was anti HB. I believed the previous MW team who said I was at high risk of rapid labour having had two very quick ones and they proved right.

We had people tell us we were being silly of course we'd get to hospital in time ( we didn't stand a chance as it was the quickest yet).

I had a friend first labour was over 24 hours but whose second was only a few hours - they thought they had time but by time babysitter for DC had turned up and they done the short drive - she ended up giving birth in the car park of the hospital. Everything was fine - but she said it's not an experience you want to go through.

My second labour could have been a home birth. I had it at a mw led centre attached to the hospital and had pretty much no intervention.

I would however never have a home birth as the thought of being at home does not make me feel relaxed, it makes me feel anxious and panicky...the opposite of what I have heard others say!

"Most likely you will have a great experience (isn't it a selfish concept, the fact that we put the quality of the "experience" before baby's safety?), nobody likes hospitals after all..."

It is not a fact that babies are less safe at home than in a hospital. There are plenty of research studies that show that home birth with a qualified midwive is safe for both mother and baby. (Why bother to look at research if you have already formed an opinon based on anedotes?) Is a second time mother with no risk of complications really putting her baby's safety at risk for the sake of her comfort? Statistics show that having a homebirth is only marginally more risky for the baby for a first time mother. For a second time low risk mother the baby is as safe at home than in a hospital.

www.nct.org.uk/birth/home-birth-safe

Being devil's advocate pain relief is putting the quality of the "experience" above the baby's safety? There are zero benefits for the baby allowing the mother to have pain relief. Pethidine can cause respirtatory problems in babies and an epidural affects a woman's ablity to push. Even mild pain relief like gas and air can affect a woman's ablity to think. Statistically a baby is more likely to die or suffer brain damage or have a disablity or need special care if the mother has an epidural or pethidene.

At what point to do you decide the mother is nothing more than a vessel and her comfort/ safety should be ignored? I think its wrong to always put the baby first. If you don't look after the mother she can end up with awful post traumatic stress/ postnatal depression. Believe it or not, postnatal depression can really harm children. (Including in rare cases death)

Thankfully the existance of high quality midwives mean whatever birthing option a mother chooses the risks to the baby is small.

IMO, the safety issue is a complicated one. Women who have home births are more likely to have low risk pregnancies, women with higher risk pregnancies are more likely to be in hospital, but presumably are more likely to have things go wrong (otherwise why are they classed as high risk?). Plus when you add the cascade of intervention that may also skew statistics.

My first labour was on and off for 3 days. Pethedine played a part in that as it knocked me out completely. And going back and forth from the hospital twice. Maybe if I'd been at home it would have been different.

Second baby was planned home birth, although after the length of my first labour I was reluctant to call the MW too early and ended up giving birth in the pool 15 minutes before she arrived whilst DH was rushing around turning the heating up and warming blankets. It was only a 4 hour labour BUT I'd had niggles all day and it ramped up once DD was in bed so I was fairly sure I was giving birth that night. So although you had a quick labour last time, you may be more aware of labour being imminent.

I loved my home birth, I loved being able to go and have a shower in my own bathroom, drink tea from my own kitchen. I also like the fact that DS's birth cert has our address as his place of birth!

Home births can be wonderful but prepare for your birth not to go to plan.

My planned home birth resulted in a late transfer to hospital due to heavy bleeding.

My planned hospital birth (so as not to disturb DD) resulted in home birth in hallway delivered by DH!

What will be will be...ignore comments and just see what happens.

My SIL had home births with both of hers and it worked best for her, she was more comfortable being at home and not in a hospital, had 2 midwives with her the whole time, no complications and a really quick recovery. It wasn't for me for personal reasons and because I carry group B strep so need antibiotics in labour.

My sister had a home birth for her third, she was 1/2 mile from the hospital, delivered fine but had to go to the hospital due to placenta getting stuck which was just bad luck.

I wouldn't worry about the negativity, I am going to have a home birth next time, my first birth was fast so I am worried that I won't get to the hospital in time! My midwife suggested this when my DD was 3 days old!

However do be flexible about your birth plan, it may not go accordingly and if you are late and need to induced you will need to be in a hospital anyhow.

Remember late isn't until 42+1

my last child was born in about 20 mins. had no time at all was just me and my then 3 year old in the house.

i have not been told if i can have a home birth yet. not sure if they can say no really. unless can get hospital in time. i very much doubt that

i have not been told if i can have a home birth yet

You dont get told if you can (although they would like you to think that), you tell them that you are birthing at home and they have to provide you with a midwife in order to do that, by law.

I should add that even if you and the baby were sure to die if you birthed at home, and you insisted on doing it anyway then they cant stop you and must still provide a mw to deliver you. They can try and persuade you to go to hospital but you are within your rights to refuse.

oh i was told i could not last time because i was anaemic it happend anyway. but i was still told no

Where in the uk are you ghost?

They can strongly advise you against it but legally they cant refuse you. Obviously some will tell you that you are not allowed because they dont want you to, but they are not supposed to.