To get irritated when people who wear expensive clothes sneer at those that don't?

[2015Queen]

I just think it's so rude, snobby and nasty. We can't all afford designer and high end clothing, and it doesn't make someone a total scumbag if they choose to/have to wear cheaper clothes.

DH's friend and his wife both wear designer and high end high street clothes, and dress their 3 year old daughter in the same way. Fair enough, that's their choice and they all always look nice. However it irritates me that they look down on others who don't dress as they do (such as me, DH and our kids!). It's little things like asking where an item DD is wearing is from and if we reply it's from Asda/Next/Tesco they pull a bit of a face and say how they would simply never shop there. They also make a big deal about how they would never shop in Primark as they think it's horrible and that they'd hate anyone to see them going in or coming out of there. They were also once totally disgusted when I said DS's trousers were from a charity shop, and one of them made a jokey gagging noise.

I also used to work with a woman a few years ago who referred to lots of high street shops as "common" and "disgusting" and made a huge thing about only shopping at places like Reiss, Selfridges, Karen Millen etc. She always talked about how great her wardrobe was and how she could never bring herself to shop in the shops that the rest of us shopped in.

These kinds of attitudes really bug me. It's just so nasty and unnecessary. By all means buy clothes wherever you want to and can afford to, but don't assume that anyone that doesn't go to the same places it beneath you!

It's threads like this that make me think I live in a cosseted, parallel universe. I don't know anyone who would make comments like this, let alone two separate lots of people.

People I know wear a mix of everything, and nobody would be so uncouth/clueless as to comment on other people's clothing, except to be complimentary.

Honestly, who are these people...?

I know people like this. It's infuriating. Does buying more expensive clothes make you a better person? No. You're still a knob.

I buy clothes because I like them, because they fit well and make me feel good. It doesn't matter if they're a primark special, or a designer brand. That said, if I do go nuts and buy designer or high end high street I will only buy classic pieces in "safe" colours. 2 years ago splurged (in the sale) on a charcoal ted baker pencil skirt for work. It fits like a dream is still in v good condition (despite being machine washed not dry cleaned). And looks best when teamed with a shirt from h&m and a primark blazer.

2 grown adults look down on people who aren't in designer wear. I think instead of buying designer wear they save some money and paid to get their heads read. I am far from nieave but I honestly thought that was all left behind in school. I have a 15 year old who doesn't behave like that.

They are not your friends, why do you even want to spend time with them? We are poor as church mice compared to all our local friends. All our clothes are various combos of primark, charity shop and occasional TKmaxx & H&M (except DS (12) who spends all his birthday, Christmas and pocket £ on Vans and Superdry). Luckily I'm effortlessly stylish so when friends say I look great and ask where I got my clothes they either make no comment or say something like "I'm too old to get away with the cut of primark or H&M, I wish I still could" or similar, because they are kind and my friends and we genuinely care about each other despite vast differences in financial circumstance.

Stinking rich friends are always happy with my hand me downs for their DC too. I need to start ebaying expensive charity shop finds when out grown and always vow to... Then I pass them on everytime.

Would you be brave enough to put them down? I know if you're half decent it's a challenge but maybe answering them "really? You wouldn't shop in primark? I'm sorry that you have to validate who you are by how much spend on clothes we're confident whether we're wearing high street or designer. Had you thought about therapy? It might help tease out your disdain for those less well off"

Just smile broadly and say "I hate frittering money on overpriced consumables."

There are some people in life who only can feel good about themselves of they've attempted to make someone else feel shit about themselves. What specifically tthey use duffers from arsehole to arsehole.
Just withdraw. Or have a level of expectation of their sneeriness and laugh at it inwardly.

I am likewise shocked to learn that people like this actually exist. I can't imagine anyone I know saying anything even remotely like this.

I think most women who like clothes will find other likeminded women and they'll discuss occasionally, but I can't imagine being on an outing with another family discussing where everyone buys their clothes (?).

I would ask them why they think designer clothes are important - or necessary - and tell them that buying expensive clothes does not make you a better person - as they have already demonstrated!

This is true, imperial.

Change your friends- YANBU.

One of my closest friends is quite richer than us- and she enjoys shopping for cashmere sweaters, designer handbags, pandora charms etc. It is her "hobby". I have accompanied her on her shopping sprees several times as it is fun! Last time we went her husband joked that he should pay me to go with her more often, as she spends less if she is with me (I typically restrain her). Anyway she is lovely person and never looks down on me for shlepping around in thriftware- in fact she is always complimentary about something I am wearing or hair etc.

