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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get irritated when people who wear expensive clothes sneer at those that don't?

167 replies

2015Queen · 06/01/2015 16:01

I just think it's so rude, snobby and nasty. We can't all afford designer and high end clothing, and it doesn't make someone a total scumbag if they choose to/have to wear cheaper clothes.

DH's friend and his wife both wear designer and high end high street clothes, and dress their 3 year old daughter in the same way. Fair enough, that's their choice and they all always look nice. However it irritates me that they look down on others who don't dress as they do (such as me, DH and our kids!). It's little things like asking where an item DD is wearing is from and if we reply it's from Asda/Next/Tesco they pull a bit of a face and say how they would simply never shop there. They also make a big deal about how they would never shop in Primark as they think it's horrible and that they'd hate anyone to see them going in or coming out of there. They were also once totally disgusted when I said DS's trousers were from a charity shop, and one of them made a jokey gagging noise.

I also used to work with a woman a few years ago who referred to lots of high street shops as "common" and "disgusting" and made a huge thing about only shopping at places like Reiss, Selfridges, Karen Millen etc. She always talked about how great her wardrobe was and how she could never bring herself to shop in the shops that the rest of us shopped in.

These kinds of attitudes really bug me. It's just so nasty and unnecessary. By all means buy clothes wherever you want to and can afford to, but don't assume that anyone that doesn't go to the same places it beneath you!

OP posts:
PhaedraIsMyName · 06/01/2015 21:32

I tend to despise people who wear expensive clothes.

What narrow - mindedness. Wearing cheap clothes doesn't make a nasty person nicer.

I spend a lot on clothes, not High Street, not flashy designer labels , but expensive, well made clothes , mainly from the UK, a couple of French designers and one Dutch. None of them are fancy big name brands, and like others I'm smirking a bit at Reiss or Karen Millennium being high end.

I get a lot of pleasure out of it. It helps support local , independent shops and my clothes aren't made in sweat shops.

The first really good piece I bought was a grey flannel suit with a black velvet shawl collar for £600 in 1990 to go back work after maternity leave. I outgrew the skirt years' ago but the jacket is going strong still.

I also have a collection of Hermès scarves. A cheap high street scarf really doesn't begin to compare on feel, colour, design and durability.

I like second hand shops and have some lovely 50s stuff.

TheIronGnome · 06/01/2015 21:44

Phaedrals you're calling people 'narrow minded' but then 'smirking' at other people's ideas of 'high end'. Is that not a touch hypocritical? For many people, reiss and Karen Millen are high end brands, I have never bought from reiss but have a couple of things from Karen Millen and I consider the £75 I spent on a top in there expensive, high end and a treat to myself.

Expensive is all relative, sucky attitudes are just that. Op those people sound awful.

ImperialBlether · 06/01/2015 21:54

The fact is that anyone who judges someone else on what they wear (in terms of price) is a complete twat. By all means, if you have the money, buy what you love and enjoy it.

The people referred to in the OP have no class, no manners and no sense.

hmc · 06/01/2015 21:59

A lot of people do this although are usually not so open in their sneering. It's very common place - and a horrible prejudice.

PhaedraIsMyName · 06/01/2015 22:04

Karen Milan and Reiss are high street shops with branches everywhere. That's a fact. Doesn't stop their stuff being nice or a treat. If you like it, you like it. KM I'd probably think is too young for me and Reiss a bit over fancy.

I used to have a beautiful black silk taffeta skirt with a cotton underskirt from Karen Millan which I loved but if anyone is going to try to show off about clothes they just look daft suggesting they top end.

maddening · 06/01/2015 22:05

They are rude and thankfully a majority of people don't behave like that - additionally lots of people sneer at others who are different and even inverse snobbery is the same - it is not a pleasant trait at all no matter who the sneeree is and what and whom they are sneering at (the sneeree)

TyrannosaurusBex · 06/01/2015 22:08

I choose not to buy sweatshop-made clothes myself and it surprises me when relatively well-off people are happy to do so. Other than that, I couldn't give a toss where people shop - I do like a creative outfit so I'm a great admirer of anyone who can put together an interesting look from charity shops, independent sellers etc.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 06/01/2015 22:10

I applaud anyone who can be bothered to take the time to look for the bargains in Primarni. My mates have some great stuff from there, I just never seem to find it if I do venture in!

I do however hate going in Charity Shops as I find they smell, but again I have seen people in lovely clothes from them.

DotMcStuffins · 06/01/2015 22:16

I used to feel bad about buying DD last season's stuff half price from M&P. Now I think I'd feel a bit stupid if I paid full price!
On the adult side of things, a work colleague is very sneery about non-designer clothes, while she wears brands that drown her and do nothing to disguise the fact that she's short and dumpy (miaow!)

bonhomme · 06/01/2015 22:18

I think most people grow out of that designer clothing thing once they have responsibilities/have children. If they don't, I tend to think it's a bit strange - guess I'm a bit of a judgey pants Blush

honeycrest · 06/01/2015 22:19

Your friends are knobs but some of the comments in here are just as bad. People who wear designer clothes are dense and to be despised etc. It's pathetic.

