That's it! No more miserable mornings, sleepless nights, screaming and crying at drop off, hours of guilty angst.
After a near meltdown yesterday (I posted here) I decided that something had to give and it was Nursery. DD is almost 3 and she hasn't settled in 2 months. She goes 2 mornings a week and it has really affected her. She has been more withdrawn, quick to tears and is so clingy with me she won't even go to her Dad. I've tried everything - talking a lot about nursery, not talking about it, books, bribery, star charts etc. and nothing works. It was a very carefully chosen nursery (we looked at 10) with low child/staff ratio, low staff turnover, child centred etc. She isn't putting it on - she is genuinely devastated when I leave her. I can feel her little heart beating so fast. She tries to be brave but she just can't stop the tears. She spends the whole morning sitting on the lap of her key worker and, although she does join in a bit, she isn't exactly learning much. She rarely speaks (she has speech delay) although her speech has come on so much in the last 6 months at home.
I phoned DD's speech therapist and burst into tears as I'm worried that taking her out of nursery will delay her speech even further. I have seen doctors about her speech (she has a lip tie) and have been told some pretty awful things e.g. "just get her into nursery, she'll have to speak then!" The speech therapist was wonderful. She said that DD was getting excellent speech models at home and from her extended family, and the groups that we attend would also support this. She said that if we weren't happy then that would do DD no favours.
I should know all this. I have a PhD in Early Year Education. I know I can support DD's development well at home. We have a stable home life, close extended family who she sees daily, enough money to do a few different activities, a playroom where we do art/craft activities daily, I am a stay at home mum etc......... AND YET.... I have been brainwashed by the current 'Nursery is best' culture. Everyone of my friend's children are in nursery and I can't help but feel uneasy that my DD isn't. The women who run the SureStart nursery are constantly giving me leaflets and asking if I need help finding a nursery. Everyone asks when she's starting and my MIL is horrified that I have taken her out.
My family supports me as they have seen the change in her, particularly my mum who sees her daily. I thought we might just tick along for the next 6 months and revaluate then.
Please tell me I'm not making a HUGE mistake!! and that she won't always hate school.