To ask her to exchange her gift?

[Toastandstrawberryjam]

Hoping this won't out me in RL.....

DDs birthday is this week and when SIL asked what to get her DH suggested a particular toy. I was a bit because SIL has form for odd gifts and this was an important toy of which there are lots of variations of but DD wanted the nice type. (Sorry trying to be bit cautious here!). But DH was sure SIL understood.

Anyway DH has just had a little wobbly about it, knowing how important the right type is to DD and carefully opened the gift to check it (SIL left it here at Christmas) and no it isn't the nice version. It's a cheap, crummy version.

The way I see it the best option now is for DH to say "really sorry but DD has been given a gift early by (distant relative) and its that toy. Can you exchange it? AIBU to suggest that?
The only other option is that we buy her the nice version and after her birthday give the other to the charity shop. We don't have room for two versions and tbh DD didn't want much for her birthday and will be disappointed with this.

OP, glad to see you have it sorted. Tell DH it's his problem if there is any fall out. Hope your DD has a lovely birthday.

Change the gift. Sell or give-away or return the original and wrap the new gift in birthday paper from auntie.
If auntie is there for the unveiling and questions the gift you can remind her that of course it is the gift she gave your DD. She asked what to get, dh told her what to get, she agreed. Why the hell would she have bought anything different from what Dd is now unwrapping? That would have been thoughtless and stupid.
And gag Dh next time. Idiot!

I wanted doctor marten boots for Christmas. I would have been disappointed if I had been given fake DMs because they are cheaper.
(Actually I got money and bought my own DMs but the point remains)
Your daughter is not a spoilt brat or whatever else people are implying but this situation is your mistake by letting SIL buy the portent gift knowing she would probably get it wrong.

I'm suprised people care so much about a present being wrapped in the 'wrong' paper I would think it a bit silly but I wouldn't cares jot and I really can't believe a 9 year old would.

I have a child who's birthday is near Xmas and have all the old "One big present" stuff, and wrapping birthday gifts in Xmas paper. Its horrible for the child as it means their birthday gets swallowed into Xmas. Their siblings get a special Birthday but they dont, so yes, it does matter.

I make a point of not putting the decs up until the day after her birthday, it means they are not up for long, but it means that it is her birthday THEN Xmas, not the two being mashed up together.

Three of my 4 DC have birthdays close to xmas and I also wait until the birthdays are done with before xmas so I understand the desire to make the birthdays seperate from xmas. I still find it hard to believe that anyone (even a child) would care about getting a single incorrectly wrapped present from a relative you only see once or twice a year.

Im clearly a terfible person. I wrapped a child's present last year in Christmas paper as it was the only one i had in the house. The child's birthday was in nune though so not sure if that makes it better or worse.

June, not nune.

Xmas paper in June would make me laugh because I would understand the panic behind it. Xmas paper in December smacks of "cant be arsed".

And yes, my DD has always noticed the paper if its Xmas paper and asked if I am sure its not a Xmas present.....

A few years ago, dd wanted a Cinderella doll. My brother bought her the cheap knock off version rather than the cheap but official disney one (for a fiver rather than just fifteen pounds).

It looked grim to start with and when dd went to change the hairstyle the thing was half bald, with a ring of hair around the outside which had been yanked up into a bun. It looked freaky as anything and dd was gutted. Totally waste of money as she didn't play with it and I got her the proper one later on. Can you do that OP?