To ask if anyone is setting up a fb page to discuss Tricky Dicky?

[IAmOnMyBike]

It seems we are not allowed to speak about anything negative elsewhere. Please do not speak badly of Tricky Dicky and co.

If they'd just say that the money will be used to cover the minimum UK expenses and essential US living costs with the intention to donate the maximum amount to charity afterwards, most of us would feel a bit better about it. But there's a sense that the money will be used to put the parents in a better situation which isn't in line with the donors' intentions who thought they were covering medical costs and/or basic living expenses to help them get through the next 3 months.

On the plus side, I'm sure the parents will be pleased to know they have such good friends who've rallied around for them in their time of need.

I actually think that they SHOULD move out of the RM house and give the room to someone more needy (i.e. without over £10k in their bank account).

The insurance should cover the cost of a modest hotel room close to the hospital. In fact it wouldn't surprise me if a hotel offered free accommodation in order to get positive publicity.

Totally agree Ursula the posting of the gym and staff members etc is ridiculous and makes the members look totally bitter and deranged which is why I've left the group

There's a point about the cars though. I actually had a bit of a family crisis earlier this year which involved a loss of wages and the first thing we did was downgrade our car to free up some funds.

I think if you're asking the public for money, you really have a responsibility to do what you can for yourself first. After all, a lot of the people donating wouldn't be able to dream of having a BMW in the garage.

It's an important principle of charity, helping those who are less fortunate than yourselves. Not keeping those more fortunate in the style to which they are accustomed. And I do wonder how much of that money might have been better spent elsewhere, either on the donors' own families or on other charities which support people who are in far more dire straits than this couple.

I noted a mum of 5 who stated she didn't have much, but would give a little each week until the baby is back in the UK. Things like this just upset me, as while they are obviously free to make their own choices, this is someone possibly doing without so they can help someone that is already financially better off than the person donating!

I saw that too Alice and felt the same way.

There was a student who donated on the GoGet site saying he couldn't afford much but would give what he had. This was before the update was posted re: medical bills.

Speaking of which, the update appears as a side-bar on the page. I wish the updates could be put on the 'main' part instead, which still says they are worried about the medical costs.

I think this thread is pretty disgusting. People are forgetting that there is a prem baby at the heart of all this, while some of you hover over his parents' profiles & a page set up to help them, looking for 'evidence' of a scam to justify you picking over the carcass!

I am sorry, I do not believe for one single minute that ALL posters here & on the last thread don't want anyone to get scammed out of money. Yes, some maybe, and those people will have quietly made a point on the fb page as a warning, to be ignored or not at one's free will.

People are here to see what they consider to be a 'car crash' waiting to happen. And to set up a fb page to discuss 'Tricky Dicky' what the fuck is that all about? Stinks of bullying! I don't care if you think it's justified in some sad way, bullying never is. You don't need a fb page AS WELL as a thread here to discuss it...sounds like some people want to be friends with the cool kids!

Someone moaned about a guy on the fb page calling the parents thick or something, I saw posts HERE saying pretty much the same thing about people posting in support.

Honestly, this isn't MN at it's best.

I think it is pretty disgusting to lie repeatedly while asking the public to donate money.

I think it is pretty disgusting to post and 'lol' at racist comments.

I think it is pretty disgusting to call people asking for clarification on expenses 'retards'.

I think it is pretty disgusting to post peoples private messages and complain to their employer.

I think it is disgusting to shout down any reasonable and valid question as a troll.

I think it is disgusting to bring the appearance of the parents into anything.

Talking about perspective though:

I don't see that many people have a problem with the fundraising on the Facebook page.

I think those involved have a very different set of values. I don't think many people on that Facebook page would be at all bothered if the money went toward ensuring Dax has the requisite number of Nike baby trainers or Ralph Lauren blankets.

It's just a different set of values played out in public.

differentnameforthis

" People are forgetting that there is a prem baby at the heart of all this"

I think you could say the same for some of the supporters on the Dax page too. I'm thinking of the ones suggesting this will be a nice little earner, furthering the Dad's modelling career and regret at not being able to get Max Jailbird Clifford involved.

