mil and mother and baby class

[delilahrose2014]

My baby isn't due for another 8 weeks yet but my MIL has asked that when he is born she wants to take him (without me) to a mother and baby class where they do baby massage and baby sign language. She wants to do this so that she will develop a 'special bond' with him. I have said that I don't want this to happen and this has upset her and caused tension with the extended family.

AIBU about what will be my precious first born or is she getting too involved? I feel like this kind of thing I should be doing with my son, and something I want to make the most of doing whilst off on my maternity leave. I am terrified the baby will prefer her or bond with her.

Myself and MIL have quite a strained relationship, I think she is quite passive aggressive.

[m0therofdragons]

My mil used to tell people she was dd1s mummy when I wasn't there I discovered. Really odd.
I would take it as her being really enthusiastic and make sure she knows she can build a lovely bond but you'll have to see re feeding and how you feel as you've not had a baby before.

[Italiangreyhound]

grannytomine thanks for your reply to me on Wed 31-Dec-at 14 15:54:02. I have been away and had not noticed it.

You said Italiangreyhound, but people were saying grandmothers shouldn't take babies to classes and that the clue was in the name, Mother and baby. Your class was obviously for mothers but not all classes are. I would hate to think that mothers at the classes I went to thought it was inappropriate that I was there.

I doubt they would grannytomine. If your daughter or daughter in law wanted you to go then I would not worry about it.

There really are a lot of different classes out there and many are open to anyone.

But the ones I was thinking of, personally, and the ones the OP mentions when she says The class is described on the website as being designed for new mothers to help bond and communicate with their babies. She is aware of this and wants to have the bond herself. are really quite different.

I could not have got on my baby massage class if I had not been a birth mother who had had a tough time. That is who they were run for.

But irrespective of the type of class the issue is really whether birth mum feels happy for someone else to take new baby anywhere. your daughter or d-i-l did want you to, the OP's doesn't want her mil to. It's that simple.

And I second all those who say that OP may not want time away from baby, I did not. Later when the kids are older then I was very keen for some time away but at first, when it is all so new, I didn't really want or need anyone except DH.

How are things now delilahrose has she accepted it all? Hope all goes well with the pregnancy.