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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed paying childminder over Christmas?

164 replies

oinkyoink · 19/12/2014 20:43

We have had a childminder (it's a mum in her 60s and 30ish year old daughter who work together) for the two kids since September. She collects my son at 11.30 from nursery and my daughter at 3 from school. She doesn't provide any food which is fine... She's not exactly a quality childminder or one that you rave about and say things like she's worth her weight in gold etc. I don't mean it in a nasty way, I am just aware that she never takes my son out and puts the TV a lot! When I first met the two of them I said I was interested in term time only. The mum had popped out for a second and the daughter said yes that is absolutely fine. When the mum came back I mentioned it again and she said oh no that's not possible at all, we are a business and we want 100% pay all year round whatever the issue. She gets 4 weeks holiday included. I was taken aback as the daughter had just said term time only was fine... Anyway because we had no other minders who could do what we needed we went with them. Now it's come to Xmas and we are having two weeks off and they are having 1.5 weeks off. I have to pay them £240 per week for the two weeks we are away and it's really irritating me. A nanny would cost me a bit more but we would get such better value out of her (doing cooking kids laundry etc) so what do I do? Is it normal a minder charges so much?

There have been a couple of incidences too. My son told me they went to a cafe one day, he asked her for a drink and a muffin and she said no no yet she sat there and had a coffee. I brought this up with her and she was highly embarrassed and the next day she had him in a cafe sending me photos of him with a big muffin etc etc (too late- my son already got the idea what he means to her) he asks her to play with play doh or paint and she says no they can't as one of her nieces has taken the paint (white lies) or play doh. It's not acceptable. It's very clear they are in the business just for the money. I didn't sign the contract she have me at the start, it's still lying on the microwave... I think if I were really happy with them id pay however they really aren't amazing in any way and the little incidences have really bugged me. Thoughts appreciated...

OP posts:
MsAspreyDiamonds · 20/12/2014 06:36

Are they registered with ofsted & your local council? I would raise your concerns with them as they are clearly a money making outfit.

I got my cm by contacting my local children services desk at the council & getting their approved list. There are cms in my area who advertise through social media etc but they are not on the council list. The council carries out checks additionally to ofsted which is reassuring. Check if your local council does this or check with ofsted & or the national childminding association for their approved lists.

I paid my cm 45 pounds for a full day to include all meals, snacks and outings which I thought was very
reasonable. I paid 20 pounds for
school pick up & dinner until I
collected at 5:30pm.

I also paid her half rate during the
holidays but it was clearly stated
before I signed the contract. Do check your paperwork & speak to ofsted about the lack of play opportunities and organise alternative childcare.

Dipankrispaneven · 20/12/2014 07:07

The contract is binding whether you've signed it or not. Presumably you get paid over Christmas?

xvxvxvxvxvxvxvxv · 20/12/2014 07:25

YABU to not expect to pay for holidays
YABVU leaving your poor son with someone so horrible.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 20/12/2014 07:31

It is not the norm to pay a CM holidays or sickness.

Some do require it some don't

And a contract (signed or not) still has to be fair and that would be down to a court to decide not anybody else it would also be down to her to try and enforce if she could be bothered.

A CM is not an employee they have no legal right to paid holiday or sickness the same as any other self employed person

fairylightsonthetree · 20/12/2014 07:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Waltonswatcher · 20/12/2014 07:37

Christ on a bike.
I wouldn't leave the cat with those two.
This isn't about money. It's about care that is screaming something is wrong . Listen to yourself op-the woman isn't treating your dc as any loving person would.
I know I'd be looking for an alternative .

Springcleanish · 20/12/2014 07:58

All our childminders when the kids were young, were amazing. We've had a series of people from the children being 4months old until 10.

They've all, even the ones who only provided after school care, looked after the kids as family. They've gone to nativities and sports days when we couldn't, they' we taken the children to different places. One used to regularly take my daughter for a coffee after the supermarket run, and either take snacks with her or buy my daughter something.

All except one who didn't work in the hols, took full or half pay then, but we used them once or twice a week to retain the contact.

If your childminder isn't like this, find a new one. Places come up all the time keep checking and ask around. Is there an after school club your eldest could go to? Or a nursery for the youngest?

If it was me I'd use the christmas hols as my notice period.
Good luck with your decision.

Balaboosta · 20/12/2014 08:16

Fgs. There's nothing to say but get a different childminder. It infuriates me when people put up with substandard care for their DCs. You're asking your child to manage not having you there. The deal is that you do everything in your power to make sure the care they get is whole-hearted and good. There are amazing nannies and childminders around. Get your finger out and find one.

chasingtherainbow · 20/12/2014 08:33

Why would you leave your son with these people? This is what I'm trying to get my head around.

To quote you - "too late, my son already knows what he means to her"

Damn right. And not just because she refused him food at a cafe.. This is just a taste of it I am almost certain. I've seen these "child carers" before. They are simply dragging your child about their day with barely one eye on them and charging you for it. Not an ounce of love or care. Child=money.

Your son won't be scarred over a lack of muffin. But he could have long lasting effects if you leave him in such a cold environment.

Surely you want the best for him? ... though I notice when you talk about "value" from a nanny, you don't mention how they'd organise exciting activities, give one on one care etc. . You mention chores.

chasingtherainbow · 20/12/2014 08:37

Also, CM are self employed. I'd consider a retainer during school holidays normal but it's down to the SE to make sure they can make their finances cover sickness and holidays. Full pay over Xmas is ridiculous.

