Our new neighbours are possibly some of the kindest people I've ever met!

[listsandbudgets]

I had to take DS to A&E with an obvious case of bronchilitis at lunch time. I didn't want to take DD 9 unless I had to (she started school holidays on Friday). My friends who'd normally sit with her if necessary was't answering so I tried my neighbours. Neighbour 1 was out. Tried neighbour 2 who moved in relatively recently - elderly couple with lots of grandchildren in and out and was overwhelmed by response when I explained the situation.

She said she was baking and DD could come in with her to help and then eat. He said he knew I didn't drive and insisted on driving us to the hospital. They phoned several times while I was at hospital telling me not to worry about time everything was fine.

DS spent a bit of time on oxygen and was discharged with antibiotics and instructions to come back in morning for chest x ray. He's sleeping now though very wheezy :(

Came home by taxi half an hour ago to find DD had watched a film, been given supper, bath and spare pyjamas belonging to a grandchild and was tucked up in their spare room with a cat on her feet. They said to leave her until morning and they'd pop her back but she woke up when she heard my voice and came home giving them both a great big hug.

Utterly completely overwhelmed by their kindness. How on earth can I ever repay that they hardly know me for goodness sake.

The child is 9 , perfectly old enough to bathe and dress herself. Why do people assume the worst ? Bit surprised you have ab's for ds though as bronchiolitis is viral.

One of my neighbours who I know by sight and knows I work with children wound up at my door with her 4year old DS because water was gushing through her ceiling (flats.) I was out but my DP took her and her little boy in. Checked her home and turned off the electrics and then looked after her little boy whilst she was outside frantically calling her landlord then going to get her mother etc.

They didn't know my DP, only me at that point and I wasn't there.

The little boy made my DP a card and she also bought us a bottle of wine.

...I'm worried by people's reactions to genuine kindness.

Sure they are lovely people and it's the ops right to make a judgment call.

Personally I would never ever leave my child with a virtual stranger of any age for any reason other than a life or death situation.

But then I was assaulted frequently by the friendly old school bus driver grandad in the 70s,as were all the other little girls on the bus but no one listened, and I have worked in child protection where stories would make you weep but each to their own choices.

Neither is right or wrong. No one is a pearl clutcher whatever that is.

We all make judgment calls.

NewEra it isn't 'nasty bile' it's called having an opinion, which other posters are perfectly entitled to, although some Mumsnetters seem to think that if another persons opinion differs from their own it gives them the right to attack that person

I wouldn't ever leave my child alone with strangers, too risky no matter how many Grandchildren I saw coming in and out of the house. I had to take my 3 year old to the hospital for croup, I am a single Mum so my 1 year old had to come as well. I have neighbours, who also have Grandchildren but there is no way that the thought of leaving my DS with them would have ever crossed my mind.

As for your DD having a bath, that is strange beyond belief.

It is nice to see there are genuine nice people out there willing to help each other out. It sounds like you made a good call OP. I hope your DS is better soon.

NightOwl8 - my thinking exactly! No reason the 9 year old couldn't go to the hospital atall, my DS has had loads of medical problems and been in and out of hospital his whole life and when I couldn't get hold of anyone to watch DD she came with us to the hospital, never crossed my mind to leave her at the first house who opened their door - why would it?!
And I don't know why people keep saying she'd be alone in A&E? She'd be with her Mum and brother??

NightOwl, your opinion is more important than my opinion I assume?

Thread upon thread is the same. An innocent opening post stating how wonderful something is, lots of people agreeing that life is indeed wonderful and then it's as though someone starts beating the jungle drums and suddenly through the undergrowth the negative, dark people creep out whispering about pedophiles and child murderers.

We know! Honestly WE KNOW!! You would have to exist in a cave up a mountain to not realise that terrible things happen to children every day. I am sure the OP reads the papers, hell we know she uses the internet! She was in an emergency situation and decided to ask a neighbour to watch her nine year old and the neighbour did the most beautiful job. So of course she made the mistake of coming on here and marvelling in the wonderful sense of community she had uncovered and how grateful she was for someone going over and above and caring for her child.

Never one to miss an opportunity the perfect Mothers of MN united and have blasted her for her naivety, and now she has been told. Excellent job. Everyone can now retreat back into their tiny boxes, lock the door nice and tight and make sure that we know no one down the road or next door, everyone face forward, even better eyes to the floor just incase you catch the eye of a monster, because that is definitely keeping children and adults safe. The stats are proof of that!! Good stuff.

Round of applause NewEra

This thread made me so happy. Then I read some of the comments and I am utterly depressed. OP, what lovely neighbours you have.

We desperately need an antidote to the screaming headlines which have proliferated over the last 20 odd years that we are NOT SAFE. We ARE safe, almost all the time. Yes, dreadul things do happen, can happen. But mostly, they don't, and mostly we are safe. Mostly people are nice. Mostly people can be trusted to be kind and tolerant.

What we hear about are the exceptions, and this colours our perceptions and expectations. It's easy to feel that these are not exceptions and that the criminals are in the majority. They're not.

We need to hear about the good people, the kind and thoughtful people, the helpful and cooperative. The NORMAL people, in other words.

Thank you, listsandbudgets, for your op. It's great to know there are normal people and normal neighbours in the world

The largest threat to our children today is obesity. Caused by over-anxious parents preventing their children from going out and exercising their developing muscles because they are convinced they will be abused or killed.

