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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Our new neighbours are possibly some of the kindest people I've ever met!

219 replies

listsandbudgets · 15/12/2014 21:35

I had to take DS to A&E with an obvious case of bronchilitis at lunch time. I didn't want to take DD 9 unless I had to (she started school holidays on Friday). My friends who'd normally sit with her if necessary was't answering so I tried my neighbours. Neighbour 1 was out. Tried neighbour 2 who moved in relatively recently - elderly couple with lots of grandchildren in and out and was overwhelmed by response when I explained the situation.

She said she was baking and DD could come in with her to help and then eat. He said he knew I didn't drive and insisted on driving us to the hospital. They phoned several times while I was at hospital telling me not to worry about time everything was fine.

DS spent a bit of time on oxygen and was discharged with antibiotics and instructions to come back in morning for chest x ray. He's sleeping now though very wheezy :(

Came home by taxi half an hour ago to find DD had watched a film, been given supper, bath and spare pyjamas belonging to a grandchild and was tucked up in their spare room with a cat on her feet. They said to leave her until morning and they'd pop her back but she woke up when she heard my voice and came home giving them both a great big hug.

Utterly completely overwhelmed by their kindness. How on earth can I ever repay that they hardly know me for goodness sake.

OP posts:
gotthemoononastick · 16/12/2014 12:05

Your neighbours are so lucky! Wish I had a child to bake with and do a craft with and watch a story with today.They must have had a lovely afternoon!

Our neighbours' boys of 12 and 7 do not even greet us back_ we have lived here for 8 years.They do arrive for 'Trick or Treat',though,and we do' Treat',even though it is not our culture to do this.

NewEraNewMindset · 16/12/2014 12:22

I popped in and had a chat with an elderly lady a few doors up on Sunday. We were just dropping a card through as I am friendly with her husband who is the local 'man who is involved in everything' village-wise, and she opened the door.

It would have been so easy to say we couldn't stay and made our excuses but instead i sent DP home (as I knew he would sit there with a cats arse face past 10 mins) and DS and I stayed there for about half an hour.

She had me roaring with laughter with all the local gossip and she was happy for my toddler to disassemble all her cupboards and play with the dancing Santa toys. When we went to leave she was imploring me to come back again and have tea with her.

So very often we have people in our road who would love the company and opportunity to make some local connections. Particularly Grandparents who are missing their Grandchildren. One day we are going to be the people sitting quietly in our dusty homes staring out the windows and other peoples Christmas bustle and trying out best to not come across as weird and sinister.

Strangers are friends we haven't met yet Grin

Buttercupsanddaisys · 16/12/2014 12:24

OP, I hope that today went well at the H. And your little lad is recovering well. And your daughter sounds absolutely lovelySmile

I've still a card made for me by a little girl I looked after for a day some while ago. The centre said "thank you for a lovely day yesterday" and she'd made a border round it on which she'd drawn all the highlights of the day, including a cake we'd baked, the cat she'd cuddled, the tree she'd climbed, oh! and a long wiggly worm she'd found in the garden. I absolutely treasure that card Smile

LL12 · 16/12/2014 12:29

How sweet.
We had new neighbours (not next door) move in last Christmas, they are a youngish family with 3 children and walked up the rd with a Christmas card and box of chocolates for each house.
My husband answered the door and they were so nice and introduced themselves, my husband was so taken aback as we have never had neighbours so friendly that he forgot to tell them his own name and those of his family.
They go along the rd if there is a power cut to check everyone is OK, it's really nice.

OddFodd · 16/12/2014 12:42

Chucklehead, Feckless! :o

Pagwatch · 16/12/2014 12:52

"oddfodd

You're backpedalling so fucking fast you might be able to win the Tour if the wind was favourable."

Grin
HeraldAngelSinging · 16/12/2014 13:06

Just be there for your neighbours when the time comes, Lists

beautyfades · 16/12/2014 13:21

Mrsmorton I'm saying I think its odd that's all. My opinion just like yours. The bath bit is odd to me as they were both strangers.

daisychain01 · 16/12/2014 14:06

I think the OP made a judgement call in stressful circumstances

IMHO this was the be-all and end-all, because sometimes when faced with a crisis, we just need to make a "good-enough" decision. We may not have 100% certainty, but the decision is the best one at the time.

It's easy to say "it isn't something I would do with my DC", but when there is no other choice, or your head is absolutely pounding with the urgency of a healthcare emergency, it's necessary to place yourself in other people's hands and trust.

It wasn't like it was a nice sunny day out there and the OP just fancied the afternoon off ...

ToomanyChristmasPresents · 16/12/2014 14:29

I'm glad you have such wonderful neighbours and you are now good friends. Maybe someday you will be able to return the favour in some way. I hope your little son is feeling much better. Xmas Smile

(Take no notice of the negative posters. It's always a judgement call and a risk when you trust someone for the first time. You obviously made the right decision. Your instincts are sound and the very best was done for your children in the situation.)

