to think being a parent gets easier?

[Inbl00m]

Dd is 16 weeks, and I'd mentally prepared myself for having a baby to be "the hardest thing" I'd ever do, and still it's WAY harder. My mum says every stage is hard because you've never done it before. DH isn't very reassuring as he believes it only gets harder from here. I can't help but think it MUST be a bit easier when they can at least sit up for themselves... Aibu?

[bigbuttons]

zing don't over think it! It will be what it will be! They change so very quickly once they get to 12 that you really can't predict what's going to happen and when it is. Don't try and cross bridges until they need to be crossed.
My teen boys are 15 and 16 and booth totally different. 16 year old has never given us trouble as such but is moody, selfish and somewhat unpleasant to be around
15 year old swings between charm and horror. He's not doing horrendous things press he's just morphed into a huge hairy grunting creature whose anger can be explosive,.
13 year old teen dd1 is an absolute nightmare, clever know it all, dismissive, back chats swears,cruel to younger sibs, secretive blah blah blah. I have to remind myself that she's still a child and is struggling with all sorts. I was a horrific teen and I think it's come to bite me on the bum.
My mother is rubbing her hands in undisguised glee

[StarOnTheTree]

Zing

DD1 (18) was horrendous until she was 12, then it's been fairly straightforward since then.

DD2 (14) has always been and still is really easy.

DD3 (7)

[ZingTheGreat]

bigbuttons

don't say that. we are just starting with the teenage years...pls lie and tell me it will be a doddle from now on

[AggressiveBunting]

They do say that the reason why teenagers are so feral is so that you dont mind when they move out

[redcaryellowcar]

I'm not sure if this helps as I can't quite work out the reasonableness question. But I find with ds1 every stage was a challenge in that it was new, but also as a little person he just gets better and better and more fun the older he gets. I've never not enjoyed him, he just improves all the time. Ds1 is now 3 1/2 and ds2 is 10m both are fabulous (and complete monkeys at the same time)

[Bonsoir]

MrsSchadenfreude - I feel faint at the very idea of on-the-move babies x3!

[HelloItsStillMeFell]

Actually to be fair, there was a period in the middle, from when the eldest was about 10 and the youngest was about three where everything was easy and wonderful for about 6 years. Then the middle one hit 14 and it all went Pete Tong for a while.

[HelloItsStillMeFell]

It's finally starting to get a bit easier for me with the older two, but I'm still struggling a bit with the baby.

They are 22, 19 and 15.

[SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker]

I think between 16.5 and 17.5 was the hardest so far for us. Crawling to about age two for one and four for the other were the next hardest but also a really fun age in between the hard.

[bigbuttons]

There are periods when it is easier and times when it is hard. you can never know when these will be either. I have 6, the youngest is 7 and the oldest 16. I am finding it harder know than I ever did when they were all little.

[motherinferior]

Am I the only person who doesn't worry about their slightly older kids all the time? My 13 year old seems rather well-balanced and happy to me. Her sister I do worry about a bit, but not all the time.

[MrsSchadenfreude]

Bonsoir - my cousin has triplets, and she said the only time she felt in control was for the brief period where they could sit but not crawl. They all started crawling at the same time, and then her brief respite was over! (Three must be exhausting - I think with twins, at least you have two hands with which to grab them.)

[Iamblossom]

Day to day life gets easier. We can now lie in. They sleep at night. They eat anything. We can go out with them with next to no hassle. I can take them swimming and do lengths while they play. They can amuse themselves.

BUT - it's different things that get harder. I worry about their performance at school, their attitude, social skills as mentioned upthread, their futures.

Different but still hard!

[hawaiibaby]

I'm only 19 months in, but for me, it's got easier month by month. I bloody love it now, at first - really not so much! i'm sure there will be other hard phases and stages, no doubt, but for me the newborn who I didn't know or understand was much, much harder and not any fun. Don't worry, it will get better, particularly as you get to sleep more.