I don't think anyone is forgetting about the prem baby, just that it's being overshadowed at this point by the way this fundraiser is being run.

I am on the TD fb page - it seems that the only way to access Richard is through his 2 friends who are posting on there.

All I want is for him to stop the fund raising - I want this because I don't want Lee & Katie to end up on the end of a backlash when the tide turns (which it will, if it carries on).

I absolutely wish the best to them, and can only imagine how surreal and disoriented they must feel at the moment - they are in a different country with a very, very early baby, over the few days of the year where nothing is fully staffed (insurance etc).

I object to a lot of the posts on this thread which ascribe motives/character to the people on the fb page tbh.
And fyi, the page is public so that it is transparent - I am posting under my own profile as I have nothing to hide, the 'closed' group of the same name was an accidental one set up at the same time which wasn't used (not 'invitation only' as a pp suggested).

different actually a fair few people here have expressed concern that the parents are in a difficult place between dealing with a preemie baby (who they have ALL said they hoped was doing well) and an overzealous employer who seems to be capitalising on things a bit much. Many have stated that they recognise that it might be very hard for the parents to put a stop to the employer's behaviour as they might be worried it will affect their job status, which I think (as do others) is a valid point.

People have also expressed a frustration that the employer who is running the fundraising is dismissing offers of assistance (rather than cash) out of hand. Is he doing this after conferring with the parents? We don't know. I'd hate to think the parents would be quite happy to accept second hand items, clothing, home cooked meals made for them locally, or whatever, but they're not receiving them because the employer has decided "cash" is the only way to go IYSWIM.

The employer has not yet realised (I can only assume, based on his behaviour thus far) that, as the admin on the fb page and the one that seems to be "speaking" for the parents, he is responsible for the impression given to the general public of these parents. He has so far not given a great impression tbh, and you know the saying "you only have once to give a good first impression"... well, he's rather blown it with lots of people. He does give the impression of being dishonest and greedy. Whether he can rectify that or not remains to be seen. I also think it's in his best interest to contact someone that is more financially savvy than he himself is, and get some advice on how to handle this situation more appropriately. Oh, and I'd also think he'd be best to shut down the donation sites and direct anyone else wanting to donate to specific charities that are already well-established. This idea of him setting up a charity is not well thought out.

As far as the parents are concerned, while there's been some unrest about their financial status, most of that has been because of the lack of clarity on the donation sites and the attitude displayed by the employer. At worst, I suspect most people are simply surprised (shocked?) by their lack of preparation and forethought to go on an expensive holiday to do vast amounts of expensive shopping, while not having finances in place for their baby and living expenses when the baby's arrival would surely be within the next 12 weeks anyway. I would say they are possibly guilty of poor prioritising as well as poor planning, but had the unfortunate early childbirth that simply highlighted this on an epic level. Had the baby not arrived early, I imagine any lack of financial planning or preparation would have been aided by their respective parents (the baby's grandparents on either side) and that would have been the end of it.

It remains that when you go public requesting the public make donations, you must be clear and honest about what the money is for and why. And all dealings to do with it must be transparent. Or people question it... quite rightly.

Whereisegg Then what keeps taking you to the page? Why are people so invested in this, that they cannot just walk away?

If it IS a scam, and people are being scammed, that is their own fault for not heeding the warning & being too naive. But how does that impact you & your ability to walk away?

I just don't understand why there is this need to dissect every single post they have ever made, every photo ever posted, etc.

And to be fair, all the stiff you find disgusting doesn't make the hounding of the parents & their friend in any way justifiable.

I think the level of comment and speculation about the details of this case is becoming disproportionate. Talk about selling cars that they may or may not own, staying in nicer hotels, how they pay their phone bills in the US etc is a distraction and inevitably ends up in some slightly judgy posting.

The core issue is that the man at the centre of this is raising money from people to fund costs that are already insured. This fact is not being properly disclosed and therefore soliciting funds on this basis is immoral and possibly illegal (although let's not kid ourselves that anything will come of this). That man also happens to be a nasty piece of work.

There is now talk of setting up a special charity for the "excess" funds. Given their previous statement that the "excess" funds would go to Ronald McDonald house, one can only imagine that the idea is to set up a specific charity at will benefit Dax. TD Will soon discover that this is not possible. Who knows what will happen then.