SamiBE · 20/12/2014 08:46

A lot of childminders have their holiday pay built in their fees so parents don't have to pay for when they're off. I'd honestly look for someone more professional also are they ofsted registered? If so they have to follow some sort of curriculum type thing rather than allowing kids to watch tv all day x

Iggly · 20/12/2014 08:51

It infuriates me when people put up with substandard care for their DCs

^this!

Purplepoodle · 20/12/2014 08:54

This is why I use daycare - can't be beaten for realiability and availability. Quite shocked at reading some childminders take 5 weeks holidays plus bank hols. As sole ft carer for my kids I only get 4 weeks off work myself

Starlightbright1 · 20/12/2014 09:01

I am a Childminder... What shocks me most about this post is that your reason for posting is about paying for holidays...As self employed Childminders can set up contracts how they want...However your reason for not wanting to pay is the care ... I personally would be more concerned about the care than the contract

Pastperfect · 20/12/2014 09:04

Leaving aside the fact that you need a new CM surely outside of their 4/5 weeks hols you only pay when they are available?
If she's had her paid hols just let her know you'll be dropping your son for a few sessions so you can do Christmas shopping/catch up on sleep/ whatever....

Playthegameout · 20/12/2014 09:06

I'm also baffled as to why you leave ypur dc with these women. What was it like when you interviewed them? Did they talk about the types of activities they do? Did the show you other learning journeys? Did you read the Ofstead report? How many different childminders/nurseries did you visit first?

I just find it difficult to understand you taking the decision to place your children with anyone without taking great care to be certain they'd do the very best for them.

supermum06 · 20/12/2014 09:25

Maybe find a term time only minder, personally as a Childminder myself and a mum i'd definitely be searching for a new minder, my little ones are treated like my own and plus because I work term time only I charge term time only too although there are minders who work all year round and charge a percentage during the hols as they can't afford to take a drop in salary for 12 weeks a year... My kids do craft activities nearly every day but then that's me , have you looked on childcare.co.UK for a new minder?

Dipankrispaneven · 20/12/2014 09:29

And a contract (signed or not) still has to be fair and that would be down to a court to decide not anybody else it would also be down to her to try and enforce if she could be bothered.

There is no way that this contract would be found to be unfair. The sort of factors that make a contract unfair are where there is unequal bargaining power or that one of the parties had little or no choice but to accept the terms. In this case, there are plenty of childminders around, there was no compulsion on OP to agree to these terms, nor has there been any compulsion on her to carry on with the arrangement.

It is irrelevant what other childminders do. All that is relevant is the terms of the contract.

I agree that this one sounds like a lousy childminder however - there are plenty of good ones out there and if I were OP I would be looking for them; there's no particular need to go for the nanny option.

SoggyOldBiscuit · 20/12/2014 09:36

I think the money is the least of your worries.

Why on earth are you leaving your DC with people who do not look after them properly?

Porridge2503 · 20/12/2014 09:50

I am a childminder
I don't charge for my holidays! But if I am working and parents take holiday then it is full pay, every year I take 2 weeks at Christmas as I like to spend the time with my family.
These childminders may be running a business, but that is extreme charging you for everything, and as for taking to a cafe, I am always doing that, but my children are all aloud to choose a cake and drink even if it costs me. I think you need to get rid and either find another childminder or get a nanny
These childminder give us all a bad name and it's wrong, I have lovely parents that I class as friends.

needaholidaynow · 20/12/2014 09:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hoppinggreen · 20/12/2014 09:56

There are 2 seperate things here.
If your contract says you have to pay for the holidays then you do, however unfair that might seem.
Secondly it doesn't sound like she's a great CM so you need to look for an alternative for your childcare.

PlayDay18 · 20/12/2014 09:57

I'm a Childminder and I don't charge if I am on holiday or ill (inc. bank holidays). I do charge full fees when child is ill or on holiday, and I do a term time only contract at 1/2 fees, as this keeps the place open for your child.

I see it as if I am not providing a service how can I charge.

If you haven't signed contracts, I would give a lump sum of money (£150?) and give notice and find a better CM.

It's sad that you haven't found the right one as there are plenty of very good CM out, that certainly wouldn't not buy a treat in the cafe and wouldn't put the TV on all day.

Speak to your school or nursery for a list of CM or ones that pick up from there already.

Good Luck

OriginalGreenGiant · 20/12/2014 09:57

Our cm gets paid 52 weeks a year. She takes 2 weeks off in the summer and 2 weeks off over Xmas and we pay her half the holiday rate for those 4 weeks.

So in term time she has 2 dc after school 3 days a week (cost £54 a week for both).

During the 9 weeks of the school holidays that she works, we pay the full daily rate of £56 a day (for both, which covers any hours we want from 8-7 inc meals). So £168 a week, but that's regardless of if the dc are there. I get some holidays in non- term time so the dc won't go but we pay anyway.

During the 4 weeks of school holidays that she doesn't work, we pay half the holiday rate, so £84 a week and have to find alternative childcare.

We don't pay if she's ill or her dc are, meaning she can't work but still pay in full if the dc can't go due to illness or any other reason.

Nanny0gg · 20/12/2014 10:04

For all the complaining you've done here, you still kept your son with them. You were fully aware you had to pay up now so you're finding all these issues. With the cafe incident, you sent your son back so why now is this all such a big problem, because you have to pay?

^^This. Up to now you've been happy to leave your son with someone who clearly isn't bothered.

It's him I feel sorry for.