to think being a parent gets easier?

[Inbl00m]

Dd is 16 weeks, and I'd mentally prepared myself for having a baby to be "the hardest thing" I'd ever do, and still it's WAY harder. My mum says every stage is hard because you've never done it before. DH isn't very reassuring as he believes it only gets harder from here. I can't help but think it MUST be a bit easier when they can at least sit up for themselves... Aibu?

[Vvvoom]

I loved the baby stage but still think it's way harder than having toddlers or school-age kids because you have no time to yourself, not even to eat or go to the loo. The next stages all have challenges but you get breaks so you feel more grounded (and less hormonal).

[editthis]

I don't speak from much experience as my children are still so small, but I found the baby stage terribly hard. The sleep deprivation is just awful, and I always thought people a) had forgotten about the effects of it and b) were mean to say it got harder still! And so far I stand by that.

My daughter is two and has many, many moments of wilfulness which are challenging, but everything is just so much more fun. She can tell me what she wants and where it hurts, and I can teach her things, and she can be funny and clever and demanding and exhausting, like all children. When she was a tiny baby I didn't know what to do with her, how to fill the days, how I'd passed this test enabling me to be the one in charge here. I'm still useless with any child older than my daughter as I don't know what they like or want to do, but with her and her contemporaries I'm much more confident and know how to have fun.

It is still scary when one thinks about the responsibility and I can't imagine that goes - the idea of anything bad happening to my children makes me want to die - but I try not to think about it and think instead how lucky I am to have them!

[Rinkydinkypink]

Well so far I've found baby stage is hard, toddlers are a nightmare. Infants not so bad but very cheeky. Eldest is 7 and he's far easier than youngest (18 months ) who is currently a nightmare

[BsshBosh]

My DD is 6.5 and each year has been easier than the last. This current year's my favourite (and easiest) so far as she's much more independent and I have much more time to read :) I do wonder whether her teens will be as hard as the toddler years though

[slightlyworriednc]

It gets a billion times easier. People who say otherwise must have had was babies or else short memories. Mine are 9, 7 and 4 and it is certainly the easiest it's been.

[tilliebob]

My eldest two are 13 and 15. I wish to hell they were 3 and 5 again.

[Sundayplease]

I know someone with four boys in their lates teens/early twenties. She is adamant this is the hardest stage as she says you worry about them but are helpless to support them a lot of the time/you are less in control.

[Sundayplease]

As my dc get older, I have less time to myself in a way. When they are toddlers they are in bed at 7 and you can breathe a sigh of relief and relax a bit for the rest of the evening. Mine are going to bed later and later and there is little evening left. It is a long day.

[Inbl00m]

Wow thanks every one, sounds like all experiences are different! Should have known

What I find hard is the relentlessness, lack of communication, reflux and sicking 40-50 times per day... It leaves me wondering whether I really made an informed choice to have a baby after all. I feel like I've been naive, despite the fact I was expecting it to be very hard. Hoping those things DO improve in future but like people have pointed out I'm sure other tricky things will pop up. Guess you never know how you will feel with the passing of time!

[myotherusernameisbetter]

Is she smiling yet? Ii found that once I started to get some feedback from them it made bonding better.

It also helped stop me throwing them out the window when they just looked and smiled or laughed :o

[manechanger]

reflux is shit. Have you had meds? gaviscon for mild is fine but you can get better stuff for more full on reflux. DC1 had a milk allergy, this showed on breast milk as a very sicky baby, wth formula it was full on vomiting and rashes. Once we identified it things were much easier. I often found myself wondering if 4 was too early for gin though...

I found a breastfeeding support group the best thing for meeting other mums at the same stage particularly for discussing things that were unrelated to breast feeding but might be things like reflux. Just helped to meet people in same boat and was more supportive than traditional baby/toddler groups as it was all babes in arms.

[Bulbasaur]

Depends on what you consider hard. For me personally 9 month old DD is loads easier than newborn DD. She does get into much more and needs closer supervision, but her personality is starting to show through and that makes it more engaging and fun to spend time with her.

[PisforPeter]

It's hard at that age, I remember even feeling unclean because I had been sicked on so many times. DD is 2.5 though now & is lots of fun Xx

[Sallystyle]

I found the baby stage a doddle.

Found the toddler stage hard.

Loved the ages between 4-10

Then downhill from there

Eldest is nearly 16 and is starting to become more pleasant again.

[slightlyworriednc]

It is hard, OP, and I questioned my decision too at times. I think it's important to note that it gets better as well as easier. My children bring so much pleasure now...babies are cute, but for me it ends there!
Remember, you had a person, not a baby. For me, the baby stage was a means to an end.

[BathshebaDarkstone]

I think when they get to school age it gets easier, unless they're overtired, then they have toddler tantrums.

[Baddz]

The baby stage is hard
More so when your dc has a medical condition.
It does get easier, but he challenges are different obv.

[MorrisZapp]

Of course it gets easier! How could it not? And I don't even agree with all these parents of teenagers that want their easily controlled toddler back.

They are forgetting the full on round the clock drudgery of being a helpless persons support system.

Teens are mostly a doddle compared to tinies. When did you ever hear anybody say 'well when my kids were babies obviously my career and social life were flourishing, but now they're older I have cut down my hours and don't get out any more'.

Answer: never.

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

In my personal experience:

Babies are hard work,

Toddlers are a delight,

Children are great fun,

Teenagers are your worst nightmare made real; they rip out your heart, stamp on it and laugh.

Having said that, my eldest is 21 now and a complete pleasure to have around.

[manechanger]

thanks tinkly. that's cheered my up as I stand on the edge of an abyss.

[KittyandTeal]

Nope, no way. My dd is only 2 so maybe it gets harder after now but it is infinitely easier now! She generally sleeps through now, can be entertained much easier and is fairly good company.

I'd take tantrums over the baby stage any day!

I'm a primary school teacher so I love that age. I know every stage had hard bits but all my friends with primary ages kids have much more freedom etc.

[Lostmarblez]

In what way are you finding it hard? I found month 0-4.5 way way way harder than my now 1 year old. If that helps? For me it was getting my head round the sudden and abrupt Change in lifestyle plus difficult colicky baby, no f ing idea what I was doing and lack of sleep. Oh and difficult birth. Now I absolutely love it. Am sure will be another phase I'll find hard too as I'm only a short way on this crazy road but if it helps you OP it does get easier

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

Aw Mane, I think if you have put the love and hard hours in when they are small, then you will manage to claw your way out the other side.

And they are not an unrelenting nightmare, just if you have three teens at a time like I did, then they kind of play tag nightmare with you.

[drudgetrudy]

The relentless physical demands gradually become easier-but the demands on your emotions and intellect increase (depending on what problems your children face).
Being a parent is rewarding but you will worry about them for the rest of your life.

[Inbl00m]

Aw thanks everyone, you're making me feel so much more positive!

I love dd to bits, and she is smiling now so you can tell when she finds something entertaining, but most of her awake time is spent being sick or being tired. Trying to entertain/distract somebody with no attention span for hours each day is what I struggle with. Hoping that when she can entertain herself for a bit I will find things easier. I know having a child isn't meant to be about how 'easy' it is, but I feel like a crappy mum atm. Can't wait until I know what dd wants and can help her get it and/or stops being sick so she's not constantly upset the poor mite.