MindReader · 16/12/2014 14:29

Goodness Shock

OP.
Your neighbours sound very kind and normal.
I am sure the bath part of it was just part of the tea/bath/bed routine and they assumed that is what she'd be doing at home and offered the same.

If I had to take a child of that sort of age in an emergency I would certainly offer a nice warm bath if they wanted one - would hand them towel, pj's and let them get on with it.

Hope your ds is feeling brighter today.
Bronchiolitis is horrible.

MindReader · 16/12/2014 14:43

Sorry, the goodness and shock-face was NOT at the sensible decision you made in extremis, OP, it was more at the turn the thread has taken at times.

Minisoksmakehardwork · 16/12/2014 14:44

That's lovely. I grew up next to and elderly couple. They treated us like their grandchildren (they only had the one child themselves who in turn was only able to have one). We grew up with them filling a grandparent's role. It was lovely. And I miss them both terribly.

Buttercupsanddaisys · 16/12/2014 15:00

Well, I've had another look at the card the little girl, 8-9ish I think, I looked after that day. That was a spur of the moment offer by me btw as I'd stopped to talk to the mum as she passed as she was having to go somewhere unexpectedly....

The border round the card brings back memories of that day. I seem to have fed her quite a variety of sugary confections.There's a block of chocolate there, an ice cream with poss.a flake stuck in it,a chocolate chip cookie and, of course, the cakes we baked. There's something which might have been a burger in a bun?I'd forgotten that it must have been a really hot day cos there's a pic of the pool and the multi-coloured float we used in it. I remember that we went in, I can only assume that she stripped to her nix and sunbathed dry? There's certainly a bed of sorts there and I spect it was a sunbed....and, of course, the famous wiggly worm, a memory of playing in the dirt..

In fact, my childminding faults are really piling up, aren't they?Xmas Grin

vdbfamily · 16/12/2014 15:10

Lovely story.
We have a delightful elderly neighbour who my kids are constantly pestering to watch his telly and eat his biscuits. If he hasn't seen them for a week he will come and ask if all is well. We have started asking him to babysit occasionally and I have a couple of friends who think that is weird but I think it is better to trust people than not. (and I speak as someone who was sexually abused as a 6 year old but by a trusted family member!)

ReginaBlitz · 16/12/2014 15:30

sorry but it is weird.

MrsSaginowsky · 16/12/2014 15:36

I can't believe they bathed her! Sorry I wouldn't be happy with that at all.

Buttercupsanddaisys · 16/12/2014 16:07

I'm sure, given her age and knowing that it would be a Latin night for her mum at the H, they ran a bath for her and provided the pjs, leaving her to get on with it?

Different scenario and it's all in the tellingConfused

curiousgeorgie · 16/12/2014 16:08

I don't understand why a 9 year old can't go with you to hospital...

Buttercupsanddaisys · 16/12/2014 16:09

Latin night? What fresh horrors does this conjure up!

Late night, obv..

Buttercupsanddaisys · 16/12/2014 16:11

Still here, getting weary. OP has already said that she was so pleased. The sight of the little lad with an oxygen mask would be truly distressing - no?

ToomanyChristmasPresents · 16/12/2014 16:12

It doesn't sound like they bathed her, but rather offered her a bath.

Unless the OP states otherwise, I think we can safely presume this is what happened. If the neighbours had been "hands on," I would expect the girl would have mentioned this to her mum!

ToomanyChristmasPresents · 16/12/2014 16:13

A 9 year old could go to the hospital, but why should she? Instead she was treated with caring and kindness and had a lovely time rather than spending all night in the hospital with her stressed out mum.

PoirotsMoustache · 16/12/2014 16:37

Your neighbours sound lovely OP. They remind me of my grandparents, who would have done exactly the same.

In fact, they gave me a bath every time I stayed with them. They achieved this by asking if I wanted one, running it and then leaving me to undress and enjoy my bath alone. Dodgy eh? Hmm

Anyway, all of you who think 'oh my god but they're strangers - this may be the case, but the OP knows where they live and an older couple with grandchildren visiting all the time are hardly ready to do something untoward then leg it in a moonlight flit.

No wonder so many people are scared to help out with kids!

offtoseethewizard64 · 16/12/2014 16:51

I don't know where you all live, but around here everyone seems to know where the paedophiles live and warn their children appropriately.

I have left my DS with neighbours whom I don't know that well, but who had their own children (older than my DS) in a medical emergency with DD. Equally, I have taken DS with me in the back of an ambulance when there was no one else to have him. He once spent a happy hour drawing and colouring at the A&E consultants desk whilst his sister was in resus - not a place to take a child unless they are the patient. All those machines freak my DH out (and we've been there more times than I'd are to count), so I can understand why the OP didn't want her 9 year old to see her little brother attached to monitors/oxygen/i/v drips, plus the staff don't want surplus children around whilst they are trying to do their jobs.

The OP did what she felt was right at the time. Sounds like her DD had a lovely time. It is lovely to live somewhere where neighbours help each other out. I know I could call on my neighbours for help, but that doesn't mean we live in each others pockets.