We all know where this is heading. Either the papers will pick up on it, or they won't. Whether they do not is at the whim of a Daily Mail editor. however, I think most people agree that way this has been handled is very unfortunate, to say the least. I'm not sure that endless commentary about the finer points of detail will bring anything to the debate will reflect well on this site or anyone on it.

Or, in other words, what the poster immediately above me said.

So if people suspect wrongdoing (intentional or otherwise) they should just say and do nothing?

They also refuse say how much they will give to charity and how much they will keep for themselves.

That charity he is talking about setting up will bear Dax's name. This will be a very good way of keeping the publicity going almost indefinitely. Why not just ask for funds to be paid into already well-established charities? It smacks of self-publicity as the fundraiser will (presumably) be connected with the 'Dax Foundation'.

Again, this is a turnaround from the original plans, more moving of the goalposts. First of all excess funds were going to go into a Trust Fund for Dax. When the morality of that was questioned it was declared that all funds would go to RMH (as suggested by one of the 'trolls'). Now there is going to be a whole new charity set up and fundraiser/parents will get to decide how the money is donated. If the fundraiser was too busy with family/business to update a fundraising page for 24 hours how is he going to cope with the workload of setting up and running a charity?

It remains that when you go public requesting the public make donations, you must be clear and honest about what the money is for and why. And all dealings to do with it must be transparent. Or people question it... quite rightly.

I agree, but this thread, the last one & the fb page are FAR FAR beyond questioning fund-raising.

Previously it looked like the father removed his fb page. There were VERY detailed instructions on HERE (thread now deleted) as to how to access the fathers profile (via one of his friends) to look for information that may catch him out as being part of the 'scam'. Sorry, but that is WAY past questioning the honesty of the fund-raising.

People here have looked at his profile & seen that they flew first class, that is nobodies business.

People here have discussed their lifestyle, discussed their buying habits, discussed their pictures. Their jobs, their possible sick pay, etc

Again way past questioning the fund-raising issue.

They have called them names, they have insulted them & their friends & family ..

Sorry, but I fail to see what any of that has to do with questioning fund-raising. Starting a thread on a website that the parents don't have access to (here) and cannot defend themselves of is shameful & stinks of bullying.

No matter how much anyone wants to dress it up as concern over fund-raising.

The latest update is all the money is now going to RMH.

Well people have been warned and if they are happy to fund this couples 'living' expenses then that's their choice. There are undoubtedly stupid people out there who make stupid decisions with their money just like the woman boasting about having a 50 inch tv but being 'skint'

BeautifulPain

Really?

If so then that's good news.

The parents will still have all the other money that has been, and still is being, donated from locals. That must run into a few thousand I would have thought.

As that was the fundraiser's original intent (local donations from local people) then things have worked out as he originally planned.

everlong If the people who are donating are fully aware that the insurance company is covering costs, then why is it for us to say they can't donate?

They should do what they want to do, it's their money after all.

Whereisegg No, not do or say nothing, but how is a witch-hunt on here & fb helping ANYONE?? If you suspect wrongdoing, contact the police, as you would if you had some scammers door knocking for money, instead of wildly speculating here.

Example of that...we have some horrendous fires going on over here. People have lost property, they have lost animals etc. A few not so nice people have been door knocking for charity donations of behalf of the CFS (County fire service, who are all volunteer fire-fighters). Those subjected to door knocking have been advised to call the police (and people have done so). They haven't set up a fb page to maon about, speculate about it & plan their downfall while sitting behind a keyboard...they have acted!

How many people here have alerted the police of this suspected scam?

Ah, it's not actually the case by the look of it.

He's saying that the excess will go to RMH, not all of the money.

"Thank you to all that have donated so far! Also thanks for all the 100's of messages of support that continue to come through. Over £11,500 has now been raised so I would imagine there will be a sizeable donation that will be able to be made! There are lots of very kind and generous people out there. For anybody that would also like to donate directly to the RMF charity are more than welcome to do so (not that people need telling as they can think for themselves) , but here is the link! This is where all excess money will be going to anyway so if you wish to go direct thats great."