[unlucky83]

I think it is up and down ...you think you have it sussed and it is getting easier and then the next challenge comes along...
First baby stage, sleep deprivation, full on care really hard. (Another mum said they learn to smile so early on to stop you murdering them!)
Then you get settled and organised (but in my case for one still sleep deprived) then they start moving ...
You get settled with that and then they start knowing their own mind ...
Then they get old enough for you to reason with them and wipe their own bottoms, get dressed etc and it gets easier.
Then school and all that entails - school runs, homework etc - but not too bad...except (and both of mine did this - guess you could be stricter on limiting them) suddenly they have an activity every night and you find yourself constantly ferrying them around, keeping track of and washing kit etc. (And also deciding they don't want to go that week - want to stop - you (stop yourself cheering!) then battle to get them to go because you've just paid the terms fees - or you say ok and then they decide the next week they didn't really want to quit....and repeat)
Then they become more independent and can maybe get themselves to school, some activities - easy life.
Then they start secondary and you have the uproar that goes with that - socially (what bag/shoes), friendships etc, real homework and choices etc etc - and about this time their hormones are everywhere -and that can be hard. DD1 at 12 ish had a full blown throw herself to the floor tantrum once - over nothing.
At 13 she swung between acting like a 3 yo and a 23 yo....
Now almost 14 is relatively calm and settled - still speaks when spoken to and we can have a conversation but mostly is in her room on her phone/computer. Which would be easy - but the sleep deprivation starts again...
You can't leave her downstairs on her own, she just won't go to bed. So she has to be in her room at 10 - if you don't take her phone off her you find her awake at 1am and then struggle to get her up at 7am. So you take the phone off her and she messes about for hours ...in and out of bed ...maybe not as bad as baby stage (but I'm older - also find myself saying in my head 'just go to fucking sleep' a reminder of the baby years!). You definitely can't have an early night ...
Am anticipating this getting worse as she gets older and starts going out at night etc...and causing me more worry...more sleepless nights...
(So far she is nowhere near as bad as I was ...but there is time yet...)

[Floisme]

It's much easier physically but harder emotionally. That's my experience anyway. Letting go is tough. Teenagers still keep you awake at night - they just find new ways of doing it

[Bonsoir]

There is a really easy bit of parenting when they are babies who can sit up but aren't yet on the move. It's a trick: the minute they can crawl you have two and a half years of hell until they realize what danger is!

[maninawomansworld]

I guess it depends what you personally find hard.
I am 2 years in to the journey now, and have found it is slowly getting easier.
The absolute worst thing for me was the (mercifully very brief) period of not getting enough sleep thankfully that has long since passed and my 2 boys now sleep solidly from 7pm - 5am, which happily has long been my getting up time anyway.
If I am honest, I still don't particularly enjoy being a dad. Yes there are lots of highs as well as the lows but I have never had much time for young children and find the day to day drudge of looking after them to be frankly a bit of a drag!
However, I absolutely love them when they hit 5 or 6 years of age and start to become what I clumsily call 'proper little people'. So much great stuff you can do together! So many awesome toys from my childhood that I have in the attic for when they get to the right age! Can't wait.

[mmgirish]

I have a ds who is nearly 3 and a ds who is 3 months. I feel bad at times wishing the younger one was older at times. Particularly the nightly screaming and disturbed sleeping. It will get easier OP X

[KitCat26]

My favourite age was 6 month old to 9 months when DC started walking... That was both lovely and easy (mine slept). Hence DD2... Walking to old enough not to get into mischief was hard both times (9month-3y ish).

Now both are at school/preschool it has got much easier, they are nearly 4 & 5 now.

[StarOnTheTree]

I know there will be tough stuff (school, homework, friend issues, etc) but that has to be better than the relentless and all consuming need of the baby years.

In my experience it is

[ssd]

it does get easier op, just because you get more used to it as time goes on

[toptomatoes]

So far, the baby stage has been the hardest for me. Relentless feeding, all terrible sleepers, middle child had lots of health issues as a baby. Toddler is hard work keeping them out of trouble but so ridiculously cute. Still not sleeping well though. The 4 and 8 year olds are pretty easy and straightforward at the moment. Just waiting to see what the teen years bring!

[MrsSchadenfreude]

I think there is a nice period between say, 5 and 11/12, when things bumble along quite happily. They need you less than at the baby stage, child care is easier (and cheaper). Then the hormones kick in, you spend a lot of your Saturdays on the edge of a sports pitch in the pouring rain, they have more independence and your worries start up all over again.

I think they need you more as they get older. When they are little, any kind person will do, really - nanny, childminder, but as they get older, it has to be you there.

[AggressiveBunting]

Mine are 4&2 and it's WAY easier now (or maybe I just mean more enjoyable) - just little things like if we go to the park, they can go on the playground/ scoot by themselves, they play together or by themselves at home without needing me to join in, they sleep through the night, they can articulate what they want, they're out of nappies. I know there will be tough stuff (school, homework, friend issues, etc) but that has to be better than the relentless and all consuming need of the baby years.