Anyway point is, it's not because they wear designer clothes- they're just asses.

glances down at Metallica shirt

Leaves thread.

If somebody actually has to make a point of saying that they would never shop at Asda etc. then I would assume they had some pretty deep-seated anxiety about it. They're obviously TERRIFIED that you would think that they would sink to such depths! Protesting too much etc.

It obviously hits a nerve with them about their social status, because plenty of people with pots of money cheerfully shop at George, charity shops and even gasp Ebay.

Its not how much you spend on clothes, its how you wear them. Nothing wrong with Tesco, Next, Primark, Sainsburys, etc. - I have stuff from them myself. But I must admit to being a little bit shocked by scruffy people - for instance SIL once came to a family meal in a stained white T shirt several sizes too big, when everyone else was smartly dressed.

And cheap bad clothes can be nasty - there is a woman at my work who dresses as if she lived about 30 years ago although she isn't yet 30, very tarty - tight revealing tops, short, pencil skirts in cheap material, never a smart skirt or trousers (which you can get from Tesco, Next, etc.) - now that is what I would call cheap clothes. The ironic thing is that she thinks she looks great and is quite sneery about those who "don't have as good a bust as her"!

Its not how much you spend on clothes, its how you wear them

Very true. DD2 is 13 but she is one of those effortlessly stylish people, always has been. You could dress her and DD3 in the same outfit, DD2 will look amazing and DD3 will look nice, but not amazing! I dont know how she does it, she certainly doesnt get it from me, I looked a scruff in my wedding dress, I just cant pull style off with any degree of success!

She came home from a car boot with her grandad with a knitted hat and a tshirt that looked very out of shape. After I had washed them several times obv, she put them on and looked stunning! If anyone else (ie Me) tried that they would look like they had been shot from a cannon through the Oxfam shop :o

OP, don't let them get to you, you should be looking down, nay, pitying them. Tell them all your clothes were found in a skip just to mess with their tiny shallow minds.

Your friends are mad. I buy the vast majority of my clothes in cheap shops - mostly new look & H&M and I always look smart and well groomed, I would be mad not to shop there on principle. I rarely buy cheap handbags though, if I do I stick to cotton / canvas or nylon as faux leather doesn't tend to wear well. I have a few proper high end designer bits, DVF, Victoria Beckham, Chloe, Alexander Wang, Halston and they are better than most of my high street finds but they were all ebay or end of line sale items but I buy rarely and wear for years. Today I wore a 7 year old DVF dress with primark tights, H&M top underneath, New Look ankle boots, a Zara scarf and a Tod's handbag.

I know someone who was worth a few million, did all his kids clothes shopping at auctions, all second hand stuff. He had 5 kids and could easily afford to buy new but obviously wasn't too proud to put his kids in 2nd hand stuff. On the other hand I know people who hardly have a pot to piss in who would be horrified at 2nd hand stuff and will skint themselves to buy expensive clothes. It's often the ones who have barely nothing who have snobbish attitudes regarding clothes.

"On the other hand I know people who hardly have a pot to piss in who would be horrified at 2nd hand stuff and will skint themselves to buy expensive clothes. "
In all fairness, I have more sympathy with that than with the sneeryness of OP's DH's friends.

When you're poor you don't want to look poor; to be either sneered at by arses or pitied by others or in some way discriminated against. So you try real hard by dressing as well as your credit card you can afford. You do it not because you want to parade your wealth, but because you don't want people at large to know how precarious things really are. It's fear, not snobbishness for some.

Can we stop sneering at people who do enjoy wearing expensive clothes now? Or manage to sympathise with the OP without slagging off those who do? Just maybe?

It's extremely rude.

Though I take pleasure in the fact that people are so willing to be ripped off just for a particular label, regardless of actual quality. Polyester is just as sweaty whether it cost a tenner or £80 and the shop price of the garment often makes no difference at all to what the poor worker in India was paid.

Can we stop sneering at people who do enjoy wearing expensive clothes now? Or manage to sympathise with the OP without slagging off those who do?

I didnt see that. Its the sneery attitude of some people that is the issue, not whether they can or should buy designer.

I cant afford designer (struggling to afford George until things get back on track after redundancy etc!) but if I could I would buy it if I liked it. Equally, I would still buy George if I liked an item. What I wouldnt do is judge someone who couldnt or wouldnt buy designer, and I think all the comments on here are based on the assumption of a sneery type of designer wearer.

I wonder what amount those people have on their credit cards.

I love well made, quality clothes for little kids, and have found plenty at used clothing stores.

People who comment on what their friends are wearing in sneering derogatory manner are totally rude and would be dumped in my bin of ex friendship.