Would you be upset others "annouced" the birth of your baby via facebook before you could?

[livingonaprayer1986]

AIBU?

A friend, lets call her Rachel, was due to give birth anytime as she was overdue. I knew she had gone into labour because she sent me an excited text saying she was in labour, but not to say anything on Facebook or anything, obviously because she wanted to announce it herself when her baby was born.

Anyway, I log on to Facebook and notice her twat of a friend has put it on her Facebook the baby had been born... cue hundreds of public messages on her wall saying congratulations, when can they meet baby, etc.

Rachel is very upset that she didn't get to announce the birth of her baby herself and is pissed off at her friend. I can completely understand/ relate to her and had near enough the exact same thing happen to me just over 3 years ago when my daughter was born - a friend had announced I was in labour because my hubby had answered my phone and said "Sorry she is at hospital at the moment and can't get to the phone, she will ring you back" which then made that person post on my Facebook page I was in labour, cue everyone saying congratulations when someone (I still don't know who, I suspect is was one of hubbys family despite him saying don't say anything to anyone yet) also then announced baby had been born and even my babies birth weight! I was majorly upset, I had really wanted to announce everything myself being a first time mum and I had had a terrible, terrible birth on top of it resulting in a colostomy bag and 4th degree tear and a major, painful operation on my neither regions, so I was feeling shite anyway!

Sorry for rambling on, so anyway Rachel posts on her Facebook (word for word) "thank you for all the messages everyone :) but I had wanted to announce the birth of my baby... please take that into consideration when posting on someone else's page if you know they have given birth before posting anything, as now the whole world knows and I feel it was my news to share first. aby *** has to stay in because of jaundice/ difficult time getting out but we will be ok... xx"

A few (not everyone) people have taken offence to this and put nasty replies saying "next time I wont bother" "ffs get over it" "what's the big deal?"

Is she being unreasonable that she wanted to announce the birth herself? I don't think she is and think her message on her wall from her was polite but getting the point across how she felt. What do others think? Would you mind someone else announcing the birth of your baby before you could even get out of the hospital?

Fry one, that is so sad.

People need to engage their brain before gossipy on social media.

Gossiping, even.

Someone decided to post about my friend going into labour on her Facebook wall which led to lots of messages on her wall over the next two days asking why she was keeping everyone waiting and jokes about why labour was taking so long. Sadly her daughter was born sleeping and she just couldn't face telling anyone :-(

People should keep their mouths shut about other people's business especially when it comes to childbirth!

I don't get it either, but then I don't live my life on Facebook. Its there to keep up with others news, and it doesn't even occur to me who I find the news out from, I'll congratulate the person who needs congratulating.

If someone's interested enough in my life to post, fine. I personally wouldn't, because I don't know if radio silence on a pregnancy means they don't want their stepdad/ex/infertile sister to know.

It's all a bit "they stole my thunder" whining really. oh no someone announced first and possibly took some of my attention away. Sod Facebook and enjoy your baby!

What would happen with no Facebook? You'd tell one or two close friends and family, they'd tell somebody, and the news would filter down.

The most annoying thing for me is, I am not even on Facebook, for privacy reasons! So to have my news announced there was really irritating.

In all honesty I don't get all the fuss about being the first to announce the arrival and I say that as a mother of two.

With DS2 someone at work found out that he had been born 3 hours earlier when a friend had phoned for me ( I was due in work that day but baby arrived early). News spread to everyone including to my SIL's who hadn't heard yet.

I couldn't give two hoots. I was well, baby was well. That was all that matters.

My dsis did this to me (tagging me as well) when I'd not even mentioned my pregnancy on FB throughout. We'd only told our parents that we'd had our DS so my DPs must have mentioned it to her. It wasn't a massive deal but I was annoyed at her insensitivity and think YANBU.

It wouldn't care in the slightest. I can't be doing with big facebook announcements. DH and I told all the people we wanted to know first over the phone.

There are two much sadder stories than mine already posted, but in our case, it was DP who was affected.

We had some complications with DC3. Afterwards I was taken to a recovery ward rather than the general maternity ward as I still had some retained product. DP was told to go home and get a sleep as they were going to give me a couple of hours then take me for a D&C. We had been up overnight and we were both exhausted.

On his way to the car he phoned his parents, his mum told her sisters, the next thing a cousin announced the birth on FB. DP then got texts, phone calls and FB notifications constantly and couldn't rest, yet was too worried to turn his phone off in case the hospital phoned. I still feel angry about what he was put through, there was no need for it, just because some dick head cousin who has never even seen DC3 had to be the first. It can't even be defended as over excitement, she has done this for every birth or death within the extended family in years. Some may accuse me of being petty but I don't think I'll ever forgive her.

Not at all unreasonable. Anyone who has made a nasty comment would be defriended sharpish if this was me.

Rachel is definitely NBU - if she feels that it was her was to give, she should have been the one to give it! Within 15 minutes of DP having told my mum that DS had been born, she rang me to let me know she'd told half of the entire world my relatives and all our mutual friends - I was a bit at first, but after having had a bit of time to think it through I realised that she was giving out HER news too, that she was a very proud first-time grandmother, and she had in fact done me a favour as I wasn't in any state to be phoning round everybody after an exhausting and painful birth! That said, if it had been a friend or anybody else, I'd probably have wanted to poke their eyes out I my hormonal and exhausted state...

