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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wibu to leave ds, 8 days old, to cry?

76 replies

ACardiganForCat · 25/12/2014 21:11

He wants to sleep on me or on boob all night. Parental advice is to shut the door and leave him to cry, he will stop eventually. Is this unreasonable?

OP posts:
whothehellknows · 25/12/2014 21:12

At that age? YABU.

Spurtle · 25/12/2014 21:13

Don't do it! He's 8 days old, he needs comfort, let him sleep on you. I know it's hard, but the newborn stage is short.

Workrelatedquestion · 25/12/2014 21:13

Yes

poocatcherchampion · 25/12/2014 21:13

Massively unreasonable

orangeone · 25/12/2014 21:13

He's 8 days old. Do what YOU want and instincts tell you as his mum. Not anyone else... Good luck. I remember those first few weeks were exhausting and it must be even worse over Christmas.

chestnut100 · 25/12/2014 21:13

Unbelievably unreasonable, I would go as far as to say utterly neglectful

sanityisamyth · 25/12/2014 21:13

8 days? If you'd said 8 months or 8 years, possibly, but definitely not 8 days.

Gadgettherobot · 25/12/2014 21:13

Yes absolutely unreasonable. Don't do it!

coolaschmoola · 25/12/2014 21:13

At this age YABU it would be both cruel and neglectful.

FushandChups · 25/12/2014 21:14

YABVU - and will be surprised if you get any other response... your baby is 8 days old! Just over a week ago, they were snuggly in your tummy - of course they just want to be with you - that's all they know at that age!

simbacatlivesagain · 25/12/2014 21:14

Yes. Leave him on the boob as long as he wants. It will be fine. he needs to feel your warmth. Otherwise get DH/OH to put him against his skin.

What parental advice? family or a book. If it is family tell them to shut up or go home. Your baby - your rules.

Is he feeding generally?

realme · 25/12/2014 21:15

Ve4y very YABU!8 days!

IShallCallYouSquishy · 25/12/2014 21:15

8 days old? He doesn't even know he's not part of you still. Please don't let him cry. Cuddle him, feed him, rock him. He needs that.

rabbitsnap · 25/12/2014 21:15

Yabu. Please don't shut him in a room. He is a tiny baby, and this will not last long. It is stressful and exhausting, but will pass. I hope you get some longer stretches of sleep soon.

Loletta · 25/12/2014 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flanjabelle · 25/12/2014 21:15

No way. No way in hell. No.

He is 8 days old!! Hes barely out of the womb!!! Of course he wants to sleep on you he has only just got out of you! Poor baby.

my2centsis · 25/12/2014 21:17

8 days!! This must be an absolute joke!! Your baby is 8days old ffs and wants his mum and comfort! And you after 8 DAYS can't deal with him wanting him mum? Where he feels safest?!

Andanotherthing123 · 25/12/2014 21:18

When they are that age they feed constantly and want to sleep on you-it's just what they're programmed to do. Please don't leave him to cry. He needs all that milk and constant feeding is designed to build up your milk supply. Hang on in there, it will get easier.

lovemakespeace · 25/12/2014 21:18

Its so hard and I definitely would support sleep training much more than many on here...but not before 6 months. He is so tiny. You could try swaddling and white noise. Something like a sleepyhead is £££ but some find invaluable. You will survive OP! Fist of solidarity. If you do need to co-sleep then get your DH to look up the safety guidelines and share them with you.

DoingTheBestICan · 25/12/2014 21:18

I'm not going to give you a hard time as I remember those days, let him sleep on you and get yourself set up with drinks and snacks next to you.

Good luck and enjoy this time as it goes very fast.

Original poster
ACardiganForCat · 25/12/2014 21:19

Advice from my Dmum. I am currently cosleeping with him because staying up 24hrs a day holding him proved untenable. He's feeding lots, less than a few days ago though.

OP posts:
Yikesivedoneitagain · 25/12/2014 21:19

It can be so overwhelming to have a baby, who clings on to you all hours of the day and night. It can be a real shock to the system. I think everyone is right, though. You just need to get through it by letting baby do as he needs, no matter how much family members advise otherwise. I understand it sounding attractive, but it would probably even be physically painful for you to hear your little boy cry, I know my boobs would explode if I heard my 5 month old cry for more than a minute or so!

NotSayingImBatman · 25/12/2014 21:19

Are you okay, Cat?

Don't worry, I'm not a weird internet stalker, just had a very rough time with both of my boys as newborns and feel the pain of anyone else that seems to be a bit baby bluesish.

It fucking sucks when they're on you like velcro, doesn't it? I don't know about you, but I'm a person that likes personal space and babies just don't seem to be compatible with that.

hawaiibaby · 25/12/2014 21:19

Please PLEASE don't do it. He is only crying because he needs you - he is too young to learn to soothe himself, he doesn't even understand that he isn't part of you yet. If you have to have a few rough nights or co-sleep, do that. It will not last forever and he really, really needs you - NOT to be left to cry.

I'm sorry, but it would be very cruel to leave him by himself, upset.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 25/12/2014 21:19

Yes. He is a newborn. That is disgusting idea