Much better that they are sitting inside, on their backsides all day, using their iPad and Gaming device munching crisps and drinking pop. When they develop diabetes at 12 and have their leg amputated in old age they will thank you from the bottom of their failing hearts I'm sure. Fabulous childhood memories of the four walls of their bedroom.

I'm glad your neighbours are lovely but I don't understand why you couldn't take your 9 year old with you...

My 10 month old had the same thing and I took my 3 year old with me.

I have elderly neighbours with grandchildren on each side and I wouldn't dream of asking them to watch my DD.

(And would be a bit weirded out if they gave her a bath.)

NewEra and

Oh how lovely, leaving your child with the neighbours who are strangers because they are so kind! Yes, your really lucky

I wouldn't have left my child with strangers, she would have gone with me. I am also a bit as to why she needed a bath there.

As for this claimed "paedophile on every corner" hysteria so often claimed on MN. I think there's a LOT more of them about than we are aware of, recent published figures relating to children who endured sexual abuse show this and in my opinion being cautious doesn't hurt.

They sound lovely :) maybe send some flowers with a card from your dd. Neighbours are not really strangers anyway, I see mine and say hello all the time, take post etc. I've even offered to get shopping for an elderly neighbour when it was snowing badly. I wouldn't do that for a stranger in the street.

I was brought up by a completely paranoid mother and it took me a long time to relax and see that not every stranger was out to kill me

How lovely OP. I haven't been in this situation but have had to call on neighbours in the past to help out with an issue. It was 1am in the morning, I was 16 and my 18 year old brother was seriously ill, my dad was away (mum lived 100's of miles away) and I had to run down the street in the middle of the night to find someone awake to help me out. I didn't know them from Adam but they came, calmed me down, helped with general first aid and sat with me until an ambulance arrived. Before we moved I also lived next door to the loveliest elderly couple and wouldn't have hesitated to leave my DD with them, despite them being relative 'strangers'.

I hope you are okay OP...I read this last night and thought how lovely your neighbours were and how sensible you had been, A&E is not a place for spare children.

and then wondered how long it'd be before the hysterics would start.

Maybe some people have valid reasons for not wanting to leave their DC with neighbours they barely know...?

I don't have children but if I did I would never do this. However that's me and I do have my reasons for being cautious. If thay makes me paranoid or hysterical or whatever then so be it.

My mum has been that neighbour. What's more, at that time she and the neighbour in need did not even have a language in common. But mum looked after his dc and developed a strong and lasting relationship with them.

If the OP has seen her neighbours interacting with their grandchildren, and has a good feeling about them, then I see nothing wrong with her actions. I'm not intimate with my neighbours, but there are 4 I would be happy to call upon in the OP's circumstances, and 3 that I would not consider calling upon.

^that

Makings here of a MNet-generated modern Hans Christian Anderson tale (he knew a thing or two about child abuse and torture, ever read the unabridged stories?)

So here we've got white-haired universal granny baking little cakes with just a hint, a suspicion, a pinch(geddit?) even of some illegal powder in the cakes and frosting, which she tricks the YI into baking with her and then eating.

The cakes are baked in the range oven of an open wood fire, constantly being poked into hotter and hotter flames with an iron poker(oh yea! Really getting into this now..)

She, of course, has a black cat with strange, unblinking, mesmeric yellow eyes, ready to lull poor little flaxon-haired Young Innocent into a trance until the Suspicious White Powder does its stuff.

Her husband, partner in crime and sometime wood chopper,, while posing as the Gallant Rescuer of the young mother and her poorly son, whisks her away to a busy A&E which, with the current NHS cutbacks to general practices, is guaranteed to be full and ensure many hours away, while they have their Wikkid Way with the poor, flaxon-haired and by now drugged YI.

While they have their Wikkid Ways with Poor Innocent, they assuage the anxieties of the young mother with frequent phone calls to make sure she's still there, cunningly masking this true reason with many expressed concerns and reassurances.

I'm thinking that the red hot poker comes into play at some stage, but it's sooty blackness is eventually washed off the body of the YI in a bath. With bubbles?

Thank the Good Lord that the sound of her mother's dear voice awakes YI from her stupor. Her mother, despite protestations of the Wikkid Twosome that YI can be safely left there in the charge of the Mesmeric Cat overnight, picks up her little girl and takes her safely home...

Something like that?

Buttercups

If you want to marvel at someone's trusting nature - try this!

Ages ago ( well before the DSs ) DP and I were sitting on the ground by the cider van at Lambeth county fair with a selection of our bike club. We were all pretty pissed happy ... A woman scooted up to DP, thrust a small baby into his arms, said " Back in a sec ... " and cantered off over the horizen.

We stared at the baby. The baby stared at us. She took in the tattoos, the piercings, the dreadlocks and the general fug of disreputability, spliffs and spilt Scorcher. Then she blew a thoughtful bubble and went to sleep.

We had no idea what to do - we were all trollied and the situation was a bit novel. So we just stayed where we were and DP carried on cuddling the sleeping baby for an hour or so until the mum re-appeared, retrieved the sprog, thanked DP and passed out of our lives forever.

Still boggles the hell out of me 20 years later!

Sounds like my lovely neighbour (an ex-nurse), who offered to look after dd so dp could come and visit me in hospital last week. It is great to have such lovely neighbours.