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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Our new neighbours are possibly some of the kindest people I've ever met!

219 replies

listsandbudgets · 15/12/2014 21:35

I had to take DS to A&E with an obvious case of bronchilitis at lunch time. I didn't want to take DD 9 unless I had to (she started school holidays on Friday). My friends who'd normally sit with her if necessary was't answering so I tried my neighbours. Neighbour 1 was out. Tried neighbour 2 who moved in relatively recently - elderly couple with lots of grandchildren in and out and was overwhelmed by response when I explained the situation.

She said she was baking and DD could come in with her to help and then eat. He said he knew I didn't drive and insisted on driving us to the hospital. They phoned several times while I was at hospital telling me not to worry about time everything was fine.

DS spent a bit of time on oxygen and was discharged with antibiotics and instructions to come back in morning for chest x ray. He's sleeping now though very wheezy :(

Came home by taxi half an hour ago to find DD had watched a film, been given supper, bath and spare pyjamas belonging to a grandchild and was tucked up in their spare room with a cat on her feet. They said to leave her until morning and they'd pop her back but she woke up when she heard my voice and came home giving them both a great big hug.

Utterly completely overwhelmed by their kindness. How on earth can I ever repay that they hardly know me for goodness sake.

OP posts:

ToomanyChristmasPresents · 16/12/2014 17:10

Yes, reading this thread makes you hesitate to be a good neighbour! Imagine trying to do the right thing for someone and being accused of abusing children based on nothing more than the fact that you were willing to help!

fascicle · 16/12/2014 17:18

UsedtobeFeckless
We stared at the baby. The baby stared at us. She took in the tattoos, the piercings, the dreadlocks and the general fug of disreputability, spliffs and spilt Scorcher. Then she blew a thoughtful bubble and went to sleep.

I love your story and the way you told it.

And the OP's neighbours sound like beautiful people, treating the OP's daughter like one of their own grandchildren.

ladymariner · 16/12/2014 17:57

regina go on then, tell me, what is 'wierd' about asking an elderly man, whom your children obviously and mutually like very much, to babysit occasionally???

Your post has royally pissed me off, it's people like you with your ridiculous, hysterical attitudes that made my Dad, who was truly the most gentle, wonderful, caring man in the world, afraid to talk to children if my Mum wasn't there, in case anyone should get the wrong idea. You should be ashamed of yourself, posting such shite

confusedofengland · 16/12/2014 18:09

OP, your neighbours sound like kind people & I think we need as many of those in the world as we can get! We are also fortunate enough to have lovely neighbours - one set offered to take DS1 to school when I was laid up post CS & unable to drive & they & another set popped their phone numbers through our door in case we ever needed anything. In return, we had them over for Christmas drinks & help take the bins out for those that are not able, that kind of thing. It seems normal to me.

As for trusting people you don't know - I do think that often you have an instinct about people. Last week I was at DS1's school play with 3-year old DS2 & 9-month old DS3. We were there for 1.5 hours total (30 mins before the performance even started) & I was struggling as both got a bit fed up with sitting for so long. One father I have never seen before was making silly faces at DS3 to make him giggle, so after a while I jokingly said he should take him - so he did . They stayed a few feet from me & I watched, the whole 10-15 mins or so, how nicely he held DS3, stood up so he could see better, jiggled him about to make him laugh, then handed him back when he was getting sleepy & he slept in my arms. I did half wonder if I'd done a silly thing, but I could see that DS3 was OK & just thought sometimes you need to trust people. I am very thankful he was there that day & happy to help me out when I needed it

Original poster

listsandbudgets · 16/12/2014 18:21

Oh dear just come back to this and not got time to read it all now.

I see some people have raised the bath issue. I did ask dd as slightly suprised myself and it seems they issued her with towel, pyjamas and a bottle of matey and sent her off to the bathroom where a bath was already running. They didn't come in with her and she bathed and dried herself.

ds did have his xray (dd came for this) and they think he'll be alright :) He certainly seems happier today.

OP posts:

Theboodythatrocked · 16/12/2014 18:25

Some posters on here know what it's to meet a paedophile first hand so would obviously feel a tad nervous at anyone leaving their child with strangers. And yes we all know most children are molested by family and friends but it happens.

There's some vile comments by those agreeing with the op towards those just feeling cautious. Pehaps you would alsoike to tell us that we should get over things and move on.

How horrible.

Pagwatch · 16/12/2014 18:47

Can we not have an assumption that every person who has been abused feels the same please.

ladymariner · 16/12/2014 18:51

Lovely news about your ds lists

weresquirrel · 16/12/2014 18:57

Most people are kind if you give them a chance!

Buttercupsanddaisys · 16/12/2014 19:00

All's well that ends well, then. So pleased to read of a good result at the H.

youarekiddingme · 16/12/2014 19:12

Wow, just wow. How can a thread about the wonderful generosity of neighbours turn into a roasting for the OP for leaving her DD?

