Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you be upset others "annouced" the birth of your baby via facebook before you could?

121 replies

livingonaprayer1986 · 26/12/2014 13:56

AIBU?

A friend, lets call her Rachel, was due to give birth anytime as she was overdue. I knew she had gone into labour because she sent me an excited text saying she was in labour, but not to say anything on Facebook or anything, obviously because she wanted to announce it herself when her baby was born.

Anyway, I log on to Facebook and notice her twat of a friend has put it on her Facebook the baby had been born... cue hundreds of public messages on her wall saying congratulations, when can they meet baby, etc.

Rachel is very upset that she didn't get to announce the birth of her baby herself and is pissed off at her friend. I can completely understand/ relate to her and had near enough the exact same thing happen to me just over 3 years ago when my daughter was born - a friend had announced I was in labour because my hubby had answered my phone and said "Sorry she is at hospital at the moment and can't get to the phone, she will ring you back" which then made that person post on my Facebook page I was in labour, cue everyone saying congratulations when someone (I still don't know who, I suspect is was one of hubbys family despite him saying don't say anything to anyone yet) also then announced baby had been born and even my babies birth weight! I was majorly upset, I had really wanted to announce everything myself being a first time mum and I had had a terrible, terrible birth on top of it resulting in a colostomy bag and 4th degree tear and a major, painful operation on my neither regions, so I was feeling shite anyway!

Sorry for rambling on, so anyway Rachel posts on her Facebook (word for word) "thank you for all the messages everyone :) but I had wanted to announce the birth of my baby... please take that into consideration when posting on someone else's page if you know they have given birth before posting anything, as now the whole world knows and I feel it was my news to share first. aby *** has to stay in because of jaundice/ difficult time getting out but we will be ok... xx"

A few (not everyone) people have taken offence to this and put nasty replies saying "next time I wont bother" "ffs get over it" "what's the big deal?"

Is she being unreasonable that she wanted to announce the birth herself? I don't think she is and think her message on her wall from her was polite but getting the point across how she felt. What do others think? Would you mind someone else announcing the birth of your baby before you could even get out of the hospital?

OP posts:
EbwyIsUpTheDuff · 26/12/2014 14:02

not at all unreasonable.
My brother did the same to me - twice. Not telling him isn't an option, as we let my mother know and she rang him straight away :( To make it worse, he's only met one of my two, and the youngest is 2 years old now - and he's been to within 5 min of where we live (lives 2 hours drive away) but hasn't bothered to see us. More interested in the attention than the kids.

Lesson learned - this time around, I have a new partner (fiance, actually, got engaged yesterday) who will tell no-one until he's posted it to both our facebooks.

LokiBear · 26/12/2014 14:02

This is the very reason we didn't tell anyone at all that I was in labour. You and your friend anbu.

honeysucklejasmine · 26/12/2014 14:02

I'd be pretty annoyed too.

Fizzyplonk · 26/12/2014 14:03

I don't think she's being unreasonable at all. Some people have to be first to know. I expect it wasn't about congratulating her for the first few posters, but about feeling important themselves.

Know someone who posted loads of pictures of the flowers/venue/inside the beautiful church the day before the wedding and did raise my eyebrows

Cantbelievethisishappening · 26/12/2014 14:03

Yes that would annoy me. Lesson learnt.... keep all details private until baby is born. Don't think a public announcement of annoyance was the way to go though.... she should have had that conversation with the person who announced the birth.

OwlBeGoingToBethlehem · 26/12/2014 14:04

Not at all. My DSis has a friend who often posts info about my DN that I think she has no right to on Facebook. I pointed it out the first time but haven't bothered since as she obviously hasn't listened Shock

HenriettaTurkey · 26/12/2014 14:05

Good for her! It's so rude to post something so personal without explicit permission. Yanbu.

AhoyMcCoy · 26/12/2014 14:06

My mum did this. But posted the incorrect birth time and weight. Twit. It's definitely a rude thing to do, and anyone who uses fb often enough knows this.

scratchandsniff · 26/12/2014 14:08

This happened to me. I felt very pissed off. This time around I'm going to change my settings so that nobody can post on my wall or tag me in anything.

callamia · 26/12/2014 14:08

It's the height of rudeness and attention-seeking. It's your job as friends to tell this person off the public.

adora1985 · 26/12/2014 14:10

Definitely NU. One of my friends had a little girl three years ago, her first, and a mutual (but not close) friend of ours announced her birth. That's bad enough, but she posted the baby's weight, birth time, name and a photo of the baby before my friend could. She really was gutted when she found out the day after.

NinjaPanda34 · 26/12/2014 14:10

I would be majorly fucked off. We're not telling anyone when we go in. My friend (she was overdue at this point) actually posted to fb, "please let us announce the news when it comes as we would like to let our family know first. If you do hear any news please wait until WE post first. Thanks". Think I'll be doing the same as her!

youarekiddingme · 26/12/2014 14:11

Good on your friend. Polite but firm message. YANBU. I never get why people feel the need to announce and complete other peoples statuses. I suspect it's a luck of any news of their own and it's still a way of getting attention.

ebwy congratulations!

Original poster
livingonaprayer1986 · 26/12/2014 14:11

Glad everyone feels the same as me so far.. when I it had happen to me I didn't bother saying anything... I think I was in such a foul mood I actually deactivated my facebook for a while.

This happening to my friend has just reminded me how I felt at the time my daughter was born... still upsets me as I can not have anymore children now because of the stupid forcep delivery. I can never announce another babies birth again :(. I'm grateful for my daughter though.

OP posts:
TheCheeseBoardStinks · 26/12/2014 14:12

Get rid of the people making nasty comments on the fb page response along with the "friend" who announced it.

Keep it quiet and announce it yourself. If your DM tells a big mouth, don't tell your Mum she has no respect for you telling a big mouth.

calmexterior · 26/12/2014 14:17

YANBU ( but I wouldn't have posted what she did in response I would have just ignored / deleted message on wall and stayed away from FB )

Congratulations to your friend.

SpicyBeat · 26/12/2014 14:20

NU - I found out about my friend giving birth like this, from her step family member posting about it on her wall. I knew she would wait a bit to announce and was gutted for her that she'd been robbed of the chance to announce it pproperly herself.

BlueThursday · 26/12/2014 14:26

NU
I'm a week from my due date and worrying this will happen. Not necessarily because I want to be the one to tell people, I will be disappointed that there's potential for the more important people in my life, like my gran who doesn't use FB, to find out after others which will be a shame

Theboodythatrocked · 26/12/2014 14:28

It's incredibly rude. Totally agree and would be majorly pissed off.

Get the highest settings.

Theboodythatrocked · 26/12/2014 14:30

Blue don't tell anyone you are in labour. If that's possible.

SophieBarringtonWard · 26/12/2014 14:30

I dunno, I do get why you are
Upset but my brothers did this to me ("excited to be an uncle again") type messages & it really doesn't bother me. It's all happiness at the end of the day isn't it? I was upset to find out about my uncle death from FB though.

ImFineThankYouSusan · 26/12/2014 14:31

Yes I would be very annoyed.

I have been thinking that if I ever did get pregnant again I would keep it off FB the entire time.

BlueThursday · 26/12/2014 14:35

That's definitely the plan - stealthy labour!

Rafflesway · 26/12/2014 14:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SantanaLopez · 26/12/2014 14:37

Happened to me. DH's dippy teenage cousin posted before we could. I was furious.

Your friend is NBU.

The people complaining are arseholes. That would be it for me.