I have some designer bags and shoes. The shoes mostly were bought at a discount from the outnet.com or other outlet stores. Sorry but they look and wear better than a high street version, that's a fact. I generally don't buy high street bags anymore as in my experience they fall apart and look terrible after not much use. If anyone asks I usually get embarrassed admitting that they are designer in case they think I'm like the people mentioned in the OP. Most of my clothes are from the likes of topshop or asos.

Also Reiss, Karen Millen etc are the high end of the high street but they are by no means high end clothes.

iklboo · 06/01/2015 22:19

A friend was a bit sneery the other week because she never pays less than £35 for a pair of knickers. A PAIR! Shock

I'd rather spend that sort of money (she obviously must have several pairs) on DH, DS and actual clothes!

She won't spend less than £150 on a pair of shoes either.

It must be me - and my 'HOW BLOODY MUCH??' upbringing.

ImperialBlether · 06/01/2015 22:31

Yes, but ikiboo, there's no way of verifying that, is there? How many times have you seen her knickers?

notauniquename · 06/01/2015 22:41

don't feel irritated, feel pity for these people who lead such vacuous lives that the shop that sold their clothes rates anywhere near important enough to even ask...

MakeMeWarmThisWinter · 06/01/2015 22:44

I like and wear expensive clothes, not all the time as I can't afford it, but I have a winter coat from Cos and several designer handbags which I love. Mostly I had to really stretch myself to afford them - does that make me trashy and nouveau riche?

I don't sneer at anyone though, is that ok? Am I still to be despised?

MakeMeWarmThisWinter · 06/01/2015 22:46

Actually just turn the OP around to get my opinion:

AIBU to get irritated when people who don't wear expensive clothes sneer at those who do?

Because there is a hell of a lot of sneering on this thread Hmm

greenbananas · 06/01/2015 23:09

This thread is making me laugh! Where I live, anything without holes in is considered pretty posh! okay, so it's one of the most deprived areas in the country, but at least we don't have to deal with this kind of ridiculous and pointless snobbery!

children here are judged (if they are judged at all, which is very rarely) on their behaviour, their general cuteness, their state of cleanliness and whether or not they get to school on time. I honestly don't think anyone gives a monkeys what they wear. labelling clothes at school is important though, because a lot of children have the same cheap coats from asda, primark etc.

We have a legendary pair of oshkosh dungarees that has been worn by nine local children in the last five years and is still going strong. We don't underrate quality, but we wouldn't pay over the odds for mere style. Good clothes don't go to waste, they are handed down again and again.

I went to a posh and upper class sort of grammar school, and have come to the conclusion that only the middle class care about this sort of thing. truly posh people people are happy to wear hand me downs, and the really skint don't care either.

greenbananas · 06/01/2015 23:12

(I am not sneering at middle class people, by the way! I think some of the children's clothes mentioned on this thread are lovely, and would probably buy them if I could - it's just that I don't think it's that important in the scheme of things)

MakeMeWarmThisWinter · 06/01/2015 23:15

This thread is starting to remind me of the thread in S and B ages about about Chanel handbags Grin it had loads of posters saying it was only a certain sort of person who was allowed to wear them, and basically it was inherited money - anything you earn yourself and spend on treats is sooo nouveau. Or summat.

Maybe I should ditch my Anya Hindmarch bag for a poly bag and sackcloth - no matter how much I earn I don't have the right to own it unless it was a family heirloom.

Some, not all, MNers are obsessed with class. Not me - I just like it when I have money and appreciate being able to buy little treats that make me smile. They're not for anyone's benefit but mine.

It's a sort of inverse snobbery to care so much and sneer at other people's choices.

LoisWilkerson15 · 06/01/2015 23:21

Judging people on their attire, cheap or expensive is twattish. Yanbu. I love a mix of stuff. I live in a place which has rich people and poor people with not many in between. The attitudes towards each other is always very shallow and usually based on clothing/car/house. Pisses me off.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 06/01/2015 23:48

Plus a cotton sundress for £50 usually washes as well as a £6.99 one.

You won't find much designer children's wear for £50 unless it's in the sale.

stopgap · 06/01/2015 23:57

I like a bit of both. I do like Alice and Olivia or Alexander Wang dresses for evenings out, but equally feel comfortable traipsing round the fields with no make-up, ancient duck boots and my husband's parka. I actually feel more judged (especially when visiting my family in the north of England) when sporting my scruffs.

VioletandRoger · 06/01/2015 23:58

Where I live lots of professional middle class people visit the 5 town charity shops and buy amazing clothes. Quite often name brand. It's the more mainstream low earners or very bling bling big earners (100k) that buy name branded stuff new.

WinterShivers · 07/01/2015 00:08

I find it disgusting how they can ask you where you buy your daughters clothes from, if I were you I would not let them back in the house and stop speaking to them completely.

As long as the clothes we wear are decent and clean, what does it matter?

Bogeyface · 07/01/2015 03:31

Oh, trash with cash!

I LOVE people like that, they are comedy gold! So obsessed with how much something costs that they totally miss how much things are worth, like class which costs nothing and yet is priceless :)