To get irritated when people who wear expensive clothes sneer at those that don't?

[2015Queen]

I just think it's so rude, snobby and nasty. We can't all afford designer and high end clothing, and it doesn't make someone a total scumbag if they choose to/have to wear cheaper clothes.

DH's friend and his wife both wear designer and high end high street clothes, and dress their 3 year old daughter in the same way. Fair enough, that's their choice and they all always look nice. However it irritates me that they look down on others who don't dress as they do (such as me, DH and our kids!). It's little things like asking where an item DD is wearing is from and if we reply it's from Asda/Next/Tesco they pull a bit of a face and say how they would simply never shop there. They also make a big deal about how they would never shop in Primark as they think it's horrible and that they'd hate anyone to see them going in or coming out of there. They were also once totally disgusted when I said DS's trousers were from a charity shop, and one of them made a jokey gagging noise.

I also used to work with a woman a few years ago who referred to lots of high street shops as "common" and "disgusting" and made a huge thing about only shopping at places like Reiss, Selfridges, Karen Millen etc. She always talked about how great her wardrobe was and how she could never bring herself to shop in the shops that the rest of us shopped in.

These kinds of attitudes really bug me. It's just so nasty and unnecessary. By all means buy clothes wherever you want to and can afford to, but don't assume that anyone that doesn't go to the same places it beneath you!

I've worked in Fashion Design, unless you're buying couture or bespoke the rest is a 'much of a muchness

I'm not sure I agree. I have a coat from these designers. It's a black double breasted greatcoat made from a heavy wool material, the type used in military coats. The top is very tailored with a very full skirt which seems to be all one piece but has pleating and folding so complicated and expertly done I can't work out how they did it. It is a beautiful piece and I've never seen anything like it on the high street.

www.hemyca.com/collections/aw14/

If they're saying this to your face, then it will be 10 times as nasty behind your back. Life is too short to use any of your precious minutes with these toxic people, putting others down in order to feel good about themselves. If the friend is DH's then he can go meet him at the pub, golf club, wherever, but I certainly wouldn't be welcoming them into my home.

I've worked in Fashion Design, unless you're buying couture or bespoke the rest is a 'much of a muchness

I dont agree- the fabric makes a massive difference.

I admit to feeling like a bit of a pauper when a colleague mentioned she had just bought a pair of knee high boots for £260. There was me, stood with my £20 fake leather New Look boots (originally £40). I bought brown as black non leather look boots tend to look extremely synthetic.

Having to buy cheap really is crap sometimes.

tobysmum- I am in the same position.

I hate wasting money on clothes. I earn more than I need, so save the rest.
I could afford to spend lots of money on clothes but I refuse to.

95% of clothes that I own come from jumble sales and second hand shops. I have cashmere coats that cost me (£1)- so I am glad some people spend lots!!

I spend £40 a year or so on clothes for myself- phaedra not all second hand shops are selling old modern clothes. I have a couple of independant charity shops near me in very well heeled areas and the stuff is amazing, lots of vintage stuff too.

"New money", "nouveau riche" do people really talk like that?

The sneering at people who do buy more expensive stuff is worse than the people who don't.

I don't justify what I buy because I don't really care what others think of me, in relation to what I wear.

OP - get new friends.

I have never encountered this in real life but I wouldn't waste time & energy on a friend who looked down on me.

I think that's the crux of the matter- it's the choice of friends here,not the choice of clothes.

People who are friends will not sneer at you for any reason.

Why choose to have friends who will sneer at you for any reason?

I don't know many people like this. I am a supermarket/ high street girl through and through but recently bought a (heavily reduced) paul
Smith dress for a wedding and the cut makes it football beauftifully. I had tried about 20 cheaper high street offerings and they all looked terrible. I made a 2014 resolution to buy more quality clothes (from ebay etc) but I think I may actually try to stick to it this year, while some cheap clothes are great quality, some are false economy.

I do have the odd thing that was more expensive but tbh personally I would keep it quiet unless someone directly asked me.

Children generally wear hand me downs from friends' children/ clothes from supermarket. DD wanted some LKs, she had them for Christmas.

I just dont understand the mentality of showing off because of what something cost. To me it indicates they aren't actually as well off as they try to pretend.

Don't really get this thread. OP's friends are just thick and unpleasant. The clothing aspect is a red herring. Why would you ever spend a moment in their company?

"These kinds of attitudes really bug me."

OP - rise above them. I find attitudes like thse hilarious- it shows people to be narrow minded and says far more about them and their petty little lives.

Most of all don't seek out the company of these types- they are not worth spending time with.

I think it smacks of insecurity...they need their 'high end' clothes and to be able to look down on people to feel good about themselves.

I have a friend who similarly really only shops in Karen Millen, Ted Baker, Whistles etc.....shops that I personally never go in because I don't think they provide good value for money. But she never looks down on my Primark bargains, and never makes catty remarks when I spend a stupid amount on something really top end. Because she's a nice person!

Me and most of my other friends (who all earn decent salaries in case that's relevant) dress at both ends of the scale, from Primark and charity shops right up to 'proper' designer. And a lot of my designer bits I've picked up second hand. I actually find that 'high end high st' isn't generally for me (unless there's an amazing sale on!), but that's just my personal view and I wouldn't inflict it on anyone else!

Horses for courses...and as PPs have said, change your friends!

With friends like that You won't need enemies. I would question if you really need them in your life.
Next time they ask why don't you say 'why is it so important to you, we clearly have different priorities'.
I shop a mixture of high st and a few items more 'designer'. I do love my clothes and fashion, I love how people put stuff together and wear with flair. I doesn't have to be high end to look good. But while I sometimes rate my clothes and handbags by the tag on their inside or how they look, I never rate my friends by the same system. I would simply avoid anyone who rated me by that system!

The other side of it is they might be a bit insecure and admire your flair and the ways you can look great by spending less, plus you re probably overall happier and nicer than them and they might envy the freedom you have from contriving to look a certain way or show off a certain way. The responses of eye rolling and 'I d never buy there' however merit an equally scornful eye roll from yourself and if you re brave enough a smile and a cheery 'oh don't we know it.'

Time to spend less time with them and more time valuing the real pals in your life x

*"New money", "nouveau riche" do people really talk like that?

The sneering at people who do buy more expensive stuff is worse than the people who don't*

YY, Ken, I see a lot of this on MN and it's bizarre. I've never heard anyone saying these things seriously IRL. 'New money' seems absolutely sneered at but if your wealth is inherited or you're 'properly' posh/rich, you can do whatever the hell you want!

OP, these people are not worth holding onto as friends. They're setting a horrible example for their DCs.