I'm glad DS is a bit better.

Fwiw as I understand crime, child murder and child abuse is not at a higher level than it was say 20/30 years ago but it's social media and the development of social/ media infrastructure that leads us to hear about it more.
And 20/30 years ago there was far more neighbourly love about and sense of community.

CheerfulYank · 16/12/2014 19:24

My mom lives a five hour drive away from my DC, her only grandchildren. She loves it when my brother's friends drop by with their kids. There is one little toddler who is especially fond of her. Or fond of her toy closet and willingness to bake cookies with two year olds, at any rate. :)

I don't think adults who like children (even those not related to them! ) and don't mind spending time with them are odd.

notagainffffffffs · 16/12/2014 19:32

My lovely dad would gladly do this for any of his neighbours and their children. I do believe such lovely neighbours exist!
Glad ds is okay and you have made some new friends OP

GoodKingWobblyArse · 16/12/2014 19:50

Op, it sounds like you have lovely neighbours.

RabbitIssue · 16/12/2014 20:07

Not something I'd do but nice story of kindness op.

What isn't nice is how people trying to state a different opinion have been shouted down, aren't people allowed to have different opinions now??

Original poster

listsandbudgets · 16/12/2014 20:25

Managed to read everything now and sad but i suppose understandable this turned into me getting a roasting.

They were not total strangers. They came and introduced themselves and had a cuppa when they moved in and dd has played with their grand daughter a few times. I didn't just pick a random couple in the street. There is in fact a neighbour I know far better but my instinct has always been not to leave my children alone with her.

Ds got antibiotics as they thought he had a chest infection to go with the virus. The x ray showed that up so they made the right decision

OP posts:

zoemaguire · 16/12/2014 20:34

Heartwarming! I love my neighbours too and one of the reasons I never want to move ever again is knowing that in an emergency they'd be right there, even at 4am if need be. As would I be for them.

How utterly depressing to read some of the comments on here. Your worlds sound like such threatening places to be. Fwiw I also think your risk assessment antennae have been twisted and knotted and are really not working as they should! The op used her judgement, and bloody good it turned out to be too.

duchesse · 16/12/2014 20:41

We have some utterly lovely neighbours as well. Lovely neighbours make such an enormous difference, especially when they can stand in as surrogate family if needed.

sanfairyanne · 16/12/2014 22:56

until right to the very end of this thread i thought this was utterly naive and reckless. maybe the thread title 'new' and 'met' suggesting you didnt actually know them at all. i can understand the faces.
but as you knew them already, it seems almost a non-story. most of my neighbours would do the same. i would ask them (but more likely one of my child's friends parents) and they would do the same
glad all is well

AlwaysHoldingOnToStars · 16/12/2014 23:04

I locked myself out once by leaving the keys at school which was half an hours walk away.

My lovely neighbours, who I barely knew, let us all in, let me use their phone to call DH (who didn't answer as it was a withheld number) cooked my children dinner, and then Mr Neighbours dad turned up and drove me back to the school to get my keys!

I was so grateful to them, we would have been stuck outside freezing, or I would have had to walk the kids to the school and back (great, another hours worth of walking) And it turned out one of them was ill as they puked as they walked in the door (then I felt guilty that they might have passed their germs to my lovely neighbours, but grateful that at least they'd waited till they got home to throw up!)

I can think of another couple of neighbours that I don't really know, but would trust if anything should happen and need someone to look after my children.

Which is really nice after living in an area where I wouldn't have trusted my neighbours to look after a hamster, let alone a child (and these were people with their own young children!)

SisterMerror · 17/12/2014 08:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rainyevening · 17/12/2014 09:54

Your neighbours sound really lovely.

I had a great relationship with our next door neighbours when I was really little. The woman of the couple was really like my third grandmother (and a LOT nicer than one of my actual grandmothers). She even toilet trained me when that was doing my mother's head in*. She was a really special person in my life and I'm glad my parents trusted them enough to let me have that relationship with them.

*why my mother felt unable to toilet train her own daughter is a whole separate issue

UsedtobeFeckless · 17/12/2014 10:09

Fascicle Thanks!

DP is an absolute kid-magnet, in spite of looking like one of LOTR's leftover Orcs!

GooseyLoosey · 17/12/2014 10:33

Several years ago ds had a serious accident which required him to be air-lifted to hospital. He was about 7 and dd was 6. I wanted to go with him but there was no space in the helicopter for dd. What would you have done? Ds could have been dying - could I have left him?

On the other hand - I was miles from anywhere. What could I do with dd?

What would you have done?

daisychain01 · 17/12/2014 11:04

To anyone who posted "how could you think of leaving your DD with people you don't know or have anything in common with?" The one thing we all have in common is that we are humans

If only we spent energy thinking about our similarities rather than our differences the world would be more peaceful!

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