Congratulations to Rachel on the birth of her baby

YANBU and nor is your friend. It's YOUR news, no one else's - people who post your news and get all the congratulations on their page are leeching off your news - enjoying the attention it brings them, rather than thinking about you/ the person who has just actually had the baby.

It's rude and attention-grabbing, IMO.

If you think about it, it's no different to the media being told not to announce names of people who have been killed or whatever in tragic accidents, before the family have been told in person and private.

All those of you saying you couldn't care less - how would you feel if a close family member, one you cared about, was killed in some way and it was all over the newspapers before you found out yourself? Same thing, really.

YANBU
The friend was in the wrong to post up Rachel's news. What if something had gone horribly wrong?
Surely you leave it to the parents to make whatever announcements they want. I would assume that most people would want to tell their families first anyway.
And presumably as she told you not to post it, she said the same to friend so absolutely understansable she would be pissed off.

All those of you saying you couldn't care less- how would you feel if a close family member, one you cared about, was killed in some way and it was all over the newspapers before you found out yourself?Same thing, really*

Are you on drugs or something? No way is it the same!
I wa one who had my news shared and didn't give a toss. I can't be arsed being precious or wanting to be the centre of attention or anything else. I had a any, that was it. Amazing for me and DH but I'm not up my own ass to realise I'm not the first or the last to do so. As long as we were ok everything else is just stuff!

I think the OP's friend Rachel would have been better off sending a private message to air her feelings to the friend who announced her news, rather than the public post which read as if she was annoyed at the innocent well-wishers who responded to her friend's announcement. It's possible that some of them thought she had asked or given her friend permission to spread the good news.

I'm sure everyone just wanted to congratulate her and maybe some were taken aback at being chastised for not waiting until she'd posted in person.

Facebook hasn't really been around long enough for an established etiquette to have evolved, so these well-meant but insensitive blunders will be happen!

No I'm not on drugs, don't be ridiculous. It isn't that different at all - it's about hearing news secondhand that you would have liked to have shared personally.

Def not unreasonable!

I kept my pregnancy off FB and made sure I told everyone I wanted no mention of it on there until I announced the birth. Your poor friend; id be LIVID! And good for her for writing what she did.

YANBU. My dad did the same to us when our DS was born six weeks ago, and we were really quite annoyed. Several mutual Facebook friends then posted congratulations on my wall, which meant a few more people found out that way and posted things like, "oh, I'm guessing he's been born then!" in quite a passive-aggressive way which pissed us off even more. I did mention it to my Dad, and he just said, "I wanted to announce I was a granddad." We don't have the closest or best relationship so I left it at that, I didn't want to get into an argument

Yanbu, people I've seen doing this, announcing others engagements and putting up 'thinking about you@ person' messages where it's clear that person wanted no one knowing are attention whores.

My friend fell out with his brother who did this and even included news about the baby's hole in her heart-he's a fucking huge attention whore, that seems to be very prevalent nowadays though, shown by constant selfie taking! 15 in one hour for him, so glad I defriended.

www.google.co.uk/search?client=ms-android-h3g-gb&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8&q=facrbook+sharing+someone+else+news#q=facebook+sharing+someone+else%27s+news+etiquette

Facebook isn't that new, people don't think a lot but it's because they want to get their first, they crave the attention and 'likes', most are gossips at heart.

You can usually tell them by:
Loads of selfie
Loads of vague 'give me attention' posts
Loads of rip this celeb
Loads of 'click to like this's
Oversharing their own things
And of course they always gossip and start with 'i shouldn't tell you but...'

Oh and my sibs are also like this, I had to make it clear when I was taken in hospital for emergency that they were not to Put on fb when they visited me after. My brother went 'oh' when I told him, he was already 'checking in's!

In the end they both checked in with vague 'worried' posts and then were cagey to hyle up the attention!

Hearing about a close relative's sudden death via the newspaper isnt remotely comparable to a friend using social media to congratulate you on your child's birth

If the first mention of the birth a friend sees and comments on isn't the one made by the baby's parents (because that's the way their news feed rolls, not because the friend jumped the gun), have the parents still been deprived of this magical moment?

This happened to me this week.

I gave birth on Christmas Day morning. :)

My cousin put straight up on FB that his cousin was giving birth, congratulations, and tagged me. Luckily we have no common friends, just family, so I could detag myself. Also luckily, it was Christmas so people weren't on FB having better things to do.

He only knew because he was home for Christmas at my aunt's (my mum's sister), who had been told when she called to wish my mum a merry Christmas and found out my other children were there - I'd been induced Christmas Eve due to restricted growth and reduced movement, so it was all very crazy and scary, and my other two had been sent to my parents at the last minute. There was therefore no way of hiding what was happening, and it wasn't a good situation: there could have been problems with the baby.

But I was furious. Irrespective of whether it's good, bad or indifferent news, it was not his news to share. It was mine and DH's, and therefore our choice as to when/how/with whom we shared it.